there ain't no party like a county court party
as you may know or can imagine, there is a whole myriad of rules about court proceedings. 99% of the time you stick to them, but sometimes clients just can't, or they get information at the last minute or something. well, some court officials take a practical view, and get the job done in the parties' best interests. and some... don't.

this particular case involved a standard directions hearing. i'd done everything i could, including sending draft directions to the other side some 3 weeks before the hearing. however, they were rather slow to respond. finally, we got it agreed with 1 week to go. the court clerk flatly refused to vacate the hearing, and he flatly and utterly refused to let us have a telephone hearing. because we were only 7 days before the hearing, not "no less than" 7 days before the hearing.

how can it possibly have been in the best interest of both parties to have to pay for a hearing, for something they had already agreed? anyway, he insisted, so we had no choice.

and on the day, i stood up to start the pleadings. the judge scowled at me and held up a commanding hand to stop me in my tracks. he boomed, "miss swipe. can you start by explaining why are you here? this should have been agreed weeks ago."

i pointed out as politely as you can that it WAS agreed. so he scowled at the signed draft order for a bit, and then said, "then explain to me, why aren't we doing this by way of telephone hearing?"

ffs. i felt like making the clerk eat a copy of the transcript.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 8:29, 5 replies)

That's it, blame the clerk for YOU not getting your arse in gear.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 8:40, closed)

my arse was in HIGH GEAR ACTUALLY

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 9:42, closed)

*cough* Now there's an image
sorry.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 9:55, closed)

high leather
(username failed moderation, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:53, closed)

Courier him a doorstep sandwich with a transcript filling
With a complimentary bumstick for his anal preferences
(Bonanzo Best Before:, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 20:43, closed)