no, not the triangles!
i'm a bit dull when it comes to drugs. i used to smoke a lot of weed, but paranoia put a stop to that. tried tablets with my mates a few times but, when they were all off on one, i was sat there thinking "is someting meant to be happening?". for some reason, they just didn't seem to affect me.
except for one particular time.
my then-boyfriend, the Creepy Thin Man, had bought an ounce of weed off his mate, who'd also given him 4 mitsubishis. i turned quite a bit of the weed into cakes, whilst CTM got busy making the spliffs. the plan was to have a cake each, then share a spliff, then have a cake, etc.
after we'd each had our second cake, CTM says "look what i've got!" and pulls out a little plastic bag containing the 4 mitsubishis. "why don't we have a couple of these each?" now, as i've already said, these things had never really had any effect on me before, so i thought what the hell, let's do it.
half an hour and half a spliff later, nothing was happening. i wasn't surprised. i chalked it up to another failure and had a cake.
ten minutes after that, i started to notice something strange: the corners of my vision were being overtaken by triangles. lots and lots of little, multicoloured, interlocking triangles. before i knew it, triangles was all i could see. i couldn't focus on anything without it seeming to be overlaid with damn triangles.
well, i may have freaked out a bit at this point.
curled up on the chair, clutching my knees, i screamed at CTM "GET RID OF THESE FUCKING TRIANGLES! STOP LAUGHING, YOU CUNT, HELP ME!" he didn't help, he couldn't even move for laughing. feeling angry, paranoid and more than a little scared, i stormed off to bed.
i lay there for over an hour, staring at the triangle-infused ceiling, contemplating spending the rest of my life in a mental hospital, due to having fucked my brain good and proper. i could hear CTM in the living room, still laughing, the bastard. i decided i'd had enough of this colourful angular nightmare. i tried to envisage a dog, something simple to focus on, to get rid of the triangles. it took almost two hours before i could close my eyes and see that dog clearly in my mind but, when i could, the relief was overwhelming. i went straight into the living room and gave CTM a kick in the arse for being an unhelpful prick.

that was the last time i ever had tablets, but if i ever hit the weed heavy after that, i could see triangles starting to appear again at the corners of my eyes, which i took as a sign to leave the weed alone, too.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 18:01, 6 replies)

Two mitsi's and a hash cake?
Them's gonna do you a mischief... mitsis are pretty strong to start with, you don't want to introduce a whole cake of paranoia before you've even got to the rushy stage. Did I say "rushy"? Two mitsis = your whole body exploding.

Ouchy.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:18, closed)

i didn't have one cake
i had about 4 before they kicked in :(
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:31, closed)

At least you had the decency to ingest a suitably "too much" quantity tho...
Not like the freak-out nobber of a best mate I now feel inspired to write about...
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Thu 16 Sep 2010, 21:06, closed)

hahahaha!
me and my mates got some pissed-up bloke smoking turkish black tea, telling him it was weed. it was funny to watch him!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 21:09, closed)

Some of my mates
watched someone try and get high on hot knives, on a piece of licorice they sold him. Twats!
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 21:19, closed)

pfff!
glad i'm not the only one who can be a cunt!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 21:21, closed)