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This is a question Cunning Plans

I once devised a totally foolproof cunning plan to attract the attention of bikini-clad women, which - as you might imagine - failed miserably. Ever come up with a cunning plan for something? Did it work? What went wrong? Do you look back through the filter of the years with a burning sense of shame?

Suggested by Ring of Fire

(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 11:57)
Pages: Popular, 4, 3, 2, 1

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Dammit
Like a lot of fellow B3tans I work in a job that I hate. I work in the creative department for a pretty well known agency that was at one time the best in its field (Will not name it on here as I know a few of the higher ups definitely check up on this sort of thing). Few years back we had a bit of an internal dispute, seriously it looked like there was going to be an internal takeover but that never happened. After the restructure I was labeled as one that would be likely to back the losing team (despite being one of the bystanders that did sod all) and was demoted into a position I hate immensely, seriously the place I’m at hasn’t got any air conditioning installed and that’s not what you need when you are a guy like me (Yes I know man the hell up etc etc).

After a brief period of time I decided that I wanted out but this place has a pretty nasty policy of making sure you have virtually no chance of doing anything in the same industry should you leave. I wanted to get out and thankfully I saw a way that may help. I contacted two guys who were ex employees and therefore were looking for a way back into the industry and using my persuasive skills managed to get them to find a way to easily reapply and successfully attain jobs at our firm and therefore ruin the bosses hiring and firing policy- hopefully showing anyone else out there that they shouldn’t take our companies word as gospel.

Naturally I didn’t want to be the caught anywhere near the two when this whole thing went off so sent them the info anonymously and spoke to them about keeping it under their hats when I did see them in passing (I mentioned that I had heard something about it from some of the lads at work when they asked me about how I knew of it).

Everything seemed to be going ok, the only thing I didn’t realise was that I underestimated the people that didn’t like me and I got my ass handed to me by that fat git with a blessed golf club. I blame the fact that I was concentrating on the stripper with no genitals that looked like Salma Hayek. She was a cow, hot but still a cow.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 15:18, 9 replies)
Anybody?

(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 15:36, closed)
Ha ha nice!

(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 15:42, closed)
Whatever this is
I haven't seen it.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 15:45, closed)

www.imdb.com/title/tt0120655/
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 15:46, closed)
Ah, thanks.

(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 16:03, closed)
I fucking love this film.

(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 15:46, closed)
Well wrote!
"It's like I'm Han, you're Chewie, she's Ben Kenobi and we're in that fucked-up bar!"
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 15:56, closed)
At least it isn't Star Wars.
You're still a bellend, though.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 16:46, closed)
Cheers
(Grins)
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 9:43, closed)

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