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This is a question I Hurt My Rude Bits, Again

My commute to work was made excellent the other day when I saw a motorcyclist try to ride on the pavement to avoid a traffic queue, lose control, fall off and land bollock-first on a concrete bollard. He was fine, eventually but tell us your tales of the old blinding agony to the gentleman's or gentlewoman's area.

(, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 12:50)
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As a young man
I was always a bit kinky, and almost inevitably, as I got older and experimented a bit with my sexuality, I drifted a bit towards the odder side of things and ended up meeting a girl who was a few years older, more jaded, and into BDSM. I was nervous at first, but I found that I got a huge kick out of being the submissive partner. We started with a bit of spanking, foot worship, and the like, and then things started to get a bit more extreme.

Over time, things became progressively more extreme, by most people's standards, anyway, but I was aroused, in love, and totally in her hands. I found I got a huge kick out of the whole thing, and the kick increased with the physical pain and the sense of danger.

One evening, which I'll never forget, I ended up strapped to the kitchen table in her flat, being flogged with a cat of nine tails, before she disappeared and returned to the room with a hammer and some nails. My first thought as 'fucking hell, she's going to crucify me', but she saw my look of panic and assured me that she wasn't.

Then, to my mounting excitement, she pulled down the PVC thong I was wearing, placed the wooden board underneath my scrotum, and began preparing to nail my dangly bits to the board. I understand that this is not to most people's tastes, but by then I was heavily into this whole thing, and heavily into her, and I have to admit it was an incredible feeling of anticipation, as she reached for the hammer and nails.

And then, as she was setting up for the blow, it all went wrong. I began screaming out the safe word, and she quickly put everything away and released me from my constraints. I was immensely relieved. Horror had been averted by the merest of margins.

Crazy bitch hadn't warmed the nail.. I mean... fucking hell.
(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 17:12, closed)
Jesus, I didn't know my balls could jump into my abdomen from reading a story.

(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 17:18, closed)
Maybe this will teach me.
That I should not take a mouthfull of coffee at the end of a QOTW story. Luckily I missed the laptop, but now have to change my jeans and mop the floor.
(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 17:26, closed)
I know for a fact
that the worst part about scrotal nailing is removing the nails, that's when it really fucking hurts. Women just don't get how a claw hammer is supposed to work.

Oh, and using hypodermics instead hurts more than ordinary Homebase nails, interestingly enough...
(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 21:45, closed)
Isn't this because you usually do the nail removal after you've come?
If you nailed your scrotum to a board before you were even aroused and removed the nails as you climaxed I'd imagine the opposite would be true.
(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 22:46, closed)
You should try not nailing your bollocks to a piece of wood

(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 22:58, closed)
If
She Who Must Be Obeyed decrees some nailing is in order, it's happening. Anyway, it's not your actual bollock, it's your nutsac.

Dunno about the arousal thing, scrotal nailing does nothing for me sexually. Urethral sounding, on the other hand...
(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 23:51, closed)
Just to put it on record
at this point in time: you know much more about this than me, I was just going for a cheap joke.
(, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 0:24, closed)
This is always good advice

(, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 12:08, closed)
Take
a bow, son, take a bow.
(, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 21:54, closed)
Thankyou
*takes a bow*
(, Sun 10 Mar 2013, 10:42, closed)
Sounds like fun
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufTqGoGp-xo
(, Sun 10 Mar 2013, 11:27, closed)
Funnily enough
I've read the book that film is based on, but haven't seen the film. I can confidently say that the film is probably not a very faithful adaptation, as whilst the book is a thrilling story exploring naturally occuring psychoactive drugs and their role in Haitian Voodoo culture, at no point does anything like that scene happen.

It's by Wade Davis, who's an anthropologist and biochemist. I thoroughly recommend it.
(, Sun 10 Mar 2013, 15:16, closed)

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