john
many moons ago, i was invited to my friend's engagement party.
i held a deep dislike of her chosen mate, he would time her when she went shopping, pick his nose and then attempt to shake your hand, make you feel decidedly unwelcome and report her to the police as a missing person with "mental difficulties" if she was out of the house for more than an hour.
however, this was the man she had chosen, so i decided to bury the hatchet and go along to wish them well.

i arrived at the party at 8, expecting it to be in full swing.
what i didn't expect was to be the only guest to have shown up.
we sat, drank, smoked and made stilted small-talk for an hour or so.
suddenly, thankfully, the doorbell ramg. my friend jumped up to answer it, leaving me and her vile beau sat watching red dwarf(yes, it really was that dull).
she returned to the "party" a minute later and uttered the words "smash, this is john." i looked up at the man who had entered the room with her. it took a few seconds to register in my brain that i was unable to breathe. he was tall, slim, striking; already grey and quite a bit older than me, but with an air of total confidence that would have seemed cocky in a younger man. the air between us seemed to burst into flame, although i could have been imagining that part.
introductions completed, he sat down opposite me and began to make pleasantries with our hosts.
my eyes, however, did not-could not-leave his face.
i spent the next hour or so giving monosyllabic replies to my friend's questions, my mind completely awash with feelings of lust for this ageing adonis.
finally, i remembered that i'd promised to meet my cousin in the pub(she was a barmaid) for a drink, so i made my excuses and prepared to leave. to my surprise, john stood up and grabbed his coat.
"i can't allow a lady to walk around at night without an escort, can i?" he grinned, taking my arm. i almost fainted there and then.

the walk to the pub was short and silent, my mouth was far too dry for words to be formed. as we stopped outside the door, he turned to me and said "if your cousin isn't here, you will come back to the party, won't you?"

and then he kissed me.

tingles of electricity raced up my spine, hotwiring my brain and turning my legs to water. never before or since have i been kissed like that.
by the time my brain was functioning again, he was already walking away, back to the party. i wandered into the pub in a complete daze, no more capable of rational thought than of flight. conversation with my cousin proved impossible, so it was decided that i should go back to the party.

i arrived back within half an hour, to discover that there were still no more guests. i didn't care, though, john was still there.
he walked me home when i left an hour later and kissed me on the doorstep, before asking for my number.

what followed was the most wonderful, intense, passionate 9 months of my life. unfortunately, like most things that seem too good to be true, it was. i learned from our mutual friend, she of the obnoxious fiance, that john was married. not only married, but a father to 2 young boys.

my world was turned upside down. what should i do? confront him? tell his wife? carry on as if nothing had happened? all of these options swirled through my head constantly. due to the fact that i was head-over-heels in love with him, i did the only thing i could: i told him it was over. he begged me to reconsider, telling me he loved me more than life itself. he asked me why i was doing this, but i couldn't tell him, couldn't give him the chance to make excuses that my love-fogged brain would desperately want to believe. it was the hardest thing i'd ever had to do, but it was the right thing to do.

that was nearly 15 years ago. i still think about him almost every day, the way he kissed me, the way he held me, the way he would stroke my hair and nibble my ear after we'd made love. it hurt like hell to lose him, but would i do it all again? you'd better believe it!

apologies for length, i had no idea it would be this long when i started writing it.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 21:50, 4 replies)

Good for you for dumping him!
Something similar happened to me once, too.

How did your friends marriage get on?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 21:58, closed)

she divorced him after 2 horrendous years
he beat her and kept her locked in the house, but she wouldn't press charges. last i saw of her, she was living in a hostel and going out with a bus driver.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 22:05, closed)

*click*
Good call on calling it off. As nice as he seemed, he'd have done the same to you in time unfortunately.
(vicarius, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 23:54, closed)

well yes, there was that
but the real reason i dumped him was because i wasn't going to be responsible for breaking up his marriage and making his children suffer through a divorce.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 2:23, closed)