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This is a question "You're doing it wrong"

Chthonic confesses: "Only last year did I discover why the lids of things in tubes have a recessed pointy bit built into them." Tell us about the facepalm moment when you realised you were doing something wrong.

(, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 13:23)
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One of my finer moments
I can’t remember exactly how it came into my possession, but at one time I owned a novelty green glow in the dark condom with a mouses head on the end.

One night I decided I’d give the soon to be lovely Mrs Ring of Fire a bit of a laugh by placing the thing on my engorged member and dancing around the darkened bedroom. The effect was that of a miniature light sabre frantically lashing out at unseen enemies and we had a laugh.

Must admit it wasn’t the easiest thing to get on. It was thick latex completely un-lubricated, a fact that became only too apparent when I tried to remove the wee fella. The fucker had welded it’s self to my skin. Pulling the end hurt, trying to roll it off hurt. As my ardour receded and my little soldier stood at ease I thought my problems were over, but no if anything the soft wrinkled skin seemed to grip the sticky rubber even more. Water, soap, extreme painful tugging, nothing would shift it.

Still, my plight was nothing compared to that of the soon to be lovely Mrs Ring of Fire. She was laughing so hard she was in danger of death from suffocation. Poor little petal.

“Why don’t you piss it off” she managed to gasp.

Off I trotted to the bathroom and kneeling in the bath I started to piss. Slowly at first, then more quickly the rubber and skin parted company until, with a hot gush of liquid over my lower half I was free.

I was soon back in bed, thoroughly deflated and feeling a little sorry for my self. Things got worse when the soon to be L.M.R.O.F attempted a consolation blow job. Even after a shower I still tasted like an old tyre apparently.
(, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:33, 10 replies)

Wonderful *click!*
(, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:43, closed)
Ah ha ha ha ha
*breathes*
HA ha Hahahah ah ha ha ha.
*wets pants*
(, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:46, closed)
Why?
Is mrs Ring of Fire soon to be lovely? Have tyou booked her in for cosmetic surgery?
(, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:17, closed)
Are you sure...
it wasn't a finger puppet?
(, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:46, closed)
No. I have put a finger puppet on me cock and that came off no problem.

(, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:09, closed)
i feel someone should say
Pics or it didn't happen, but I don't wanna see that.

And click
(, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:58, closed)
Was it actually a balloon?

(, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 15:00, closed)
' Even after a shower I still tasted like an old tyre apparently.'
Hahahahaha!
Clickety-Clickety Click..
(, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 17:09, closed)
old tyre still tastes better than cock

(, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 20:34, closed)
I'd probably choose an old tyre as well

(, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 21:17, closed)

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