50s Party
A friend of mine decided to have a 50s themed, Grease style party for her birthday. I couldn't find anything I wanted to wear, so a friend of mine whipped up a 50s style skirt for me, red with music notes on it, which I wore with a white shirt, red shoes and white ankle socks. Good for the theme of the party, not so good when you have to walk through Lincoln town centre on what ended up being probably the busiest Saturday afternoon EVER. I think I got more funny looks in that one day than I've had in my entire life
(The Who Bird is eating Jaffa Cakes on, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 12:22, Reply)

Amnesiac Playboy Centrefold
While travelling in America, I stopped overnight in some backwater motel on Route 66. There was a minor crash that night and I was the only one to rush to the driver's aid.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered her to be a blonde with a stupendous body. She was unconscious. I carried her - apparently unhurt - to my room and undressed her before bathing her brow with a moistened towel until she came round. Naked, she was the masturbatory fantasy of every man: large, perfect breasts, flared hips, smooth abdomen, long legs and a full Brazilian wax.

She remembered nothing - even to the extent of not knowing which country she was in. Indeed, she had reverted to a childlike innocence. Her clothes had been ripped in the crash and so I'd thrown them out. What would she wear?

I would have to make clothes for her.

Taking advantage of her amnesiac state, I managed to persuade her that it was common to wear only the skimpiest attire. I made her a micro skirt from a sheet, and a rudimentary bra from a broad belt. Underwear, I informed her, did not exist. Needless to say, she was barely covered by the clothes I made her, with every gesture revealing swathes of taboo flesh.

She said she'd like to travel with me and so we moved from motel to motel, her sitting beside me in the convertible I'd rented and wearing only the flimsiest clothing I'd fashioned for her. Sometimes the wind would carry away her 'bra', or her 'skirt'would ride up to reveal her unclothed womanhood.

For weeks we moved anonymously across towards the west. The only thing she recalled from before the crash was an ungovernable lust for hot sex of every variety. Often, we'd stop the car and rut madly in the back seat, or she'd blow me as I drove happily along. It was a period of bliss.

It all ended when we pulled up for petrol and I saw her face and body on a copy of Playboy magazine. She'd been Playmate of the Month just recently. On seeing the picture, her memories flooded back and she said she'd have to return to that life.

She wasn't bitter or resentful. In fact, she treated me to one more night of bestial passion during which we engaged in every conceivable permutation of human sexuality. Not an orifice was left unpenetrated.

I still have one of her 'skirts' and use it for my own pleasure.
(frankspencer, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 12:21, Reply)

70's disco fool...
Wore a home made badge of Gary Glitter's grinning pedo-smile. It was about 5 inches in diameter (the badge, that is...ahem).
Went through the Bay City Rollers phase and sewed tartan strips to the bottom of my very flared jeans.
Too poor to buy a "Budgie" jacket and sewed bits of coloured material onto another jacket and thought I was cool, until I got laughed at at the school disco.
Had a black cap sleeve T shirt with glittery transfer letters spelling out "Disco Dynamite" because I thought I really was.
Wore a white chiffon neckscarf - on my wrist.
Had an Ace Of Hearts playing card potruding from the back pocket of my very tight shiny black disco trousers (good grief - I didn't even any pubes and I'm the 'Ace Of Hearts'?!)
And talking of pubes - it was very cool to have armpit hair and my cap sleeved T shirt clearly showed I had none (late developer) so I superglued some black cat hair to my armpits to prove my manhood.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 12:18, Reply)

Last year of School, aged 17 going on 18...
Black combats
White t-shirt
Black leather jacket
Black Cat boots
Black Shades
and one kick ass slash-back hair-do.

My hair would normally have been down to my chin but I decided to gel it up and comb it back in the slickest 'do possible.

I looked like a dodgy used-car salesman.

My mates called me Mr Slick.

Did I become ashamed about my choice of slyle?
NO
Fuck them I thought and kept the image for the whole year until the leavers dance. Whereupon I changed it to look much like I do now.


Damn I loved those days!!!

[cock comment] My cock still works [cock comment]
( diablo290582 Professional.....something., Fri 25 Aug 2006, 12:17, Reply)

Me too :(
Datcat, I feel your pain. I too wore thick black tights with white ankle socks.

But what did I wear them with?

Black sleeveless t-shirt, white denim hotpants, aforementioned black tights and white socks, then black trainers.

I thought I looked so cool :(

F x
(Flurble - The Innocent One, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 12:16, Reply)

Stone the Crow!
A few years back a friend had a 21st birthday that co-incided with Halloween. So he decided to have a fancy dress themed party in the Mabbs Cross club in my home town of Wigan
I went as the Crow and we all had a good time in the private function room that his 21st was held in. At 12AM we headed into the club that is attached to the place. Now this club is frequented with some right chavtastic people and they really couldn't figure out that it was Halloween and we were in fancy dress.
The list of things that happened were as followed.....one girl wanted me to go out with her mate as she 'loves them goths!'. A few lads threatened to kick my head in because 'They don't like my types in their club'. And we did a quick exit when my missus was topping my black lipstick up and the whole club looked like it was going to lynch us. I love chavs me. :)
Also when we got the photos back I realised I wasn't quite as Brandon Lee-esque as I thought I was and I'd actually come across as a slightly overweight Alice Cooper. Lovely.

When I was younger I went to a fancy dress party at a club I was a member of dressed as the Karate Kid. Well, I say Karate Kid. I actually had my pyjamas on because they had some japanese symbols on (you know the type with the flap in the front of the trousers) and being young I didn't think to wear underwear so my knob kept coming out (I could have used this for the perv story last week). And a length of plaster of paris bandage wrapped around my head with some blue pen on for his bandana. Lovely, the sweat caused the plaster of paris to stick to my head and hair and itched to buggery.

One halloween as a kid I went trick or treating as a ninja. When I say ninja, I mean I had a balaclava and a pool cue. Funnily enough lots of money got handed over that night.
( Evil Bastardo, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 11:53, Reply)

Good in principle or something
When in college a friend of mine who went into the marines gave me a pair of his camo pants. I took to wearing them regularly, partly on the principle that they were a gift from a friend, and partly because they were comfortable and had a million handy pockets.

At a later point, I spent a summer in a very small town in Wisconsin. This was such a Leave-it-to-Beaver place that the town jail just hung the inmate's clothes out to dry on a clothesline. One night while feeling particularly punk rock (and bored from lack of alcobooze) I managed to muster enough courage to steal one of the orange shirts, woo.

So, next fall there I was, proudly walking about campus with my baggy green army pants and flimsy, bright orange shirt. Ohh, LSD, how you did warp my sense of normalcy. :/
( Pee-Bob, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 11:51, Reply)

Oh dear...
When I was about 12 my younger cousin, who was about 5 at the time, thought that playing Doctors and Nurses was the best thing ever. Because her parents are filthy stinking rich, she had the snazziest Doctors and Nurses kit ever, complete with...a full nurses outfit. Which she made me wear when I was looking after her (our parents were off getting pissed in the other room). I think it was my Aunty who spotted me wearing this outfit and secretly got her camera and took photos. Lots of them. And got them copied lots. They've since appeared at every social gathering known to humanity, including my 18th birthday party. The worst thing about these photographs is that, when one of them was taken, my cousin had nipped off to grab something from her toy cupboard (not box, cupboard). So it looks like I'm dressed in a childs nurses costume playing with a plastic stethescope of my own accord. And no matter how much I burn these pics, someone always finds a new one. Dammit
(The Who Bird is eating Jaffa Cakes on, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 11:50, Reply)

HahaDIY
I wear jeans i've ripped myself..

I also wear skinny jeans.. I'm a lad.
(comrade^, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 11:47, Reply)

Ahoy anyone from leeds!
If you come from leeds, you will no doubt be aware of the famous Otley Run, a crawl of 16 (or numbers around that figure, depending on who you are) pubs and bars, in which you must drink a pint in each, followed off by entering a nightclub. After 16 or so pints this is quite a challenge as bouncers seem to be quite aware of stupidly dressed students out of their heads. These pubs are spread over 5 miles or so and is one hell of an enjoyable, yet expensive day out.

It is tradition to do the "Run" in fancy dress. Being a poor student, improvisation is the key. I am the one in my dad's old suit, circa 1983 (before i was born) with the silly afro wig. What amazes me is that suit fits me perfectly, although im a good 3 inches taller than my dad. God knows what he was doing back then!

Click here for the piccy! (opens in new window, yes thats right, I am a HTML coding genius!!) and if your feeling kind, leave a comment below it!

Ta,

Stevio

p.s. there's a little button down below that says "I like this" if you click it, you will be über cool.
(stevio is on the prowl for a girlfriend!, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 11:43, Reply)

Fashion disasters....
....rather than fancy dress costumes?

Well, I have a couple - I'll post them one at a time.

As a teenage metalhead I spent a lot of time watching bands in various pubs around Essex. De rigeur attire at the time was black jeans, boots or trainers, and either a suitably paisley/flowered/skulls/no-dad* type shirt or band t-shirt.

Except that I decided to complement this with a jacket. A double-breasted suit jacket, made out of that shiny checked material so beloved of '80s advertising execs. I looked cool, it added an edge to my look, and made me stand out from the crowd.

Until one day my mate Leo, who played at the time in a band called I2I and went on to play bass for Cathedral, looked me up and down and casually enquired "Going clubbing after the gig then?". The throng of people I was standing in chuckled, I didn't know what to say (my swearing skills were much less highly-developed then) and the jacket went in the bin that night.

Apologies for lack of humour - some of the others will be funnier, and if everyone continues to talk about fancy dress I'll post mine too:

Slipknot
Mr T
Moulin Rouge

Watch this space.



*No-dad - as per Jim Davidson: a shirt so hideously patterned the kid must have been saying "no Dad, please don't make me wear that"
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 11:41, Reply)

DIY haircut...
At my school,the teachers went through a strange vigilante phase,where they cracked down on EVERYTHING! A lot of boys had shit patterns cut in their hair,and they got told to shave it off. A few male friends of mine with long hair were told to cut it. A male mate of mine was also told off for wearing a very fetching headband...

At the time,my hair was in a shoulder length black bob (early Brian Molko style),and I was in that odd teenage 'rebel against the institution' phase. When the news about the boys being made to cut long hair got out,a rumour went round that girls hair has to be shoulder length or below. So I decided I had to cut my hair to a nice pudding-basin type thing. God it was so bad.... Still growing the damn thing out too!
(Miharu, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 11:34, Reply)

"Is that an old Halloween costume?"
There's a photo somewhere my Mum won't let me burn. I'm about three or four years old wearing bright orange trousers, enormous orange plastic jewellery and *horror of horrors* an oversized Jason Donvovan t-shirt.

Cut to a few years later, and I'd taken to rolling white knee-high school socks right down, so it formed a circular O-type-sausage around my ankle.

I also spent at least five years looking like I'd been knitted. Grandma was a knit-fanatic so nearly every photo I'm wearing chunky, lumpy home-made-by-arthritic-fingers jumpers. With shorts.

Just come back from holiday; you know on the Simpsons where Marge is in jail so Homer takes to wearing a old Halloween costume? My Dad appears to have done that. Some of the dirty clothes I've found dumped in various piles around the house include:

A M&S Noel Edmunds style jumper, circa 1991.

Not last season's, but the season before's football shirt which had accidentally been boil-washed, so the logos and adverts had all peeled off.

He'd also used my hair-dye towel as there were no more clean ones.

Sorry about the length, it's genetic.
(Lupetherabbit Went straight into smirk mode on, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 11:31, Reply)

fashion errors...
lets see:
*han solo boots aged 10. laughed at in the playground, and i stepped dog shit on the first day I wore them
*pink ripcurl windcheater with miami vice-style white jacket over the top, aged 17
even though it was the fashion at the time I felt awkward and looked like a dick
*only bloke in casual pants and tshirt at formal reception for film director at a london embassy, aged 34

but the grunge of the early '90s suited me down to the ground. Ive always been a lazy dresser, hopefully retro-grunge will come back in style
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 11:26, Reply)

Fancy Dress...
I fucking hate fancy dress and will go to any lengths to avoid dressing up thus recent efforts have included:

Pirates: printed a load of dodgy DVD covers (Kill Bil: Here Comes the Brine being a particular favourite) and went as a pirate DVD seller.

Detectives: Fake tache = Magnum

No theme: hairspray bottle down trousers + above fake tache = porn star

Minimalism rocks.
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 25 Aug 2006, 11:19, Reply)

converse
One New Years Eve I went out wearing converse boots; but I wore one red one and one blue one. Everyone pointed and laughed. Actually I'd rather not talk about it. I don't like this qotw.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 11:13, Reply)

I still look like a muppet but I can't figure out why...
I surprised my parents when I wore eyeliner on school parents evening when I was in the fourth year at school (went to boarding school)and my stepdad was all smiles until we got home where he kicked my arse. I diserved it really.

I'm a boy BTW, just a very pretty one...
(aroe_m0rre, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 11:00, Reply)

Remembered the worst one last night.


Take yourself back to 1982 if you can. Today, you can get away with wearing virtually anything you like, from Hippy to Goth to Punk to shell suit to business suit. Arse hanging out of your trousers, trousers round your knees – nothing really turns a head in the street these days. In 1982 things were different; there were postcards of London showing punks with Mohicans, skinhead haircuts were limited to thugs, not every businessman with a hair loss problem.

We had moved on from Punk, it had sold out. I was towed along in the fashion slip-stream of my best mate who had latched on to ‘New Romantics’: Ultravox, Kraftwerk, Marilyn, Steve Strange etc. Even Bowie was doing ‘Ashes to Ashes’. Anyway, we were off to some big New Romantic evening at some place in Town, Depeche Mode and Spandau Ballet were playing and some others I’ve wiped from my memory. Every poseur from a 100-mile radius would be descending on this venue, most would be dressed in the latest fashions from the cool shops in the King’s Road. Me, I couldn’t afford any of that crap so I set out to create my own ‘look’.

Trousers were the big problem. I only had two pairs, both 501s, one ‘smart’ pair and one which would actually be reasonably fashionable today if I still had them, as they were worn through in most places and sewn up (by me) in several others. Neither would do. Now, I didn’t want to spend much money (and didn’t have much) as I hadn’t really bought into the whole thing. I didn’t like the music and the poseurs made me retch. So, I went to the faithful Army Surplus shop, and bought…a pair of sailor’s trousers, those weird woollen, enourmous bell-bottomed ones. I got them home and tried them on, they looked shite.

Shirt: my Dad (bless him) was in the Rag Trade and had acquired a great shirt. It was dark bottle green rough silk and very baggy. I tried it with the trousers – better, but still shite. Then I had a brain wave, I’d take in the bottom of the trouser legs to create a winter-wear-for-the-hareem look. Genius, I got out the old needle and thread and got to work.

Hair: only one thing to do with my very average, no longer Punk short hair, plenty of Vaseline all over and comb it into a Rock-a-billy quiff.

Face: out with the make-up (can’t for the life of me remember where this came from). Lots of Goth like eye-liner, possible some green eye-shadow too.

Shoes: no choice, it had to be the black 10-hole DMs, I didn’t have any other footware.

Overall effect: God alone knows, but looking back through the mists of time I THINK I must have looked like Tintin with a bad hangover after sleeping in his clothes all night.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 10:03, Reply)

lumberjack shirts
i had a whole fucking wardrobe of them
why?
some of them were padded!
i hate myself now

my boss is in a cnut of a mood, and im going to be stuck in a car with her for the whole day and all i want to do is put her over my knee
(kaptinkurtz, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 9:41, Reply)

I made my own giant squid costume.
But I only came second in the fancy dress competition.


( giant_squid, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 8:53, Reply)

Tragic haircut mistake
Back in the early 80's when I was a mere youth, I decided that I wanted a mullet hairdo. This is tragic nowadays, but at the time it was cooler than an eskimos fridge. Anyways, I was a bit poor then as I had a credit card problem, so I had the genius idea of cutting my own hair with one of those razor jobbies that was always advertised in the small ads in the sunday papers. It all started well and looked quite good, until I decided that I hadn't taken enough off the front (Mullet = short at the front, long at the back). At this point, my incredibly cool, miami vice hairstyle, became a hideous mess of bald patches and long straggly bits. I looked a proper cunt, so much so that even my mum couldn't fix it, I had to grin and bear it for a few weeks until it grew back. After this it was a glorious mane of naturally curly hair. I looked like a fat Mel Gibson and was well chuffed with it.
(urgle-splurgle molesting small goats since, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 8:31, Reply)

Once upon a time
Aged approximately eleven or twelve, I wore a cravat to choir practice.

I thought I looked like the bee's bollocks.

In retrospect, the smoking jacket and opium pipe were pushing the envelope somewhat.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 7:37, Reply)

Punky Brewster

Is meant to have been abandoned by her parents, and she meets the Police Academy guy because she's squatting in the building which he manages.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 2:44, Reply)

No fair
During my second year at Uni I spent about a week making a costume for a fancy dress Christmas party (it was worth this much effort, the winning costume got £100 worth of drinks vouchers for the SU bar). I went to massive effort making a truly ace present costume. The day of the party, my terminally lazy as fuck housemate decided she wanted to tag along, but admission was strictly costume only entry, so she wandered down to the local sex shop and purchased a leather catsuit, came home, cut out a bit of black card into a rather dodgy looking mask and declared herself as catwoman. Unsurprisingly, horny student judge gives the prize to the girl who he was most turned on by, she won the drinks vouchers, and also brought the judge home for fucksies. Only consolidation was the catsuit cost her £80 and me and my other 2 housemates drank most of her winnings before she had the chance. Ha.
( emmlar is only funny 1 day in every 2467; today is not it, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 2:08, Reply)

Leggings are the devil's fashion item
When I was about 7 or 8, there was a show on television called "Punky Brewster" about a chipper wee orphan living with an old man who was the totally inept police chief in all the police academy movies. I don't remember them being related on the show, so in retrospect, it was probably a bit of a skeevy premise. Anyway, our title charachter was forever wearing multicolored leggings and short skirts layered together. When done by a professional 80s stylist, this comes out looking fabulous to an 8 year old. When said 8 year old generally is happy to throw on whatever her mother puts out, and is not particularly involved in the clothes shopping, leggings are an unknown creature. So I tried to emulate the look by piling on a T-shirt, a sundress over that, 2 belts around the middle, and 2 pairs of sweatpants on underneath - one with only one leg on, trying to stuff the other one in around the waist to achieve the 2 different colored stocking look. My mother nearly pissed herself laughing. Was too embarrassed to admit what I was trying to emulate and removed all the excess layers. Took years before I discovered what ACTUAL leggins were and why perhaps sweatpants had not achieved that same skin-tight effect. More bonus points to Mum for not telling me 5 years later when I was rabidly wearing leggings and long shirts together to middle school that I was far too fat to be doing that. No young love for me. I think even though the fashion magazines say the leggings are totally back this year, I'll be avoiding them just to be on the safe side (though I am about 50lb lighter than the last time I tried to wear them at age 12, so I guess that's something).
(pantherwest, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 2:06, Reply)

*shudder*
Not DIY, but God knows why anyone would pay for two of the fashion disasters that occured during the nineties in our semi-posh, semi-pikey school - namely:

1) black/dark blue, thick woollen tights, worn with white ankle socks (my mum wouldn't let me out of the house wearing these - I had to stop on my way to school bus stop to put the socks on)

2) Bright, luminous orange or lime green clogs. Oh yes. Looked like you had your feet stuck in tic-tacs. Luckily I don't think these were in fashion at the same time as the tights/ankle socks combo......
(emma_fisi, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 1:47, Reply)

Right, let's think
Firstly I have a pair of Fozzie Bear lace clips, small devices that are shaped like a face and "bite" onto tied laces to stop them coming undone. They're designed to stop small children undoing their shoes, but I deem them perfectly fit for my twenty year old self.

Secondly, when I was a bit younger I had a necklace I had made myself. J17 magazine had these supposedly fortune telling pendants free with one issue, and a load of my friends on a bus on a school trip made me go into the services and buy a load of them. Good job I didn't really care as the shame of approaching the checkout with an armful of girl's magazines isn't something everyone can live down, especially a boy in his mid teens. I decided that since everyone had one that mine was no longer original enough and proceeded to make a chain for it out of an old dog lead. The entire thing was held together with a keyring. The chain rusted but I keep meaning to get down to a DIY store and buy a new, waterproof one.

Also, if we are also including halloween costumes, I am quite proud of my homemade Ghostbusters costume, complete with fifteen year old children's toy proton pack and ghost trap. That's made quite a few experiences. I think I have some pictures somewhere and if anyone wants a goosey then I might post them.
( shovelboy This is bad - Two minutes to Belgium, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 1:12, Reply)

This is the god sworn truth
Me and my friend were VERY drunk one night after going to the pub, to a club, then coming home and polishing off a bottle of whiskey between us. Not that i condone this brilliantly fun state or anything of course. Anyways, we thought it would be funny to fashoin superhero costume's out of a4 paper, bin liners, and a few other house hold items. Basically we ended up with some (awesome at the time anyways) masks, capes, boots and some weapons each. After about 3 and a half seconds we decided on the names "Twatman and Nobbin" and proceded to hunt the streets to fight crimes. By then this was about 4am and know one was about, other than one couple who crossed the road to escape us, and when i shouted "do you need any super hero assistance" they ran away. I WILL NOT be posting the pictures for embarresment reasons, but i have some hillarious pictures from that night!
(Stuster is a dirty little rat bag, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 0:57, Reply)

Darth Vader
I once went to a party dressed as Darth Vader. Bought the costume in Woolworths for 9.99. Said on the label - for ages 8-11. I was 27 at the time. The bugger was so tight that I had to cut it in half to get it on. By the end of the evening I had lost circulation to my feet as a result of how fucking tight it was.
(veniceboy lives in California, Fri 25 Aug 2006, 0:24, Reply)

Can do anything a spider can


DIY indeed. Mask was a balaclava and tea strainers and the suit a mixture of tights, vest, t shirt, socks and duct tape.

My mate looks like a pervert.
(carlspick profile? Dunne, Thu 24 Aug 2006, 23:47, Reply)