This is a good thread.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:34, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

It truely is
what shall i make as a starter for people on Wednesday? We're having beef bourguignon
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:42, Reply)

Scallops with a bit of pancetta
and some rocket. Possibly parmesan shavings
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:44, Reply)

A Big Mac.
Can't go wrong.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 14 May 2012, 12:50, Reply)

Something light. Garlic & chilli prawns on a bed of leaves?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:44, Reply)

Also good
Maybe a soup?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:45, Reply)

milkyway on a bed of quavers?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:45, Reply)

Student^
Pot Noodle for dessert?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:46, Reply)

I don't like pot noodles. Super noodles are far superior. I live on shreddies, wraps (that I make) and ribena.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:47, Reply)

Ribena is for twats.
And this is official.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 14 May 2012, 12:57, Reply)

YM's clunge in a puddle of blood?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:47, Reply)

I think a lighter starter would be better TBH
I'M JOKING THAT BOBBY'S MUM IS ALSO FAT
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:47, Reply)

Possibly a little oriental, but light is right
i was actually thinking vegetarian as well, maybe asparagus, they've just come into season like your mum
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:48, Reply)

My piss smells funny after her too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:48, Reply)

Grilled asparagus wrapped in Parma Ham with a vinegarette is nice

(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:52, Reply)

I do think asparagus is the answer and will do something like this
or maybe I'll give them a parmesan breadcrumb crust or make hollandaise sauce
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:57, Reply)

fuck asparagus
it's so.... bland. i'm always really disappointed when it's asparagus. great, a plate full of giant green stalks. although i didn't get the stinky piss thing, as it doesn't happen to me, but everyone was complaining at the last wedding i went to, because the toilets reeeeeeeeked after the asparagus starter.

can't you do mini prawn and monkfish or haloumi and pepper kebabs skewers or something?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:14, Reply)

I dunno, main course is quite earthy, these feel to far removed from that
you've clearly never had good asparagus
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:18, Reply)

of course i have
back in the 90's when it was fashionable. you can do better. even oven roasted or fried courgettes with feta and lemon juice would be better!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:20, Reply)

asparagus wrapped in crispy pancetta served with a soft bolied egg for dipping is a thing of beauty
for extr nom, add butter and a dash of cider vinegar to the egg
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:21, Reply)

that sounds fucking disgusting
slightly crunchy vegetable (texture 1) in salty crispy fat (texture 2) with wet runny egg (texture 3)?

oh nakers. i've never joined in the bent spastic approach. don't make me start now...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)

you have no idea how wrong you are, but that's because of your vegetarian leanings

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:24, Reply)

Agreeing with Nakers right now on the internet

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:26, Reply)

you two are as bad as each other
anyway in answer to his original dilemma, he should fry some mini goats cheeses in breadcrumbs and serve with some kind of chutney or chilli jam or whatever he likes to smear all over his granny's nipples and make his dog lick off.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:29, Reply)

great idea except mrs ape hates goats cheese

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:32, Reply)

you married a freak
i don't know what else to say
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:34, Reply)

Goats cheese is often quite disliked actually
but you are correct
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:35, Reply)

I've found a little goes a long way
It can be quite overwhelming unless paired with other strong flavours.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:53, Reply)

It is likely that your piss does smell after eating it
and that you lack the gene required to be able to detect it.
Hope this helps.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:25, Reply)

SHE HAS NO NOSE!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:26, Reply)

that's contrary to what i read
which says that it is a particular protein that some people's bodies do not make.

if your hypothesis were true, i wouldn't be able to smell other people's stinking disgusting asparagus piss, now, would i? this would be a good thing, admittedly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:28, Reply)

Hmm... inconclusive
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asparagus#Effects_on_urine
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:34, Reply)

Aspagous with boiled duck eggs to dip them in.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:31, Reply)

KFC

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:45, Reply)

Wine

(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:47, Reply)

I'm not trying to get my guests back to a travel taven

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:48, Reply)

if they've got to listen to you talking about the organic butchers you got your beef from and the heratige of your oak flooring
then at least let them get pissed up before.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:51, Reply)

How many are coming?
If there's up to 5, chilli prawns is a good idea.
5 or more, chicken soup or something like that works well.
If there's 10, ask Bamber Gascoigne.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:48, Reply)

I doubt he's got 5 friends.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:53, Reply)

I don't know who bamber gascoigne is, i assume he is paul's dad
6 people in total soup plus stew is probably too wet
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:53, Reply)

Like your Mum.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:55, Reply)

that'll be her arse leaking into her clunge
she just doesn't have the sphincter control she used too
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:00, Reply)

Turn her over

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:04, Reply)

pass me ma turning oar boy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:06, Reply)

Used to present University Challenge
Ahh, fair enough.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:55, Reply)

So you've only got 4 friends?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:04, Reply)

Actually I have 7, but these 4 were free*


*1 actually, the others are my wife's friends :(
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:05, Reply)

Maybe you'd have more friends if you weren't such a bent spastic.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:13, Reply)

I'll add to my list of new years resolutions

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:15, Reply)

Hmm
- Scallops on black pudding.
- A salad containing pears, walnuts and blue cheese - with verious leaves.
- Individual rounded tarts containing tomarto , basil and a nice cheese.
- Lobster raviloi
- Dim Sum
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:30, Reply)

Scallop and black pudding goyza with a teryaki dip would be really impressive, and you can prepair most of it the next day...
... you just get some goyza pastry, chop up the scallops and black pudding and mix up, stuff the pastry and seal with some egg yolk. Maybe add some chives to it too.

Then on the day, you fry them in a bit of oil in a sauce-pan for about 30 seconds, with the pan as hot as you can get it, so you get a cripsy bottom, then pour in a glass of water and put a lid on for 2 minuites.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:35, Reply)

I have a recipe for tomato, basil and pancetta tarts
that is so fucking good, maybe I'll make them, they are quite filling though
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:37, Reply)

Make a bigger one and serve slices with a salad

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:48, Reply)