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Is there no end to Bald Monkey threads?
The slightly freaky looking til monkey at my local petrol station just threatened to arrest me? When was the last time you tried to overstep your authority?
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:31, archived)
BOW DOWN TO ME LOWER CLASS OF JOB PERSON ! FOR DON'T YOU KNOW, I AM A GREAT MAN, WITH A JOB THAT IS ABOVE YOURS.
FEAR ME AS I MENTION MY TAX BRACKET, I LAUGH AT YOUR N.I PAYMENTS, MINION.
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:32, archived)
That's spooky. Where you there?

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:35, archived)
I bet the 'til monkey' can spell.

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:37, archived)
don't your bore yourself with comments like that?

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:38, archived)
Yeah I should just post shit stories about my life and how I look down on other people while actually being in the wrong.

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:38, archived)
How was I wrong?
I'd paid 10 minutes later?
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:40, archived)
You left? your wallet in the? car and went? to buy petrol without money.
Sounds like? the thing a spastic? would do.
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:41, archived)
Whatever. I was very apologetic to start with, but I did laugh a bit when he started making threats and demanding I leave the car at the pump and walk home.

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:46, archived)
I'd like to meet this guy and shake his hand.

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:46, archived)
You should, you'd get on famously!

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:53, archived)
Yeah we both think you're a cunt so that's one thing we have in common I guess.
Maybe we could go down the pub, order a drink, drink it and then tell the bar monkey? we've forgot our wallets.
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:55, archived)
by law
you actually have 24 hours to return and pay for the petrol in an instance like this.
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:50, archived)
Fucking hell mike,
would do. I haven't heard that for YEARS.
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:54, archived)
My seething rage got the better of me.

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)
You were very wrong, my boy.
Just take it up the arse and deal with it. Maybe this'll blow over by the end of the week.
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:42, archived)
Ahahaha.
Aww, are you some type of lawyer or something?
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:55, archived)
lol x

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:38, archived)
Why did he threaten to arrest you?

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:33, archived)
forgot my wallet, said I'd be back in ten minutes to pay, refused to leave my car and walk.

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:37, archived)
You sound like a fucking dick.

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:38, archived)
Yep.

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:39, archived)
That was a little silly.

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:41, archived)
Yep, but not illegal.

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:42, archived)
Actually the cashier was in the right to think that you were making off without paying.
Something that is a common occurrence at petrol stations.
For you to take umbrage at someone who thought that it was going to happen makes you look a bit like an idiot, even before the rampant question-mark usage and bad spelling
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:43, archived)
NO INTENTION
intention to permanently deprive, go to the back of the office
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:48, archived)
No intention from whose point of view? The cashier's?
Remember it was the prevention of the crime that the cashier was concerned about.
To prevent the crime it would be unreasonable to try to identify intention. The cashier was faced with a set of facts that led to previous crimes and so acted accordingly.
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:53, archived)

I knew you wouldn't be able to resist. It truly is the career for you
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)
Goddammit!

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)
Sound plausible but what he does does and says is irrelevant .
I thinks he was just using it as an excuse to get some payback on the shitty customers he deals with day in day out.
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 14:13, archived)
Congratulations on joining the Shitty-Customer Club, dickhead

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)
I think your only calling me a dickhead to try and look cool in front of the big boys

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 14:33, archived)
No he wasn't, I paid. He overplayed his hand by going into supercop mode.

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:51, archived)
Wait a sec, you went into a shop, forgot your wallet, tried to walk out with the goods saying you'll pay later, and then decided _he_ was the prick?
What fucking world are you living in?
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:53, archived)
shop...goods...what the fuck are you talking about.
it's a tank of fuel, not a bottle of WKD stuffed down my tracksuit.
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:55, archived)
Ahahahahaha
D
N
I
W
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:58, archived)
If that confuses you so much just change 'shop' for 'petrol station' and 'goods' for 'petrol.'

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 14:00, archived)
Ok, you went to a retail comercial premises and obtained the item they were selling... upon reaching the point of financial transaction it happened to be that you forgot your means of purchasing their goods.
It was then, upon realising your mistake, you wanted to take the goods away from the retail premises with promise of full payment upon your return. Something which the person in charge of the buisneses did not agree with and threatened should you remove the goods from their property you shall face legal athorities for theft, and as such, he is the one in the wrong?
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 14:01, archived)
...retail commercial premises....what's wrong with you?
I went to a garage and filled up, I'd forgotten my wallet. Due to the unique nature of unconfined highly flammable liquids I couldn't give the cunting stuff back, so I told them I was going to get my wallet and did so.

HE threatened to arrest me himself. Not phone the Police, do it himself. I laughed alot.
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 14:24, archived)
Being that much of an ignoramus should really be illegal.
I bet the til monkey was thinking: 'What a fucking ignoramus. I bet he continually uses question marks incorrectly.' Still, you've had the last laugh here by telling everyone how fucking stupid you are.
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:46, archived)
Question mark?

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:34, archived)
Has anybody seen all of my question marks. I seem to have misplaced them somewhere.

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:35, archived)
I may have some spare ones

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:42, archived)

I think someone who is the fill-and-run type would also be highly likely to do other kinds of thieving too, perhaps we should arrange an identity parade
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:43, archived)
just delete it all?
it's not going well for you and we all prefer Baldmonkey? off out now? bye? Love you?
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:42, archived)
fuck you

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:47, archived)
taking the internet seriously? bad day at the office? that secretary you like not laugh at your joke?
fuck me?
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:50, archived)
You win

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)
Raiders of the Londis

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:44, archived)
Taking Private Property

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:46, archived)
Ocean's 11idl

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:47, archived)
An Englishman Went To A Petrol Station And Came Out Looking Like A Cunt

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:47, archived)
Hahahaha

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:52, archived)
that was me earlier!

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 14:53, archived)
Tell you what?
Fuck off? back? to qftw?
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:44, archived)
His profile counter matches.
Nice call.
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:47, archived)
It is well within my remit to have people arrested
I like doing it.
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:48, archived)
It's the only thing that brings you joy as you shuffle closer to the coffin.

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)
Well that was really quite uncalled for

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)
Yeah, that was harsh, sorry dude.
I owe you a pint to make up for that.

(This is me saying I would like to go for drinks with you in the future)
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 14:02, archived)
No winkie touching
I'm very exclusive.
(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 14:08, archived)
Were you drinking driving again, as well as stealing fuel?

(, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:53, archived)