pissport
As a young, single lad of working age, still living at home, my dad had little better to fritter his money away on than beers and holidays. Looking back at the photos, he could have started with a better haircut, shave and glasses, but this WAS the 70s.
One evening, he'd sunk the usual 10-or-so pints at the pub at the bottom of his street, before stumbling home and collapsing into bed. The beer took its usual effect and in the middle of the night he got up to go to the toilet.
Or so he thought.
What he in fact unloaded the 10 pints into was, in fact, the open top drawer of his bedside table, containing the passport and tickets he needed to go on holiday the next morning.

Cut to the next morning, he awoke late, and in his panic delved into the drawer to get his travel documents, the last thing he needed to pack. He wasn't expecting a puddle...
The drying-out process meant he missed the trains that his friends were on, and the subsequent ferry to France. Undeterred, he got on the next ones, only to find himself in France having missed his connecting train there too, and without the handy pass that had got him across England, or enough money for a new ticket for the next train, but probably with the disdain of border control after being handed a still damp and smelly passport. (These details may be wrong; I wasn't there, seeing as I wasn't going to be born for another 10+ years.)
After all of that, he bought a packet of cigarettes and went back home.

Remember kids, make sure it's a toilet.
(and now for someone completely different, Sun 17 Feb 2013, 21:54, 1 reply)

Believe me I've tried it.
Border guards will accept a piss soaked passport, but they won't let you through with an orange.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 4:27, closed)