Whilst not my
Biggest disappointment, it's a bit rubbish when the QOTW is slow on a Monday.

Especially after I've been away from my dear, sweet b3ta for an entire weekend...
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:28, 168 replies)

'lo kaol!
*waves*

good weekend?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:32, closed)

I had an fantastic weekend
Thank you!

The only bad bit was the train journey.
Other than that, I had a great time, did some drinking, went for a walk in the New Forest, some more drinking, and other stuff too, was great!

How about you?
EDIT: Hungover eh?
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:34, closed)

*waves at K and HLT*
Oh good, there are people here.

Good weekends? ,)
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:34, closed)

"and other stuff too" Sniggers
Glad you had a good one.

*waves to HLT*

I'm off to work now, what's the betting there'll be no one about when I get back?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:35, closed)

Ah, I was beginning to feel lonely!
Ningles all!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:36, closed)

So once again,
I've jumped in and saved the day.
By creating a wonderful post.
You fucking parasites.
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:37, closed)

Hi, I'm here as usual.
God, I need some excitement.
( girlinthehole, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:37, closed)

BGB
I can sell you some "excitement".
You could get arrested for it though.

EDIT: Good morning DiT, Becky and BGB.
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:39, closed)

Oh go on then
let's all get arrested. Sounds like more fun than being at work.
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:44, closed)

Morning Everyone
It was a bit slow here over the weekend.
I stupidly got hammered while on antibiotics so well into the second day of hangover:(
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:44, closed)

Hahah
Believe me, being arrested isn't fun! ;)

Unless we're gonna be arrested by the sexy police!

*benny hills*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:45, closed)

I'vr only got one more week
Of work!
Wooooooo!

Then I'm moving to an identical job, which is nearer to home, and pays 50p more an hour.

Morning BK!
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:46, closed)

DiT
The sexy police?

If you're ever selling tickets for a day inside your head, I'll buy one.
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:47, closed)

*waves at everyone*
Yay, a homesweethome thread!

I went to a wedding and ended up drinking till 3am with the bride, groom and best man. It was awesome. Bit tired now though.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:48, closed)

I can't get arrested because I want to move to America.
I'm going to have trouble getting in as it is.
( girlinthehole, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:49, closed)

I wasn't online much over the weekend. Mixture of social obligations and illness.
so I'm catching up on reading all these answers.

Hopefully, by the time I get to the newest page, things will have picked up again, and I can avoid work all the way 'til 5pm.
( Thinker, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:50, closed)

BGB
Well you won't want me selling these photos then.

You know the drill.
Brown paper bag, used notes.
Midnight, behind the box.
I'll be the hyena, you'll see.
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:53, closed)

BGB
Where in the US?

I'd love to go but will never cope with two weeks of leave per year.
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:54, closed)

@BGB
That is so cool! (you moving to america that is).

don't they like piercings over there?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:56, closed)

Morning all
Proper conversation* will appear when I get a minute.

*i.e my usual crap
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 10:56, closed)

yay, miss 'crenne!
how are you chick?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:00, closed)

Ancrenne...
I'm not sure about that...
I'd say my weekend more than made up for it.

I mean, not having a Bloody Mary for breakfast today was a disappointment.
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:01, closed)

Morning all
Weekend travel sucks, or at least it seemed to this weekend.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:01, closed)

PoD!
Back from Ireland?
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:03, closed)

bollocks
someone came in just now. I turn back round to my screen and the "you are replying to this question" box is here. Am I? Am I replying to this question? I can't remember! Argh!

Edit: that's right, I was going to say "PoD! Yay! how are you?"

PoD!

Yay!

How are you?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:05, closed)

I am indeed back from Ireland
And my flight was delayed by 4 and a half hours.

There's really very little to do in Belfast airport for that long.

edit:

Hi HLT!!! I am the goods, but am still recovering from not really sleeping much and having to be up for a long time. Stupid getting-up-early-for-a-flight.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:07, closed)

PoD
Masturbate yourself to a foaming, howling frenzy in the toilets?

Craft a vicious-looking knife from kit-kat wrappers?
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:10, closed)

More along the lines of
- Sleep like a hobo on a bench
- Watch a film on my laptop
- Have lunch at Burger King*
- Play arcade games
- Sleep like a hobo some more
- Complain a lot

*Awful. Truely awful.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:11, closed)

@Clendrix
Not sure yet. Very early days. They might not let me in.
( girlinthehole, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:12, closed)

Blurgh
BurgerKing should be renamed BurgerPeasant since its food is not kingly in any way.

Did you not visit a Maud's Icecream outlet?

I have a cute image of a penguin kipping on a bench now. Wearing a woooly hat, all curled up, dreaming about fish.

/need sleep.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:13, closed)

@ Clendrix...
Always on sale. Beware though, it's like a bad hybrid of a Warner Brothers cartoon and British comedy from the 70's. :)

Morning to those I haven't said morning to yet!

*longs to be sat in a park*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:17, closed)

Mmmmm
Yeah, got some Maud's Ice Cream, it was goooood. Very good. Apart from the sand blowing onto it and making it a little bit crunchy.

And I was in fact wearing my hat while I slept. Don't remember dreaming about fish though.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:17, closed)

I've just been handed a soft toy
Is it a kitten?
Is it a rabbit?
Is it a bear with a dodgy sexual history?
Is it, oh please dear god with fingers crossed and a cherry on top, a penguin?

Noooo....

Get the bombs! Get the knives! The human race has finally outstupided itself...

It's a printer.

Yes, a printer.

Made of soft. It's got eyes. It's got arms. It's got enormous feet, which I was sure were not part of a printer's anatomy. It's blue and yellow. It's waving at me.

And what is it's name?

Go on, have a guess...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:21, closed)

PoD
I once got thrown out of a massive arcade in London for being "over-excited"...

I'd been drinking...
Some mates and I decided to go play House Of The Dead.
The first one.
I've played that game so damn much, I rock at it.

I shouldn't have started screaming foul language at the zombies at the top of my voice.

I also shouldn't have pointed the plastic gun at the security man that came over to ask me to leave.

*shrugs*
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:23, closed)

Is it called
Printy?

or

Terence the Retard Faced Printer?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:23, closed)

^Is it...
Nathan?
( girlinthehole, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:23, closed)

Is he called Printy?
The Bold Little Printer That Could?

Perhaps he's SuperPrint! There was a problem in manufacture, so he was cast away like a piece of old rubbish. He was rescued, however, by a spotty man... I'd better stop before I infringe any more copyrights...

Yo Ancrenne! Park at lunchtime it is!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:24, closed)

Good guesses, but no
Although I am going to rename him Terence the Retard Face Printer, which made me giggle, thank you Mr ofDeath.

His name is Phil. Phil McCartridge (this being Scotland).
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:26, closed)

@PoD
At least in Belfast, you're in Britain. It's even worse if you're stuck in an overseas airport for ages with many hours of foreign things-not-to-do.

And I count the US as foreign. American airports are awful.

@HLT - Frank? (If you used him for printing postage...)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:26, closed)

^Snorts^
Not Phil McCavity then?
( girlinthehole, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:27, closed)

Yay, I'm awesome
And that is a truly awful name. Truly awful.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:27, closed)

Actually, I like ALL of the names you have all suggested
So I'm going to pretend I'm a chavvy wag with a newborn brat, and name him all the names you suggested, in manner of crazed football fan's stupid wife.

If he's still alive by then, I'll bring him with me in April.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:29, closed)

Mornin' my pretties
Last night at around 2:30, I got an e-mail back from one of the companies I applied to. I usually start my covering-letter with "Dear Sir/Madam". The reply just said "No sir or madams here". I immediately replied "Just the company I'm looking for then".
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:31, closed)

'lo spakka
What, are they all talking badgers or something?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:33, closed)

Morning all
How goeth it?
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:34, closed)

@K2k6
are you being contentious? ;)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:35, closed)

*whispers* Morning
Feeling a little fragile here....

It was a rather action packed weekend.

for 'action packed' read 'wine filled'
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:36, closed)

@ Devil
I just got your TuperSed ref. hee hee!

*dohs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:36, closed)

@hlt
Phil McCartridge? Dear God.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:39, closed)

Morning Spakkers
I guess these aren't applications for sex industry jobs then?
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:40, closed)

No Sirs or Madams here...
We Are All Individuals. Yes We Are! :)

Mornin', MM & Chickenlady!

*passes Chickenlady some Lucozade*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:41, closed)

morning MM
*whispers*
Morning chickenlady...

@BK. Exactly.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:41, closed)

I've just been eating
Pistachios.
There are three left that I can't open.

Even with my knife.

I tried hitting them with a chunk of toughened glass, but one of them shot across the room and hit my mate.

Help!
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:43, closed)

I have just had coffee and toast
I think I'm beginning to come round now.

Soon I'll have to jump in my car and go home...
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:43, closed)

Glad you lot had wonderful weekends.
Mornin' MM and PoultryMadame.

Re: Sexy police? Do they have big truncheons?

@HLT & ancrenne: If there's much room in the company, I can sneak in un-noticed.

@HLT: Why not call the printer Jet McSquirtypumps.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:44, closed)

I have a friend who is a policeman
He's always suggesting to anyone female that he show them his truncheon.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:46, closed)

@ Kaol
stamp on their little pistachio faces.

that should persuade them.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:47, closed)

@CHCB
Not at all.

Northern Ireland is part of the UK. It may be populated by people who pronounce the 'ow' sound in an unusual way, but it's still British. Officially, at least. :-)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:48, closed)

@spakka
That's a better name.
Phil Mccartrisge doesn't work. Shit pun, and surely you insert a new cartridge into the cartridge slot, not fill one that's already in there? Advertising twats.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:49, closed)

@ spakka
OOooh sneaking! yay!

Good name, although I might change it to Squirty McPumpjet, which seems to trip off the tongue easily.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:49, closed)

@K2k6
It's the official bit that's contentious!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:51, closed)

HLT
I tried that, and it kinda hurt, I'm wearing very thin-soled canvas shoes.
*frowns*
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:52, closed)

.
Yay! I like companies where I'm an individual.

@Kaol: Your pistachio nut dilema reminds me of this.

@Tulip: I was assuming it was an inkjet printer. But I like Squirty McPumpjet.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:53, closed)

Right peoples
I must away home now.

Maybe catch up with you all later.

Bye.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:53, closed)

wait...
it's the United Kingdon of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

My Belfastian chum goes mad if anyone says he's British.

edit: I love how angry this printer thing has made BK - I think we've ruined his day!
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:54, closed)

@clendrix
I used to live with some lads from Derry.
And it WAS Derry, never Londonderry. Woe betide anyone who made that mistake.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:55, closed)

Another London Minibash
As you all know, I'm thinking of coming over to England for the July 26th Exeter bash. Sometime in the week before (or even the week after), I'll be in London.

Anyone up for a London minibash during the week?

EDIT: Bye chickenlady
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:56, closed)

bye miss chicken
safe journey and all that
*waves*

Right, I must go too, for I have to learn about how to do websites.

Back later

*trudges away*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:56, closed)

Spak
not the weekend before, but any day in the week starting 21st...
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 11:57, closed)

.
@Tulip: Websites are easy to do as long as you keep them simple and don't make them all fancy. Plus you'll learn how to do proper hyperlinks.
Have fun.

@clendrix: My plans are very much up in the air but I was thinking of the Tuesday (22) or Wednesday (23) of the week before.

@ancrenne: Have fun looking into gussets.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 12:02, closed)

I want to look at gussets!
*sulks*

Mr Spak - I'll keep those days free and you can let us know.
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 12:06, closed)

NI
Hmm, so right enough, 'British' isn't really technically correct. But it is part of the UK.

@clendrix - you have to be careful with (London)Derry. It depends who you're speaking to! Both sides are equally adamant, in my experience.

Not that I'm really bothered much anyway, to be honest. It's not my country/province, so who am I to say how it's run?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 12:11, closed)

I've just decided that
Although mammals, are, on the whole, rubbish, Pangolins are the best mammals.
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 12:12, closed)

@Kaol
Have you tried a vice?

Or is it like with mussels - you know, if they won't open they must be off?

I had an embarrassing pistachio experience once, at a conference, where I chucked a handful of nuts in my mouth without realising they were unshelled pistachios.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 12:13, closed)

.
I'm writing my story for this week so may be a bit slow here. Actually, it's more a re-write of an e-mail I sent my friends ages ago, but it's a long 'un.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 12:28, closed)

^*looks forward to Spakka's tale!*
Cripes it's hot! Stupid no air conditioning!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 12:31, closed)

*sneaks back in*
*catches up*
*giggles at thought of K2k6 with his mouth full of nuts*
*wants pangolin*
*wafts cool air at Devil*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 12:37, closed)

Yes!
Pangolins are amazing.
They look like something from Star Wars.
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 12:39, closed)

*reclines*
Ah, that's better. Peel me a grape would you?

*transports back to ancient rome*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 12:42, closed)

I discovered the nut problem quickly enough
and my mate helpfully pointed out my faux pas by saying, "You daft bastard, they're pistachios!"

"nggg-I mmmknow fffthat nmnm-now", I replied, looking around for some way out of the situation.

I sidled back up to the buffet table, grabbed a napkin or two, discreetly* spat the nuts out into it and casually* stuffed the package into a convenient hedge.

*probably not, because there was drink involved too.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 12:42, closed)

I just posted this somewhere else
But this is my thread, so I can do what I want here...

Too many people, not enough fuel

K-Tech Industries^TM present the bio-diesel-homebrew-kit.
Has you child died a twisting, horrible death? Shove it in the vat with the potato-peelings from dinner last night, and your lastest dose of "solid waste".
Crank up the pressure, and after 48 hours, you'll have sweet, fumey diesel-goodness to run your car.

Order now and get a free tub of "Space Wax"!
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 12:44, closed)

@Kaol
With your knife skills, you could furnish yourself with a ready supply of biofuel, and combat the population crisis simultaneously.

And with that murderous thought, I'm off down town for half an hour.

Later, y'all.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 12:49, closed)

*dons toga*
*peels grapes*
*quaffs wine*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 13:02, closed)

Fuel
Solar Power FTW!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 13:11, closed)

Fuel
Mars bars.

Mmmm.
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 13:30, closed)

Solar power
would work perfectly and be a great solution to the energy crisis, if:

1 - it becomes economically viable, which it won't until the price of oil gets much higher than it is currently (although with the rate of increase it may be sooner than previously thought);
2 - we can find some efficient way of storing the energy. Pump storage reservoirs are a good interim solution, but suitable sites in the Sahara desert are hard to come by; or
3 - we develop a global power grid, such that some part of the sunlit side of the earth is generating power.

Until then, it's not going to happen.

Nuclear fusion (essentially locally manufactured, small scale solar power, in a way) would be another great solution, as there's plenty of deuterium around. But it's been 50 years in the future for the past 50 years. And even though the ITER project is coming along nicely, it's not going to be a commercial reality for a long time.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 13:39, closed)

Oh.
*feels ashamed of facetious mars bar comment*
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 13:46, closed)

No need for shame, clendrix
Mars bars are tasty delicious human fuel-stuffs.

We can't eat solar power (well, ultimately we do, given that plants photosynthesise, etc, etc, but you know what I mean).
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 13:48, closed)

Oh dear...
I go for lunch and everything goes sensible...

On a serious note though, if all of the organic matter that's put into landfills every year was processed into bio-diesel, that'd be a fuck-load of sustainably-sourced fuel.
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:02, closed)

You could also
shit in trenches in your garden, and then plant potatoes in them.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:11, closed)

Heheh pootatoes.
Afternoon all!
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:17, closed)

hahaha!
pootatoes!

I like that!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:19, closed)

Woo, 100!
I think?

*checks*

Indeedy.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:19, closed)

101!
Put stuff you don't like in me!









Hang on a minute...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:36, closed)

^ Okay
*stuffs a Scotch Egg into DiT*

*followed by a jar of marmite*

*apologises to K2k6, but really, mate, that's not food!*

Edit: afternoon all
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:38, closed)

DiT...
I don't like bees...
*grabs bee-syringe*
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:39, closed)

I don't like potatoes
grown in K2k6's poo.

Inserts into DiT's space.
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:40, closed)

@ Kaol
Oi, put my bees back! Bees are nice!

I don't like football.

*puts all of football in DiT*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:44, closed)

stopitstopitstopit...
I IZ FULL OF BAD THINGS!

Except Bees. Bees FTW. *fires bees back out.*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:44, closed)

Fine HLT...
Have you bees back.

I worry that this'll be the straw that breaks the camel's back, but I don't like Polar Bears, horses or pandas.

*grabs lube*

*shoves*
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:46, closed)

*gathers bees*
come here, bees. come away from the nasty man.

*soothes bees*

*steals honey*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:47, closed)

Kaol!
Stop it! There's a lot to get in there.

*shoves in robert mugabe*
*shoves in celery*
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:47, closed)

Mushrooms and the Polyphonic Spree.
Enjoy!
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:49, closed)

*grabs celery*
Noooo!
What other turgid, ridged kind of stem will I dip languidly into my wet, red and salty Bloody Mary?
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:49, closed)

While we're at it (fnarp)
*gets Squirty McPumpjet/Terence the Retard Faced Printer*
*gets fuel tax*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:49, closed)

Oh God
*collapses*

My, that's awfully keen...

*evacuates*

Right. I'm purged now. I'm just not man enough to contain all the evils of the world.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:54, closed)

*watches celery come back out*
well, rhubarb's going in then
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:54, closed)

Wales.
This one might sting a bit.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:54, closed)

I don't like
Crickets.
And sand.
All the sand...
*pours*
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:54, closed)

DiT
What a kind thing you did.

I hope your tights are OK.
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 14:58, closed)

@clendrix
If rhubarb has the usual effect, it'll be straight back out again!

Edit - *inserts Gordon Brown and black olives into DiT's anal passage*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:01, closed)

Stop stuffing things in me!
I am not some kind of sexual plaything. And my tights are ruined.

*smokes cigarette*

EDIT: I'm about to achieve maximum capacity. I may explode soon...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:02, closed)

Well, you did offer!
I've got some spare tights. You may have them if you wish.

Or you could just put a banana costume on, and we'll fill that?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:07, closed)

Hang on a second,
is there room for the French?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:08, closed)

Even I've got *some* standards, Wookie.
My anus is no place for the French. And let that be an end of it.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:10, closed)

Yes, all is 'normal'
DiT seems to have put on an awful lot of weight, but it's for the good of us all.
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:19, closed)

Possibly I should have been more specific,
what I really meant was family holidays in Wales, every Easter until I was 16, that involved climbing big hills in the rain all day every day, notably once culminating in a week's hospitalisation for pneumonia.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:19, closed)

'Noon, Acrenne!
I'd rather you didn't join in with the jovial, carnival atmosphere the shoving of unwanted or unliked things up me has created.

If I'd of known my arse could make so many happy, I'd have gone on the game...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:19, closed)

Nothing wrong with the welsh
but they may be better in DiT.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:21, closed)

Right. That's it.
*eats prunes and bran*

*has a catastrophic emptying of internal cavity - taking with it Scotch Eggs, Marmite, Potatoes, Football, Polar Bears, Horses, Pandas, Robert Mugabe, Celery, Mushrooms, The Polyphonic Spree, Crickets, Sand, Gordon Brown, Black Olives and Wales.*

*Feels better*

Am I sad for wanting to buy the new Neil Diamond album?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:31, closed)

DiT
Yes, you are.
I, on the other hand, am cool for wanting to buy the new Sigur Ros album.
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:36, closed)

*pokes tongue out*
Well, I'm sad, then.







*cries*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:38, closed)

DiT
No, you're not sad.
And neither am I, because the rhubarb didn't come back out.

*wins*
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:43, closed)

Ha!
Nor did fuel tax or Squirty McPumpjet

*wins twice*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:45, closed)

I miss Squirty
and we never even got a chance to meet him.
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:46, closed)

I'm not sure
you'd want to, now...

RIP Squirty.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:55, closed)

Possibly not
no.
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 15:59, closed)

*strains*
Aaaaand there's rhubarb, squirty and road tax!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:01, closed)

Damn
*picks up rhubarb*
*decides it's now worse than usual*
*throws it at kaol*
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:04, closed)

Oi!
I don't actually mind rhubarb.
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:10, closed)

@Kaol
I like rhubarb too, but I don't much fancy it if it's been up DiT's arse.

Especially seeing as Gordon Brown was there too.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:11, closed)

Rhubarb crumble is pretty nice,
as long as no-one comes near it with custard.

/controversial
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:12, closed)

@wookie
That's sacrilege! Everybody knows you must have custard with rhubarb crumble.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:16, closed)

*agrees with wgw*
custard is just wrong.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:18, closed)

yay HLT!
I thought I was the only one...

It's a lonely world, surrounded by the custard-loving wrong 'uns.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:21, closed)

I hate custard too.
And baked beans.

Yuck.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:23, closed)

I stand firmly
in the 'custard with rhubard crumble' camp.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:30, closed)

Hmm
*now realises why feet are sticking to floor*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:38, closed)

Mine's a long one
I've posted my story for this week. I should warn you, it's massive!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:39, closed)

@ancrenne
Glad to hear my length is exceeding expectations. Perhaps I could do some research into your pants.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:48, closed)

Spak!
I'm gonna print this mofo off and read it on the way to class.
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:51, closed)

* slaps own wrist *
Bad Spakka! Bad Spakka!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:56, closed)

Sigh
perhaps there will be some room swapping in Exeter - you three in one and me in the other!
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:57, closed)

Clendrix
I don't think so...
I don't like to share :p
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:59, closed)

@Ancrenne
I may be back on later, it depends on when I manage to prise myself away from the pub.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 17:01, closed)

Great
I get to share a room with the guy who just posted a 14 A4 page answer to QOTW (yes, I just printed it out).

I'll be around briefly later, so I'll call in and see who's around. Off to class now - see y'all soon!
( thealternativefact, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 17:02, closed)

See ya C
Hmmm... lacy panties...

I might be around in the evening.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 17:05, closed)

@ancrenne
In that case, I'll synchronise my fix with yours.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 17:19, closed)

OK then. Catch ya later.

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 17:25, closed)

I'm off now too
I'll be back about 1, possibly drunk.

*waves*

Bye!
( Cawl, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 17:28, closed)

Bye K

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 17:32, closed)

pub pub pub
see you later :)
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 17:43, closed)

.
.
Chat continues here
.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 21:59, closed)