Surely the world's worst pun is:A man walks into a restaurant and orders squid.
'Certainly Sir' says Gervaise the waiter. 'Would you like to choose your squid from this tank?'
'I'll have that little green one with the moustache' says the customer.
'Oh no!' replies Gervaise. 'He's my favourite! He's so small, cute and friendly. Surely you'd prefer one of the bigger meatier ones?'
'No,' says the customer. 'It's got to be that one.'
So Gervaise gets the little green squid out and puts him on the chopping block, raises his knife and... the little squid looks up and smiles at him, twitching his bushy moustache into a big friendly grin.
'It's no good,' says Gervaise. 'I can't do it. I'll have to ask Hans who does the washing up. He's a big tough brute, he'll be able to do the evil deed.'
So out comes Hans, while Gervaise disappears off in tears. Hans picks up the knife, raises it to chop the little squid's head off and ... once again the little friendly squid looks up and smiles, wiggling his little legs and twitching his little moustache.
So Hans too finds it impossible to kill him. So the moral of the story is ...
Hans that do dishes is as soft as Gervaise with mild green hairy lip squid.
Edit: Woo of course :)
(,
Wed 9 Jul 2003, 19:13,
archived)
'Certainly Sir' says Gervaise the waiter. 'Would you like to choose your squid from this tank?'
'I'll have that little green one with the moustache' says the customer.
'Oh no!' replies Gervaise. 'He's my favourite! He's so small, cute and friendly. Surely you'd prefer one of the bigger meatier ones?'
'No,' says the customer. 'It's got to be that one.'
So Gervaise gets the little green squid out and puts him on the chopping block, raises his knife and... the little squid looks up and smiles at him, twitching his bushy moustache into a big friendly grin.
'It's no good,' says Gervaise. 'I can't do it. I'll have to ask Hans who does the washing up. He's a big tough brute, he'll be able to do the evil deed.'
So out comes Hans, while Gervaise disappears off in tears. Hans picks up the knife, raises it to chop the little squid's head off and ... once again the little friendly squid looks up and smiles, wiggling his little legs and twitching his little moustache.
So Hans too finds it impossible to kill him. So the moral of the story is ...
Hans that do dishes is as soft as Gervaise with mild green hairy lip squid.
Edit: Woo of course :)
