Reading through the Personal ads makes me feel better.
For instance:

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Wanted
Reply to: [email protected]
Date: 2009-02-22, 8:51AM

I am a white male of 47 to be 48 in April. I am married to a woman and have been for 28 years. The whole time she never washed our childrens cloths, never liked to cook, refuses to clean the house, never took care of her car, and yes, it was brand new, no used ones for my woman. She has on numerous occasions been caught with other men. Hell, she even gave birth to 2 bi racial boys, what more proof do I need than that? She always seemed to come home with 20 or 30 dollars claiming someone dropped it in a store. Yeh right. Do you know what the odds are to have that happen once in Wal Mart let alone on a daily basis? You think it is because I gave her no money? Wrong. She swipes my bank card at the rate of 400.00 a month and never gives me the receipts, so I am always behind on my check book. I asked her for a divorce and she wont do it. Hell, I even told her I wont fight nothing, she can have the house along with the 14 acres with it. I just want out. I had been dating another woman for two years, but she played too many games. I dropped her. I am just looking for someone to share what little time I have left with. Not that I have any disease, hell no. Its just that the average blue collar man only lives to about 60, so that gives ma about 12 years left according to statistics. I cant take it any more. I just want a woman who appreciates her man and knows how to treat him and is not afraid to stand up for him. Be there for him. Support him emotionally. Quit spending what he dont have. I love to go places and show off my woman, like movies, parks, fishing perhaps, or just strolling hand in hand down the road so people can see this woman belongs to me and I belong to her. I smoke and drink, but the drinking is only about 3 beers a week. I cant stand an alcoholic. If you are interested contact me. I cant take sleeping by myself much longer. Its like being in a coffin, cold, lonely and dark.

* Location: Farmville, VA
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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This reads like a textbook example from an Abnormal Psych class. One of the most disturbing things I've read in a long time, for certain.

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SBF(sexy too) seekin SWM (19-24) Most not be ugly - 20 (Colonial Heghts)
Reply to: [email protected]
Date: 2009-02-23, 11:45PM EST

Hey Fellas! I am a Cute LOVABLE blk Slim female Looking for a Cute LOVABLE white male near me( I want to be able to atleast be seen with you in public LMAO sorry Ima bitch)...PLEASE REPLY WITH PIC AND IT BETTER NOT BE FAKE..I have pics of me also I will be happy to send when I see one of you first :)....I am deff not ugly I juss have trouble fininding guys that want me for ME...When guys look at me they think because Im pretty Ill give it up AND THAT IS NO THE CASE lol... NO ONE OVER THE AGE OF 24...I would perfer a someone that likes AE,PAC SUN Hollister....And I have a thing for tall guys BUT if your not tall thats okay cause im only 5'0 lol and I weigh like 106 lbs..Hit Me Up if you think youll meet my expectations...ABSOLUTLEY NO ONE FAT OR MARRIED...OR THAT HAS A GIRLFRIEND....


* Location: Colonial Heghts
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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Good god, where to even start with this one?!? *brain asplodes*

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Single white female seeks Single blk male! (Henrico)
Reply to: [email protected]
Date: 2009-02-22, 2:13PM EST


I am seeking and SBM to hang out with and have some fun with. I have not really been in the dating scene in a while so I am looking at this through new eyes. I am a single mother and put that before anything else so please understand that from jump! I am not looking to be your wife, but am also not looking to be one on the list if that makes sense! I am good looking and take good care of myself and you must do the same. I am seeking someone who has a stable life and is more centered. I am not into going out all the time however drinks and all in fun when had at home. I am a huge football fan & enjoy dinners out. I am really looking for a friend as well! I am in my mid 20's and happy to say I am drama free!

Please send me some info on yourself and your pic gets mine!!!


* Location: Henrico
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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Hmmmmm. Mid twenties: check. White girl specifically seeking a black male: check. Single mother in her mid-twenties: check.

Drama free? I don't think so, toots. In fact, looks like that's what you thrive on. Let me guess: you decry racism and hold yourself up as an example of How Things Should Be, as you specify the race of who you want to be with? Does the term "irony" mean anything to you?

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I read these things and feel better about myself- but then I look at my own track record and shudder. Who the hell am I kidding?...

Wanted: High-Maintenance, High Drama Woman

SWM, 46, mentally unbalanced and loaded with baggage, seeks female to drive him even farther into insanity than he has reached on his own. Must hate my friends, have at least three children under the age of ten, have an abusive father and unresolved issues. Bonus points for working as a hair dresser and expecting me to take you to the nicer restaurants in town at least once a week. No fewer than five phone calls a day expected while I'm at work, demanding to know where your keys are that you put somewhere last night or telling me how awful your children are being. Reasonable women need not apply...

Might as well join in, eh?

This is a joke. It is only a joke. Please do not take any of it seriously.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 24 Feb 2009, 16:20, 11 replies)

on the basis of yours,
.. I reckon maybe you should contact that first guy and borrow his wife.
(haberman is singing in the changes, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 16:43, closed)

I suspect
that he's married to my ex.

That too is a joke.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 24 Feb 2009, 16:44, closed)

Sweet Jesus!!!
That's fucked up. Really fucked up.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 17:01, closed)

The horrible part
is that other than blanking out the reply-to things, I didn't modify any of those in the slightest. I copied and pasted them.

I swear that I couldn't make this shit up if my life depended on it. Even my brain has limits to how twisted it can get.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 24 Feb 2009, 17:11, closed)

re the first guy.
Well, now we know who's buying all the country music.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 17:09, closed)

Hey that first guy is just my type.
Oh hang on, he smokes. That's a no then.
( girlinthehole, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 17:38, closed)

Ha!
Brain asplodes....sounds, um, disturbing....
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 17:49, closed)

Well...
not really.

...actually, maybe it is.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 24 Feb 2009, 18:04, closed)

Shoot-fire
The first guy sounds like he could be in my family...
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 17:53, closed)

Pretty spooky.
The pic he posted of himself shows a man with a white beard, hair that is still somewhat dark on top but is otherwise silver, standing in front of a barn with a tractor and the back porch of his house in the background. He's apparently one year older than I am, but looks about ten more.

Creeps me right the fuck out.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 24 Feb 2009, 20:51, closed)

I love you
Will you go out with me?
(twatspangler is bent over in front of your dad on, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 21:06, closed)