Old RAF Appraisal quotes
A few years back, a selection of amusing quotes allegedly written on finalised RAF appraisals (character assassinations) was doing the rounds.

One of my favourites is - "His laziness and low standards of work have alienated the majority of his work mates to such an extent that being on shift with him is seen as a punishment".

I'll bang them in the replies as there is quite a few of them.

*pop*

Oh, apologies if someone has already posted these
(Irresponsible_Techie chin up, wet pants, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 19:51, 5 replies)

The rest
"His confident attitude and open humour made him a popular individual who had a refreshing attitude to life and an open adoration for Cilla Black, which I could never understand".


"Whilst not a particularly good NCO I believe he has the potential to have made an excellent officer".


" ****** has day dreamed his blissful way through another year of disembodied euphoria. Unruffled, easy going, un-resentful, unhurried, he drifts his quiet way through days and nights of shifts leaving barely a ripple".


"Under pressure ****** tends to take the bull by the throat rather than by the horns".


"His laziness and low standards of work have alienated the majority of his work mates to such an extent that being on shift with him is seen as a punishment".


" ****** is a cheerful young man with a pleasant smile and co-operative manner. At this point his good qualities cease".


"His contribution to the Sqn is minimal, on his good days he makes up the numbers. He has been sick for some time and we are investigating the possibility of having him posted 'non-effective', which is also an accurate description of him when he is here".


"In my opinion the best contribution he can make to the Royal Air Force is to leave".


"He swims and cycles to work to keep himself fit"


"To conclude, ****** has decided to terminate his life and career within the RAF for employment with the police force".


"He is single, but is in a stable relationship with a 3year old daughter. He therefore lives off station in his own house".


"She has provided much needed stiffening to the section during the tours of two unremarkable SNCOs".


" ****** has been involved in arranging for the care of his father who is recently deceased".


"Hopefully he will mature into an engineer, but at this time the best description of him is a well spoken twit."


" ****** is still immature and, at times, a scruffy airman, however, it is hoped that his recent marriage will offer him some sense of responsibility, and someone to do the ironing."


"The club he runs recently raised money for a local disabled person to have an electric chair."


"A beer drinking, swashbuckling, full member of the Air Force, the kind you would select when the going gets tough ****** has been very useful in teaching our new recruits the ins and outs of service life." (This was confirmed with the originator, whose further comment was: She's a real man".)


"Generally very sensible in his outlook, he has been involved in a few bizarre incidents, mainly associated with beer and bicycles, which have resulted in him sustaining some personal injuries. I'm glad to report that such incidents are becoming far less frequent, mainly because he now shows a more reasoned and consistent judgement, but also because people are less prepared to lend him their bicycles."


" ****** is tall, blond and handsome; every mother's dream of an ideal son-in-law. The trouble is that he doesn't differentiate between mothers and daughters."


"He is a keen supporter of York City but manages to stay cheerful during the football season."


"****** is a 9 to 4, as opposed to an 8 to 5 man, and the RAF will not miss him when he leaves - he has already retired"


"He can at best be likened to a hoop - when being driven by a stick performs reasonably well, but when the stick is taken away, wobbles precariously to a halt".


"Cpl ****** is awkward to talk to, and on occasions trying to get information out of him is like trying to get dead flies off a windscreen".


"I only met ****** once before his accident and it is difficult to assess someone in hospital, particularly when he is in an oxygen tent".
(Irresponsible_Techie chin up, wet pants, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 19:52, closed)

And a few more:
"I would not breed from this officer."

"**** is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot."

"**** believes that charm will cover his other deficiencies. He is mistaken in this belief."

"**** is a generally competent airman, with exception of his markmanship. However, it adds interest to the day, and the range officer recovered quite quickly."

"As with so many, **** joined the RAF to travel. His Flight Sergeant believes this would be best in a vertical direction, at high speed."
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 23:13, closed)

My fav..
His men follow him, but only out of curiosity.
(BeatsWork, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 0:25, closed)

The version I heard...
...ended "morbid curiosity"

Either way, it's a corker.
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 10:07, closed)

One from the Army...
"Sets himself low standards and consistently fails to achieve them"
(Sunlight70, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 11:52, closed)