I'm not fundamentally opposed to going on holiday on my own.
I've done so in the past, even when I was with her (technically it was a business trip but I could have taken her with me if I'd wanted to). It was more the fact that she doesn't have a problem with changing her mind at the very last minute, even if a considerable amount of money is involved. I've lost count of the number of times we've been supposed to go to a particular restaurant, or to see a particular film, or go to a particular park or whatever, only to change at the last minute and do something else instead.

The fact that I wasn't strong enough in the past led to me leaving: in the end, my inner self took so many blows that it ended up screaming "Stop this bullshit immediately". My departure was a huge metaphorical slap in the face for her and she did take a long, hard look at her own behaviour, but there are certain things that still haven't changed and I'm beginning to realise they're never going to change.

Don't worry, it doesn't sound that harsh at all: my experience with this woman has made me more flameproof than the space shuttle ;-).

Edit: @ Smysha - my original post comes across as a rant and pretty harsh on her but I do recognise the huge efforts she's made, and I support her in those efforts. My behaviour has not always been perfect either and I've made efforts as well; what I'm really wondering is whether it's possible for us to be sufficiently reconciled as people.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 12:47, 1 reply)

From what you said,
what she actually doesn't have a problem with is changing her mind at the last minute when it's not her who has to pay the consequences. You booked and paid for the train/airline tickets, you lost the money. What did she lose?

"Dump her" sounds a lot easier than it is, but I'm afraid based on what you've said about her, it's the only solution. And the pain and anguish for both of you will be over sooner if it happens sooner.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 14:44, closed)

Bizarrely,
she doesn't seem to mind changing her mind at the last minute even if she does have to pay. The concept of booking train tickets a reasonable length of time in advance in order to get a decent price and thus save money, for example, is completely alien to her. Going to Berlin on 25 December? OK, let's get the tickets on the 24th.

Part of the problem is the fact that she has a different notion of the value of money to most of us: both her parents are loaded, and her grandfather was seriously rich, so despite her unspectacular school career and series of very modestly-paying jobs she bought her own flat in cash in her early twenties.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 8:38, closed)