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This is a question Banks

Your Ginger Fuhrer froths, "I hate my bank. Not because of debt or anything but because I hate being sold to - possibly pathologically so - and everytime I speak to them they try and sell me services. Gold cards, isas, insurance, you know the crap. It drives me insane. I ALREADY BANK WITH YOU. STOP IT. YOU MAKE ME FRIGHTED TO DO MY NORMAL BANKING. I'm angry even thinking about them."

So, tell us your banking stories of woe.

No doubt at least one of you has shagged in the vault, shat on a counter or thrown up in a cash machine. Or something

(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 13:15)
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Debbie Jones and my Fucking Car
One Friday afternoon I parked my car and went over to the ATM. I had plans. Big plans. All I needed was a bunch of lovely crisp banknotes to oil the wheels; my drinking fund. Unbenown to me, high above on top of one of the tall buildings that framed the street a girl named Debbie Jones was edging closer to the edge, tears streaming down her face.

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP...

No cash! Shit!

I wrestled with the onscreen options and obtained a mini statement. Shit! My account had been raped by those bastards at British Gas! No... fucking... drinking... funds... shit...

I turned, my plans well and truly fucked. Instead of a night in the pub, all I had to look forward to was a TV meal and a night in front of the idiot box. Fucking British Gas and their automated payments... Suddenly, as if from nowhere, this girl Debbie’s substantial form – arms and legs flapping like a hideous pink butterfly – hurtled down from above and crashed onto the roof of my motor. My beloved Ford seemed to buckle in two, the windows smashed, the alarm went off. I was splattered in a fine spray of Debbie’s blood and brains and, worse than this, my car was a complete write-off.

Shit...

I glanced down at the mini statement, glanced back up at the mass of crushed flesh and bone that had totalled my car. I cursed my luck. How was this possible? I could understand being fucked over by one, but I was left reeling after being fucked up the arse financially by two random direct Deb-hits in the space of a few minutes...
(I helped save b3ta! SpankyHanky, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:50, 11 replies)
Excellent.
*click*
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:02, closed)
Top work
mate! clicks!
(Lizard King, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:10, closed)
Bastard...
Totally threw me this did - what with the vehicle parking, I never thought it would be one of yours.

And there's not enough sex anyway...

*click*
(I helped save b3ta! snee held his breath since, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:11, closed)
Oh bloody hell.
You got me again.

*Clicks*

Sterling work sir.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:13, closed)
You're sick
but funny :-) needed that this morning, thanks!
(Aunt Sally, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:16, closed)
*Spang*
Gah, I was hooked at the first line...

You really are a terrible cunt Spanky.

*clicks*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:32, closed)
*click*
Direct DebHits indeed..

Well done Spanky.
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 11:08, closed)
Ohhhhhh
Bloody hell Spanky !


clicks and grins
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 11:53, closed)
Oh
for fucks sake!!
/clicks until finger is sore
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 21 Jul 2009, 12:00, closed)
Do you just sit thinking up puns all day bud??
Or are you the guy that comes up with the text in birthday cards?

*Click* again!
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 12:15, closed)
AHA!
You, Sir, do not have a car.
(I helped save b3ta! MatJ LOOK, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 13:23, closed)

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