The joys of unemployment
Of which there are precisely none.

As to the various ways I have become unemployed? Well, there are some stories there in and of themselves.

The first time was with my first job, when I was working in customer service for Marks and Spencers, dealing with snarky housewives who wanted hampers for Christmas. Christ it was dull, but at least there was the company intranet to mess around on. Which wasn't the cause of my downfall, oddly enough. At the time I was at university. I'd just started in fact. The time was December 2001, and I was coming to the end of my first semester. Of course the trouble with first years, being away from home for the first time, often have the common sense of a stunned amoeba. Also, a lot of the sports students tended to have all the wit and social graces of a retarded rhinocerous. The best people to share a hall of residence with, I'm sure you'll agree.

Now, remember me mentioning the timing, and who I was living with at the time? Well, add a third ingredient commonly found in 1st year university students. That old friend, and occasional money drain, alcohol. These three combined, are terrible enough. Now, add a fourth ingredient- fire hoses. Indoors.

So- combine these four somewhat unorthodox equines of the apocolypse and you have yourself a perfect storm- albeit a wet and noisy one, as most of them are. So it does fit the description. Yes, this bunch of pissheads figured that it would be a good idea to have a waterfight, indoors, in the middle of December, using firehoses. At three in the morning, drunk out of their trees. Now of course the effect of this is that a perfect storm of this magnitude is not without problems. Mainly water dripping through the floors, into computers, causing a good deal of damage and wiping out dissertations. And how was I caught up in this? Well.

Fed up with the noise, I'd gone outside to quietly ask them to be quiet. Oh who was I kidding. I went out and started shouting. A lot. And then when they stopped, mainly due to the hall warden threatening to throw them off the nearest motorway bridge, they all went to bed, leaving a rather sodden hall of residence to drip dry into the previously mentioned computers.

And how was I caught up in this? Well, it seems someone had seen me shouting, and figured I was involved in the whole rather sodden, sorry and somewhat sordid affair. And therefore, I had to leave campus quick sharpish. Which meant going home, and then earning me my first ticket into the world of unemployment.

Oh dear.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 3 Apr 2009, 10:09, 1 reply)

wt
fuck

makes me so mad
(lemonadegame, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:21, closed)