I love a bit of port.

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 13:51, 3 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

I kid myself that this is for Christmas, but I know that it'll be gone before then and I'll have to get another bottle.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 13:53, Reply)

The first Christmas I spent with Mrs Vagabond's family concluded with four of us getting through six bottles of port.
It took me weeks to be able to drink it again.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 13:57, Reply)

it's even better* if you combine it with dirty big cigars
*worse
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 13:58, Reply)

i can't bear the stuff
i went to a white tie do at the mayor of london's house (not his actual house, the ceremonial thing in the city that they hire out for events), and this particular livery had a thing where everyone drank port out of the same ceremonial cup... you had to link arms and pass it to the right with some kind of battle cry...

sharing with one person is WRONG and GROSS. sharing with the ENTIRE ROOM??? bowk.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:16, Reply)

you've now got cooties handed down through twelve generations of chinless Etonians
the "normal" form for passing the port allows you to keep your own glass and pass the decanter
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:21, Reply)

i didn't touch it, i'm not mental
the battle cry bit was quite amusing though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:22, Reply)

you mean you weren't allowed because you're only a girl

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:29, Reply)

well now i'm confused
i thought there were no girls on the internet
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:31, Reply)

there are quite a few fat desperates looking to pick up speccy internet dweebs
and, on a completely unrelated note, chompy was on here the other day
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:44, Reply)

For a surprise santa thing a few years back
I got someone a selection of mini ports (you know the sort of thing) but it had some nice ones in there. Dozy cunt said "ah great I will make cheeky vimto's"
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 13:58, Reply)

i bought my secret santa gift today
always a bit awkward when you don't know the recipient
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:11, Reply)

Edible knickers works for everyone.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:16, Reply)

i went for this
because pizza and because i know she rides a bike.

https://www.oliverbonas.com/#/gift/bicycle-pizza-cutter-30980
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:18, Reply)

soz cant click that

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:20, Reply)

well
it's a pizza cutter that's shaped like a bike.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:21, Reply)

pizza wheels are for wobbly flids who can't be trusted with knives

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:28, Reply)

i don't reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally think anyone's going to take you as a pizza expert
sorry burnie
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:31, Reply)

you thick cunt

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:37, Reply)

lol pizza oven

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:38, Reply)

sorry
but great big oceans of charred black shit just don't qualify you as someone who knows what he is doing.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:38, Reply)

this hasn't ever gone well for you in the past
why would you put yourself through it again?
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:42, Reply)

look dude
you call it a pizza if you like.

the rest of the world will call it a burnt misshapen blob of shit, and we'll all be happy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:44, Reply)

yerr ... you deffo represent the rest of the world, Old Mother Bulimia

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:47, Reply)

it is true that nobody laughed at all when the sad little thing was posted on qotw
everybody said, mmmmmmmmmmmmmm, my, yes, what a pizza expert you must be, dr pizza.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:48, Reply)

yerr

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:51, Reply)

go on then, post another pic of it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 15:01, Reply)

I have no idea what either of you are banging on about.

( Kroney, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:48, Reply)

it's dull as fuck

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:50, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/jobexpectation/post2279734
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:52, Reply)

why are you reminding me that you're a PizzaHut pleb?

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:54, Reply)

a very sorry looking burnt pizza was posted on questions of our lives by dr shambolic as proof if ever proof was needed of his pizzaprowess

(Mr Udagawa, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:50, Reply)

Oh ok, I get it.
Shambles must be crying on the inside.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:52, Reply)

I'm crying on all sides.

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:54, Reply)

I'm sorry if you were unaware of this
but occasional minor culinary failure renders you incapable of making any judgement on anything, ever; or at least rendering your opinion invalid.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:57, Reply)

What a prick eh

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:59, Reply)

I'm crying from my front bottom

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 15:15, Reply)

i think he's wandered off to do some photo shopping

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 15:17, Reply)

I can't be fucking having with secret Santa.

( Kroney, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:12, Reply)

Neither can I but I get bullyed into it every year
with the same Ah but everyone else has done it wah wah wah
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:20, Reply)

you pansy

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:28, Reply)

your point ?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:32, Reply)

I'm pointing at you and going "lalala you are a pansy"

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:38, Reply)

I shouldnt be erect now should I?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:43, Reply)

I'm lobbing salt and vinegar hula hoops over it

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:45, Reply)

well I wouldnt want my december bongle going to waste
only 30 days or so before I will have the energy to muster another
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 8 Dec 2014, 14:58, Reply)