Vandal at its worst.
A long time ago I learnt how to scuba dive. One night as my mate and I were ready to leave the classroom we spied across the road a pub. This pub hadn't existed the week before and so curiosity piqued, we went across to check it out.

I understand the scenes in movies where lights shine and angelic music is played whence opening the door. In we strolled to an empty pub - it had only opened that night.

It was better than any Xmas. The chalk for the pool cues had not been used, so we defiled that with the brand new cues, leaving our grimy paw prints all over those slender pale wooded rods. The carpet still had that new smell to it and so we trod all over like a romp in a flower garden. The toilets were cleaner than in a show room, not one comment upon the walls and toilet paper still all gummed up on the first leaf. I left water drops all over the sink from where I shook my hands like a dog coming out of the ocean. My mate left a drop of pee on the toilet seat. In the utter and absolute vandalous nature of this outing, I threw my ice cubes under the pool table - take that, you brand new carpet and shiny pool table legs.

Ah, seeing the white ball with blue chalk on it - that was me popping your cherry. No one else will ever do such a heinous thing first on that lush and shiny green felt. The juke box trembled in anticipation as we lit upon it with an evil giggle. What song will we celebrate its birth? Primal Scream - Rocks - was the first in line that night to be karoaked in our sour, drunken tones.

A free drink for being the first customer - a vodka shot we asked for - with us laughing to hear the agonising scream of the bottle being wrenched asunder with the seal being broken. The first coaster was brainlessly flung against the far wall.

A shiver of beastly sexuality shot through me that night. Sex and violence - I now understand it.
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:43, Reply)