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This is a question Other people's diaries

Never read other people's diaries and email - you'll never find anything nice in there. If it's not just slagging you off, it'll be sordid fantasies you really didn't want to know about, yet have to keep to yourself so as not to reveal how you found out.

So. What have you read 'accidentally' recently?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2007, 15:03)
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Oh god, no
Not really paper diary stuff but more contents of hard drive stuff.

After twatting round the world as a jumped up consultant I slipped into semi retirement in the Peoples Republic of Cornwall and got me a little computer shop. Pint, pasty and an easy life.

Anyhow, part of my "services" to the local retardery (pedants are particularly welcome to "fuck off" at any lexical or syntactical errors) was to copy the contents of their old hard drive over to their new, inferior quality yet overpriced PC.

My favourite inbreds, in no particular order, include:

- Mr. "X". A 78 year old gentlemen who, after asking me to help download the contents of a digital camera he had bought from me, glossed over the images of his ancient yet hairy and slightly rancid balls sticking out the side of an electric pink thong.

- Mrs. "Y" who took it on herself to sue me for placing copious amounts of pornography on her partners computer whilst it was in for repair. The judge saw the funny side however when I pointed out that the person wearing the lingerie in many of the pictures was indeed Mr. "Y", a noteable transvestite of this parish, and several emails in his Outlook Express were from his "partner" whom he was arranging to meet at the local glory hole.

- Mr. "Z". A particularly ingenious Chav who had kindly photographed all his stolen booty to put on ebay and placed it in "c:\nicked", including three pictures of the camcorder I had stolen from my shop two weeks earlier.

- Mr. "mongthemerciless". An irate computer shop owner that uploaded copious amounts of donkey cock to a chav's PC before calling the police and pointing out its illegal nature.

The amount of husband/wife pron and saucy emails in Outlook was ridiculous.

Loads of length and girth there.
(, Mon 5 Feb 2007, 18:27, closed)

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