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This is a question Personal Ads

A somewhat shocked friend writes, "I did not realise it is considered de rigeur to send a cock shot with the first email."

Welcome to the world of personal ads. How deep down the rabbit hole have you gone?

(, Thu 13 Sep 2007, 15:01)
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This question is now closed.

Plug and pregnancy
Well since everyone else is plugging their pics I stuck one up too:

www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=REELSYN&key=RRY

No idea how to get it on the scoreboard however.

As for the topic I first did internet dating in the mid 90s and found it 50/50 between very nice people (hi Maria) and oddballs. Of the latter the most scary was a lass who seemed nice, normal and rather attractive. Sevral dates followed and we ended up back at hers. Half way through sex she whispered "I'd love to get pregnant right now." This was then followed by 'pillow talk' of how nice it would be to have a baby with my eyes. I made my excuses and left.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 17:25, Reply)
answer a question with a question
Ok, so do those scribblings on the back of the door/ walls in public bogs count as "personal ads" and if so has anyone ever rung one? Should be a QOTW "whats the weirdest thing you've seen written in the bogs?"
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 17:23, Reply)
HoN
yay!
got a good rating (for now haha)
does that mean i'm attractive to chavs in general?
oh dear
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 17:23, Reply)
Dammit, Reverend!
foiled again!

It's not my day today...

I just thought you would appreciate the direct approach as opposed to the kind of crappola that Clendrix had to put up with.

one day...one day...
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:57, Reply)
Oh, where do I begin?
I seem to pick most of the losers of the world whether I meet them face to face or online.

one, would come on once in a blue moon and then talk to all his friends for hours and talk to me for 5 minutes and insist on me wearing fishnets, 4 inch heels and tieing him up when we did the nasty.

Not only that, the guy was suicidal and threatened to commit suicide, drank (because “he needed the confidence when going with a fit bird like me", his words not mine :) ) , did drugs, and called me and said that he wanted to hear my voice before he died.



Next one I met at Match.com, cheated on me 3 times. 1 man, 2 women, one of which used to be a prostitute, and called me up on Halloween when I had to go to work, had to stay late at work, was on my period, was still mourning the death of my friend, and told me that he was being taken to a mental asylum because he tried to commit suicide.

Next one, basically said I was a failure as a human being and had me cry every day for a week to get me to be stronger. That and he used to say to me all the time how he dreams of me having sex with his mates.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:53, Reply)
Pooflake
I hope that your subject line wasn't a thinly veiled attempt to groom me through an internet forum....
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:53, Reply)
A few years ago...
I broke up with my long term boyfriend and found out that all of my friends had been his friends too. So I found myself truely alone!
Apart from the usual ways of making new friends (going to pubs/clubs and getting outrageously drunk), I also registered a profile on match.com

I was fortunate enough not to meet any psychos, but I did meet a lovely young man who I chatted to quite a lot on-line, then over the phone, and eventually one day we met for a date.

He turned out to be BY FAR the most decent lad I had ever known, but at the time I thought we'd make better friends than lovers. Almost a year after meeting him we started dating more seriously and we now live together and have an amazing two year old son.

However, after reading some of the posts on the QOTW, I will not use internet dating ever again - should the need arise (love ya, honey)
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:52, Reply)
Jacgrus
I don't know what to say...that picture was strangely compelling...I couldn't help but click 10 for it.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:48, Reply)
Hot or not?!?
Ive actually had women wanting to meet me on this site using this picture :

www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=AEORGRA&key=NHU

it was around 2.5 for ages, it recently went up to about 4.5...why?
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:46, Reply)
JugularQ
is my name on HoN, at popular request I might add.

But quite frankly, I couldn't give a monkey's what you lot, or anyone else for that matter, thinks about the way I look, so vote me 1 if you like.

BTW, the picture is me after two bottles of wine doing "girl-next-door-porn-look" enjoy!
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:42, Reply)
Long time gone
Blimey, haven't played on the board for ages! Have to this time though, cos I'm gorgeous :)

Blatant appeal for vote-os: hotornot.com/r/?eid=REEUOSG-XHP

Maybe should have been holding a kitten. Or a baby hedgepig.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:38, Reply)
Bugger Me, Reverend, you're right!
Here's where the blagging cheesy tea-leaf copied the last bit from:

atlanta.craigslist.org/m4w/423090599.html

RUMBLED!
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:35, Reply)
HoN
I think I'm in love.
hotornot.com/r/?eid=BZRLGMN-JJC
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:33, Reply)
Clendrix
Not only was his spelling and grammar piss poor, but I reckon he's a thief as well - that last section is quite clearly pilfered as the spelling is suddenly much improved.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:33, Reply)
clendrix
I hope your answer to 'Michael' was:

'yeah, yeah whatever...but how big is your cock?'
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:30, Reply)
Stalkers?
I think I'm winning that race.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:20, Reply)
My life has all been planned out...
...by some guy in New York. I used a travel website - all I put on there was a photo of me and listed the places I'd been. Based purely on that, he sent me the following e-mail:

"My name is michael and am single never married and has no kids... am selfemployed into Minnings world i mean Precious Stones. I love travelling becos i travel alot for business and contracts. am hard working businessman, am here looking for serious and long term relationship that will last for ever with happiness and joy, Relationship that will never bring regret in future or cause dameges in my heart or life. Love is heal and not to kill and it loving you is a crime then i will rather be call a criminal than to stop loving you, it better for me to kiss a miss tahn to miss a kiss.
Am 38yr old man, live and work in New York but am not a Citizen of US becos my Dad is from Germany and my Mum is from Africa...i need to settle down with a serious woman and well determined woman who isa ready for serious and long term relationship, who is ready to live with me as husband and wife and we share all we will have together as one body,to me i believe distance or age shouldnt be a barrier where there is true love and emotional feeling of the heart... and here are Some Of What I Want In Relatiosnhip.......
Hey, there is so much I want to tell you, a lot has been running through my head lately. I'm having trouble putting my thoughts into words so you will have to bare with me through this.
I keep thinking about the future, about life, and what I want out of it. I keep thinking about us and what this relationship means to me. I keep thinking about these things and I realize they go hand in hand. This relationship is my future; it's what I want out of life. I want to grow old with you. I want to experience this crazy love forever and ever, and I really think I'm going to get to. I want us to walk through new houses picking the one that would be just right for us. I want to see you walk around our house in a big t-shirt with your hair down and catch me staring at how gorgeous you are. I want you to pull the covers off me at night and then I have to get even closer, if it's possible, to you to keep warm. I want to see you laugh like crazy at me when I do stupid stuff. I want to rub lotion all over your body because you laid out in the sun too long. I want to have a child with you and go through the experiences of parenthood with you. I want to see you and me chasing our little kid around the house, all three of us laughing our heads off and having fun. I want to hold you when you cry and smile with you when you smile. I want to fall asleep every night with you in my arms. I want you to fall asleep on my chest listening to the beat of my heart and know it beats for you I want you to be the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. I want to see your bad morning hair; I think it will be so cute. I want to sit on the beach with you and watch the sun set, and I want all the people who pass us to envy the love that we obviously have for each other."

What a shame - I finally find a man who loves my morning hair only to discover that his spelling and grammar are too awful to bear. Damn.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:20, Reply)
Stalking
Rachelswipe will win hands down. The only competition is for second place.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:18, Reply)
Babies
are noisy and they smell.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:18, Reply)
I'm ashamed
to admit that my brain process actually was 'Ahh! Baby! *Clicks 10*'
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:18, Reply)
Shame
Your all gonna regret this next week when the stalking starts. Maybe there should be a list of those who have the most stalkers.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:17, Reply)
spikeypickle
You're a very cunning man. Bebbehs are cute.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:16, Reply)
ahhhhh but.......
the thinking behind it is that you would vote 10 based on cuteness of both father and son, thus boosting my score
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:15, Reply)
Blatant cheating!
You can't use a picture of yourself snuggling with a baby, how do you expect us ladies to give any more coherent response than 'Ahhh!'?
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:13, Reply)
This HotorNot malarky is funny
Its so hilarious to watch all the ringing thats going on... Did we expect anything less? :-)
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 16:11, Reply)
no story
I've done my little tale for the week so I'm taking this opportunity to plug my new pic on HoN.......

www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=REEQRLA&key=LJB&sid=NZ

And also to show just how cute my wee little laddy is :)

Edit (thanks to Vipros): Thats a lip ring, not dribble.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 15:47, Reply)
Lesson learnt...
Well, I guess I'd better actually post a story.

I left uni in 1999 and not long after BT brought in this wonderful new fangled "fixed price" internet charge. Well I couldn't get myself a PC fast enough having enjoyed many of the "delights" the net had to offer whilst at uni.

The guy I lived with was studying for professional exams which meant I was at a bit of a loose end some weekday evenings. I was also single and horny. As many on here have discovered - internet + single + horny is not necessarily a winning combination.

I wasn't looking in a particularly desperate fashion and was often just chatting to various people (women of course). One girl I chatted to more and more having more in-depth and meaningful conversations. She was divorced but still quite young. Also single - and as it eventually transpired quite horny and wanted to meet up. She also didn't have a profile pic. Now at the time this was JUST about forgiveable given digital cameras had yet to take off and not everyone had easy access to a scanner.

Now I might lack common sense but I wasn't completely stoopid. I told her she'd seen my pic but I hadn't seen hers and that it wouldn't be *that* hard for her to get a pic. Anyway, besides which I simply wasn't going to meet up with someone when I didn't know what they looked like. Especially when they seem to have a night of molestation planned.

Fast forward a few weeks. I'm still chatting to this woman on and off and am comfortable discussing all sorts of things. She starts talking about sex and what she likes and manages to get me in to quite a frenzy. It culminates in her demanding I drive over to hers (was wasn't too far away, a 30 min drive) and partake in various activities including doing her up the dirtbox.

As I was leaving the flat, car keys in hand I thank my lucky stars I had a twinge of common sense. I went back to the PC and said nope - I was sticking to my guns and wasn't going to meet her without a pic. Well, it seemed she had wound herself up quite considerably as well because I got the response "ok, here it is [attachment] - now get round here, I'm aching for you".

It took a second or two to check the image was the right way up. What we had here was something to behold. Her body looked like someone with poor eyesight and attention to detail had made a bouncy castle in the model of Dawn French. That I'd have had trouble living with before getting to her face. Her face - imagine a Mdm Tussaud's waxwork model of John Prescott left too near a radiator for a few days that someone has then used as a stress relief toy. It took several minutes for the full horror of the situation to sink in. It also dawned on me that this was probably a pic she considered "flattering".

"r u still there????"

I shut Yahoo Messenger. Deleted my entire profile, email account included. And have never been back on it since late 1999. I now realise I was an early casualty of "grooming".

On the plus side I used udate a few years back and had a lot of fun and met some lovely lasses.

On the downsides the offers of bum sex haven't exactly been forthcoming since. Not from women anyway...

Be careful out there people :)

www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=REEUNMK&key=WME&sid=NZ
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 15:23, Reply)
to stagger somewhat on-topic
A drinking buddy of mine (who shall remain nameless just in case there are any other old 606'ers on the lurk) split up from his wife and went on a spectacular crawl of dating websites.

At one point he arranged to meet, met and shagged 5 women in about 8 days. Even the ones he didn't find interesting or attractive were fair game.
He then showed me some piccies of his conquests, lordy, the best must have been a 6 pinter and the worst, well to be honest the only way i would have sex with her was if you fed me Viagra and enough Rohypnol to lay out an elephant at the same time!

ps 30th? blimey might have to find one of my scrawny and drunk pictures to get me rightly into - figures.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 15:14, Reply)
On the merits of Miss Swipe
It's rather convenient to have this H o N diversion the week after I was lambasted for finding a certain Miss Swipe attractive from her colourful posts.

Nice to see I'm proved right for once.
(, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 15:06, Reply)

This question is now closed.

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