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This is a question Drunk Parents

Watching the old man swing home from the pub and start arguing with Newsnight can be either funny, slightly unnerving or just plain terrifying. Tell us about daft things parents have done while they've been in their cups.

Suggested by NotDavidBailey, voted for by YOU

(, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 17:58)
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Sorry, not parents.
But family, so I hope it's close enough.
When I was around 10 my mother took my little brother and me to Poland for a family wedding.
At the reception afterwards the family had kindly provided one bottle of vodka per person -- that is including children and the elderly.
After a dinner of tripe soup and some other things I don't recall (you'll know why later) it was time for the toasts. Now, I'm not sure if it is just my family or all Polish families who do this -- but there were about 10 toasts by various people and each one ended with a shout of "Sto Lat!" and a double Vodka. As a child I was allowed to sip beer for the unimportant ones.
Needless to say we were all smashed.
I recall walking to the flat, belonging to one of my uncles, in which we were staying. The uncle whose flat it was had three bottles of vodka hidden about his person and my other uncle was loping around like an orangutan and climding walls, trees and street furniture.
When we got home (there were about 12 adults and 2 children in a two bedroom state-owned, tiny flat) we spent a little time drinking water and the adults talked. Well, most of them did -- the orangutan-impressionist was chasing the dog around the room trying to bite it's tail.
When we all eventually settled to sleep many of us had to get up to use the toilet (one of those with an inspection platform to look for worms) in the night. For some reason the uncle whose flat it was had to get up to go more than even little me (I still have a weak bladder to this day). My mother and I worked out what he was doing when he forgot to close the door: there was a washing maching in the toilet and he had hidden the three bottle of vodka in there so his wife wouldn't know he was drinking them.
The next morning everyone was surprisingly well and nothing ws said about the night before.
So, that's the story of the most excessive drinking session I have ever been party to -- and, believe me, I've had my share.
(, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 9:30, 4 replies)
It's pretty common
in the whole region. The Russians do it too.

This led to one of my wierdest experiences. I used to travel to Russia quite a lot for work, and had a regular interpreter in Moscow. We all used to gather at an 'English' pub most nights, and there were quite a few Brit regulars, including a truck driver who used to shuttle a 40 tonne artic between UK and Mongolia.

Long story short(ish), about 6 of these regulars were invited to lunch at the interpreters family home, his parents were both chefs at the Sheraton, so a damn good feast was had, accompanied by the aforementioned toasts, getting through 3/4 bottle of vodka each.

When we went to go, the pissed truck driver (unbelievably) said 'I've got me lorry outside, anybody want a lift?'.

So, while probably my mates and family were at their homes having Sunday roast, or down the pub, I was one of about 7 whooping people crammed into the cab of a 60' articulated lorry, being driven at 60mph through the centre of Moscow by a totally shitfaced brummie called Barry.

Oh to be 25 again . . .
(, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 10:16, closed)
Not sure whether I can click a reply..
.. but I damn well tried.

Magic.
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 16:55, closed)
Years ago I went to a Scottish wedding and a Polish wedding in the same summer
The Scottish one, in a Blackpool hotel, was still going strong after 1am when I dragged myself off to bed, leaving behind a row of kilted gentlemen dancing to 'The Piano Man' and revealing all at the line 'I can play the ORGAN! ORGAN! ORGAN!'

My last memory of the Polish celebrations is hazier: just people dancing on tables and leaping off. I might have joined in, no idea, had a few bruises next day though. So that was probably the better party!
(, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 13:35, closed)
Ordinarily it's a shame when the most debouched party you attend is at the age of 10...
.. in this case I think we can make an exception!

*click*
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 16:57, closed)

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