Karma curmudgeon
I've been wondering what the time limit has to be in order for coincidence to become karma. If I fall down the stairs today, is it because I pushed a schoolmate down the steps 23 years ago. Or - and this is just a thought -are the two totally unrelated? Would I have to fall down the steps immediately after pushing the other guy, or would a fortnight be enough time to link the two?

And does magnitude play a part? If I laugh at someone's ginger hair, does that mean I'm due some karmic retribution? EVERYONE laughs and ginges, so that's not really fair. If I will an old woman to fall under a car to clear my path, does that deserve retributive karma?

And what about commensurability? If I spit at Peter Andre, would I be justified in being outraged to receive bowel cancer as my divine justice? Or let's say I lose a limb freeing a puppy from a bear trap, then I find 20p on the street. That's pretty fucking useless karma. I'd expect at least £10,000 for the loss of a limb. This isn't Norwich Union, after all - it's fucking cosmic balance.
(frankspencer, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 15:12, 11 replies)

Someone earlier quoted Newtons "equal and opposite reaction" law (misusing it as an approximation to karma)
Worrying, when I read the bit about falling down the stairs because of pushing someone I thought "Well, if you were standing at the top of the stairs facing backwards..."

Someone shoot me, please.
(Bearded Whumpus In chav Britain, schoolgirl offers sweets to YOU!, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 15:20, closed)

some
are born ginger (me), some achieve ginger, and some have ginger thrust upon them in a kind of karmic retribution? Sounds like a plan.

It's auburn now, so nyah.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 15:36, closed)

Well, they say that a butterfly flaps it's wings in the rainforest and a tidlewave hits Asia...
So by pushing a child down the stairs 23 years ago you are personally responsible for the two Gulf wars. And cancer.

Nice one Frank.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 16:13, closed)

Ha!
That reminds me of the punchline of a joke....a chicken sneezes and the whole world shits itself.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 16:16, closed)

@Whumpus
Well, I suppose if you're at the top of the stairs, facing backwards onto them, and you're trying to push someone who is considerably heavier than you, Newton 3 suggests that the "reaction*" pushes you down the stairs.

Does this mean you've pushed yourself down the stairs?

And does this have anything to do with karma, or am I just being a boring fecking pedant again?

*_{Very misleading name for it...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 16:22, closed)

a tidlewave hits Asia...
I didn't get a lot of sleep last night (heartburn, before any of you pervs gets the wrong idea), but I just misread that as 'Asda'...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 26 Feb 2008, 16:23, closed)

Every little helps

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 16:29, closed)

I don't laugh at gingers
I think it's quite a nice hair colour
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 18:14, closed)

The Karma Law
I might be wrong on this - as i have just made it up.......


Karma is an average and works a somewhere between a card counter at poker and a tesco clubcard

For example
Helping old lady = 1 point
Saving a child from a burning building = 5 points
supergluing your friends feet together while they are asleep = -3 points.

just like a tesco clubcard - karma will randomly mail you some vouchers which are for immediate use.
Say at the time of the Karma mailout you have 8 points - you will get a gift from the 8 point gift page (promotion, small dream come true, anal from the wife).
If you have say -12 points you get a karma suprise from the bad book of karma gifts (sacked, runover, get anal from a hairy rapist)



Now im not saying im right, but, I think i must be close.
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 21:52, closed)

^so
If karma can be equated to Newton's Third Law then we can just write K = -K but I like the loyalty card system much better.
I'm picturing the good karma vouchers as a book token and the bad karma vouchers as an Argos catalogue.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 22:27, closed)

@ Kiss.Me.Where.I.Poo
re: "anal from the wife"........so you count an 8 point thing as your wife doing anal on you? I would have thought it would be the other way around


@ Colonel Dracula
Good point......he really should stop pushing kids down the stairs. Talk about causing a karma disaster! Stop creating wars by pushing kids down please Frank.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Wed 27 Feb 2008, 2:22, closed)