Late work amusement
I'm still at work, which sucks

But we've had some telesales company calling us offering us mobile phones from taiwan or india or somewhere. They don't seem to realise that we own a whole series of phone numbers (for direct lines) that have the same beginning and a different last two digits. With me? Ok, so after they'd called about ten times and we'd told them to stop, they persisted. So we decided to have some fun. So far we've:

- put the phone by the radio and made them listen to LBC for about fifteen minutes

- played the Happy Tree Friends Theme to them

- burped and farted down the phone

- accepted and then given 10 downing street as our address

- used a voice synthesizer to pretend to be Steven Hawking and told them to fuck off in his robo-voice

- told them we knew where they lived and that we would kill them if they didn't stop calling

- threatened legal action

- played the "you can't spell" song at them

Have you got any suggestions should they call again?
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:19, archived)

Blow a whistle down the phone.

( Hankster, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:20, archived)

are they calling on more than one line?
get them to try and sell phones to themselves.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:21, archived)

^ this

( mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:30, archived)

Hold them on one line
until another phones on another line.
Then cross the calls.
(Nothing to see, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:21, archived)

haha
they won't stay on the line long enough

but they did just call us back and play their weird foreign radio down the phone at us - we've started a war!
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:23, archived)

haha
they're probably as bored as you are then.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:24, archived)

They'll stay on
if you keep them thinking they've almost made a sale...
(Nothing to see, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:29, archived)

Repeat everything they say back to them
in a spazzy voice. Never fails.
(Andy-, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:25, archived)

I would if I could understand what they were saying
they all have spazzy voices

hang on, perhaps it's some elaborate joke?
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:26, archived)

I think the Buffy Sweary keyboard needs to be hauled out
"MINGE" is my favourite.
( Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:26, archived)

good plan
*waits for them to ring back*
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:27, archived)

Tell them that their name is not really 'Julie' or whatever name they gave
I did this once, they kept on saying that it was their name! I asked them to spell it and they couldn't
(Hartlepool15 aka []Chips[] So you don't have to, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:28, archived)

brilliant
still waiting for them to call again
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:29, archived)

They couldn't spell their own name????
I nearly spat my wine out (then didn't)
( in vino veritas, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:31, archived)

You could tell her name wasn't because they were
clearly in India and I don't think Julie is much of an Indian name.
Oh yeah they even denied being out of the UK
(Hartlepool15 aka []Chips[] So you don't have to, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:36, archived)

Leicester and Nottingham
are technically parts of the UK
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:44, archived)

Pretend to die whilst talking to them, and never answer again for three months.
If they are still calling pretend to be someone else who bought your house after you died.
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:30, archived)

ask them to describe themselves
then ask what they're wearing
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 22:52, archived)