Aw, bless your little heart
You remind me of my flatmate. He had a similar attitude towards the little pink anorak until one day - after shagging a particularly ropey French bird - he was diagnosed with HPV and chlamydia. Chlamydia you can cure with antibiotics, but each of the 100+ warts that sprouted all over his cock and balls had to be frozen off with an injection of liquid nitrogen at its base. All without anaesthetic. Now *that* was a magnificent time to be smug and self righteous.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:28, 1 reply)

i hope you nicknamed him cauliflower cock

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:46, closed)

Haha, we called him far worse than that
Especially about a month later, after his bits had all healed up and he'd stopped punching himself repeatedly in the head, when he didn't come home from a party one night. The next day we went to lunch with some friends and he regaled us all with the story of how he'd pulled some Peruvian chick straight off the boat. In his own words: "I even put it in her ass, and the best thing - I didn't have to use a condom!"
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:51, closed)