Camping
1. Waking up next to a wide-eyed girlfriend with the tent pretty much collapsed around me after a night on the Pernod and blackcurrants.
"How the hell could you sleep through that?"
"Through what?"
She opened the tent flap to reveal an empty campsite where the evening before it had been full and pointed to the site bins where the remnants of several tents had been stuffed.

Apparently it'd been rather windy.

2. Same tent, same girlfriend, different site. After some afternoon delight the girlfriend opened the tent flap to reveal an empty space where my car, a suicidal old Mini had been parked.
"The car has gone!"
"Fuck off."
"No really, look. The car has gone!"
Wondering how the hell someone had managed to nick my car from outside our tent I stuffed my head outside and noticed the car had slipped off its handbrake and had careered down the campsite in a big arc, narrowly avoiding several tents.

We quit that site ASAP. The thought of what could have happened if it had gone a few feet to the left still gives me the chills.

3. Catching the sight of my mates mum in the nud through the thin canvas walls of the compartment me and my mate were sleeping in.

Camping wasn't all bad.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:36, 4 replies)

I've just done an involuntary shudder at the second one, fucking hell.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 10:59, closed)

Reminds me of something that happened to a mate at Glastonbury
Since she was singing, she had access to the performers' slightly more salubrious - and, crucially, guarded - camping sites. So she felt able to bring her 4-year-old daughter with her.

After arriving and getting set up, the kid had a nap in the tent while mum went to check out the tent she'd be performing in. Then she returned to collect the daughter, and they both went off to explore.

When they got back, they found that someone had parked a camper van on top of the tent. The tent where she'd left her daughter sleeping earlier in the day.

So much for a safer campsite...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 13:14, closed)

I hope windows were broken and tyres slashed

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:52, closed)

Or at least a note to the thoughtless driver
left across as many panels of paintwork as possible.
( Pig Bodine., Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:55, closed)