bananas
the previous fruit-themed stories have reinded me of something quite horrible. this is probably a pea, but my memory is terrible at times.

many years ago, a much younger Smash went on a school outing to chester zoo. i had my little packed lunch, but i couldn't tell you what was in it. there is actually very little i remember from that day, except for about 20 minutes that have burned themselves into my memory forever.

walking around, looking at the animals(as one does in a zoo), with my mate jamie and his mum, who was there as a parent supervisor. we stopped to look at the monkeys, who were in the middle of eating their lunch.
the monkeys didn't like being watched.
one particularly evil little bastard reached a paw up to its mouth and extracted a large lump of slimy, viscous, half-chewed banana, which it then threw at us.
it hit me right in the face. some of it went into my mouth.
after 5 minutes of vomiting and a further 10 minutes of retching, i was led to a bench, where i sat sobbing my little heart out. it truly was horrific.
this is why, even now, the mere smell of bananas makes me nauseous.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 16:39, 5 replies)

You got off lightly, y'know.
They normally throw shit and have a deadly aim.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 17:34, closed)

i wouldn't want to eat that, either

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 17:39, closed)

This might not be your cup of tea then
www.b3ta.com/questions/foodsabotage/post249354
( Ghoti Fingers, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 20:05, closed)

i might have to try that
but i'd put gloves on first
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 20:15, closed)

No. no
Peas aren't fruit.
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 23:05, closed)