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a nurse just told me i was handsome
but she might have been using it as a diversion because moments later she rammed a venflon into my arm
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:21, archived)
I got asked out by a nurse once in a walk-in centre, while I had my trousers down.
I was confused.
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:25, archived)
Not at all an awkward conversation then

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:26, archived)
Yeah, her timing was pretty atrocious.

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:27, archived)
Still, it's nice to be asked out

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:29, archived)
By the sounds of things
so was he.
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:26, archived)
Oh, burn.
:(
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:27, archived)
What?
There are MALE nurses as well you know. Sexist
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:35, archived)
Wait, are you saying that that Amorous Badger chick's not a girl?
Man, that's the last time I pander her.
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:38, archived)
I dunno!
She is deffo not a penguin I know that much.
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:43, archived)
*polite applause*

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:29, archived)
That's highly unprofessional of her

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:30, archived)
Also confusing.

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:34, archived)
Did you go out with her?

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:37, archived)
I did not.

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:38, archived)
Ah well.
A female GP touched my winky once. She had a student with her, so they swapped position and the student touched my winky too. I'd gone in with a bad knee.
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:40, archived)
Okay, your story wins.

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:41, archived)
was it just hanging in the way of your ganglion?
or could they both simply not resist the massive gravitational pull of your groin
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:45, archived)
While the student lass played with my knee
the GP stood by my side and inadvertently rested a hand on my cock. Then they swapped places. Took my mind of my torn cartilage quite nicely though. Didn't quite make up for being rested up for a fortnight and having to quit bar work.
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:56, archived)
that would have been too confusing for other poeple

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:38, archived)
SEXIST!

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:40, archived)
I assumed aardvark was straight
because statistically he is.
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:41, archived)
he has a ribbon of aaAAAaaAAAAAAAAaaAaaAAAaAAAAarRrrrrrrrRRRrRRrrRRrdvAaAaaAAaAaaAaaAaaaAAaaAaARRRRRrrrrRrrk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
where ever he goes (going nowhere near the ass of u and me thing)
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:45, archived)
I almost, but not quite, understand what you're saying.
I like it though, because it has the letter A repeatedly.
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:53, archived)
had you wandered into the
female only section?
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:30, archived)
alright
aaAAAaaAAAAAAAAaaAaaAAAaAAAAarRrrrrrrrRRRrRRrrRRrdvAaAaaAAaAaaAaaAaaaAAaaAaARRRRRrrrrRrrk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:32, archived)
:D
Alright JackAction, you sexy thing.
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:35, archived)
So sad.

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:25, archived)
i know. many people find the idea of me not being in the best of health a right tear jerker

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:27, archived)
Yeah, i dont even know who you are and i'm alright with it.

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:30, archived)
it'll probably hit you later on.

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:33, archived)
Unlikely - unless you are on fire.
I'd be sad if you were on fire.
Are you on fire?
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:35, archived)
f'shizzle

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:37, archived)
Oh dear.
I hope you recover soon from your terrible burns
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:38, archived)
thanks
send your tears to me in a jar and i'll use them to anoint satanic babies
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:41, archived)
I'll get on it right away

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:44, archived)
In once married a nurse
True story there
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:28, archived)
Ahhh
nurses are wonderful ain't they.
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:28, archived)
as a medical term it means "having hands which are too big"
sorry
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:29, archived)
Are we going to manage a Beadle joke here?

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:30, archived)
I'll give you a small hand if you manage it.

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:38, archived)
i thought it meant
i'll meet you in an alley witha cutlass
/crays
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:35, archived)
hi im tom cullen
spotify:track:1fpuBGs3LXj27u5NKt5Gaw (Supersonic by Jamiroquai)
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:32, archived)
I can't give a shit for someone
who won't tell me what's wrong with them.
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:33, archived)
i told you i have mrsa

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:34, archived)
What, seriously?
You're meant to catch it while you're in hospital, not go in with it.
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:37, archived)
i'm working to bring down the nhs from within

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:42, archived)
yeah
going in with mrsa will totally fuck them up. Honest.
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:57, archived)
hopefully you mean fist

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:33, archived)
told him he was fist?

(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:36, archived)
like i didn't already know i was fist
fuck sake
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:37, archived)
you make a lovely
fist
(, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:39, archived)