I had a housemate at unithat rarely used the toilet and when he moved out we found numerous containers of shit piss and puke!
The smell from him and his room was intolerable and it wasnt helped when he caught campylobacter (food poisoning) and had the squits for 2 weeks before he went to the docs.
He also took copious amounts of amphetaimne and LSD which made for so many moments of
Danblez,
Mon 17 Nov 2003, 14:42,
archived)
flatmate and poo related storymy flatmate, who's nickname was 'dog' managed to shit himself on the 5 minute walk from the student union to our flat. he then thought 'what the hell' and had a piss in his trousers.
what's worse is he refused to throw the trousers away. he tried to dry them out on his radiator and stank out the flat with the smell of baked urine and shit until everyone was retching at the smell and forced the filthy bastard to get rid of them.
he has also admitted to fingering a lady dog (hence his nickname) shitting himself on his mums white sofa, had a fat woman fetish, never, ever washed, could make a strong man retch at the sight of him eating and a million different other habits of hidiousness.
he was very gullable as well, my other flatmate made 'hilarious' prank calls that convinced him his life was in danger. i however just convinced him that guiness is made my irish peasants treading peat in big vats
(what's worse is he refused to throw the trousers away. he tried to dry them out on his radiator and stank out the flat with the smell of baked urine and shit until everyone was retching at the smell and forced the filthy bastard to get rid of them.
he has also admitted to fingering a lady dog (hence his nickname) shitting himself on his mums white sofa, had a fat woman fetish, never, ever washed, could make a strong man retch at the sight of him eating and a million different other habits of hidiousness.
he was very gullable as well, my other flatmate made 'hilarious' prank calls that convinced him his life was in danger. i however just convinced him that guiness is made my irish peasants treading peat in big vats
monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com,
Mon 17 Nov 2003, 18:02,
archived)
it was a double bluffof course it is.
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com,
Wed 19 Nov 2003, 18:11,
archived)
Saw the topic, searched for Dog, and it didnt let me down! Cheers Stark!Ahhh, good old Dog. Hs nickname was actually Cod, cos it was his surname only shortened, but we all called him Dog as it suited him more!
Lived in the house with me and "Stark" and a few others for a year. During that time, not once was his window opened. It didnt help matters that he spanked the monkey (burped the bishop, played the flesh flute, whatever you like to call it) at least three times a day. the stink was horrid.
Being from sheffield, i think he had a thing about not wasting water. though he did it to such a point as he didnt have showers or baths. in fact me and Stark had to go and purchase some water pistols and when he emerged from his room, we would squirt him from behind an upturned sofa, hoping he would get the message.
He used to buy whole avocado pears, and eat them raw, scooping the innards out with a spoon, then scraping his teeth over the skins.it looked foul, and to this day, i just cant eat guacamole, as it reminds me of him.
we had ways of getting him back though. we got loads of free stuff (catalogues, cds, bibles, private detective pamphlets etc) sent to him. not a day would go by when he didnt receive something. We also managed to get a free sample of ferret food for him... hehehehe... he used to love eating wheetos, and we got the packet of foul smelling + shaped ferret food and put them in his wheetos... he took the packet out, emptied them into a bowl and ate them in from of us. he said something tasted strange, and me and Stark were trying not to kill ourselves with laughter. he then went on to say he thought of writing to the manufacturers and complaining that his weetos tasted funny and were a different shape!
We were watching a porn documentary on channel 4 (yeah, i know, nothing else was on, honest!) when a porn shop in London was shown. he then said "ive been there!" and proceeded to show us his purchase, a magazine of women, who if they had a large scoop/spoon in their hand would have doubled up quite well as a JCB! they were huge! and some of the pages were stuck together! euuuuch!
the flatmate that made the prank calls was me! i couldnt resist. i used to go home at weekends, to work, and one night i thought i would have a bit of fun. i started by phoning up to ask to speak to Johnny, then getting all irate when Johnny (who didnt exist) wouldnt come to the phone. then about 3 mins after i had put the phone down, i rang back and said i was Johnny, and was there any phone calls for me.. "Johnny" got mad at Dog, and said that he had a mate in BT who could tell me what his name was and where he lived.. he fell for it! I rang him back the next day to tell him who he was, where he was, and to watch out! i eventually told him that it was me and he was a bit upset, understandably.. but then he did drive me, "Stark" and quite a few other people mad over the course of the year!
(,
Wed 19 Nov 2003, 1:25,
archived)
Lived in the house with me and "Stark" and a few others for a year. During that time, not once was his window opened. It didnt help matters that he spanked the monkey (burped the bishop, played the flesh flute, whatever you like to call it) at least three times a day. the stink was horrid.
Being from sheffield, i think he had a thing about not wasting water. though he did it to such a point as he didnt have showers or baths. in fact me and Stark had to go and purchase some water pistols and when he emerged from his room, we would squirt him from behind an upturned sofa, hoping he would get the message.
He used to buy whole avocado pears, and eat them raw, scooping the innards out with a spoon, then scraping his teeth over the skins.it looked foul, and to this day, i just cant eat guacamole, as it reminds me of him.
we had ways of getting him back though. we got loads of free stuff (catalogues, cds, bibles, private detective pamphlets etc) sent to him. not a day would go by when he didnt receive something. We also managed to get a free sample of ferret food for him... hehehehe... he used to love eating wheetos, and we got the packet of foul smelling + shaped ferret food and put them in his wheetos... he took the packet out, emptied them into a bowl and ate them in from of us. he said something tasted strange, and me and Stark were trying not to kill ourselves with laughter. he then went on to say he thought of writing to the manufacturers and complaining that his weetos tasted funny and were a different shape!
We were watching a porn documentary on channel 4 (yeah, i know, nothing else was on, honest!) when a porn shop in London was shown. he then said "ive been there!" and proceeded to show us his purchase, a magazine of women, who if they had a large scoop/spoon in their hand would have doubled up quite well as a JCB! they were huge! and some of the pages were stuck together! euuuuch!
the flatmate that made the prank calls was me! i couldnt resist. i used to go home at weekends, to work, and one night i thought i would have a bit of fun. i started by phoning up to ask to speak to Johnny, then getting all irate when Johnny (who didnt exist) wouldnt come to the phone. then about 3 mins after i had put the phone down, i rang back and said i was Johnny, and was there any phone calls for me.. "Johnny" got mad at Dog, and said that he had a mate in BT who could tell me what his name was and where he lived.. he fell for it! I rang him back the next day to tell him who he was, where he was, and to watch out! i eventually told him that it was me and he was a bit upset, understandably.. but then he did drive me, "Stark" and quite a few other people mad over the course of the year!
hey mate,haha, i mentioned the free crap and the ferret food on the worst prank thread. forgot all about the water pistols though.
also didn't mention piling all the furniture in the flat up against his door, trapping him in. and on a different occasion, accidentally smashing his door in. er two separate occasions.
hmm, aardvark and myself are probably in this thread somewhere as the subjects.
in our defence he did used to eat smoked mackrel in the same way as the avocardos. it would send me running, throwing up from the room at the sight.
(also didn't mention piling all the furniture in the flat up against his door, trapping him in. and on a different occasion, accidentally smashing his door in. er two separate occasions.
hmm, aardvark and myself are probably in this thread somewhere as the subjects.
in our defence he did used to eat smoked mackrel in the same way as the avocardos. it would send me running, throwing up from the room at the sight.
monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com,
Wed 19 Nov 2003, 18:05,
archived)
yayi turn on the radio at the exact words of '...ing ferret food' i feel all warm and fluffy.
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com,
Fri 21 Nov 2003, 16:40,
archived)
Well....Searched through the rest of the message board.. no other mention of ferret food..
Can anyone else confirm whether the Dog story was on air?
(,
Sat 22 Nov 2003, 0:45,
archived)
Can anyone else confirm whether the Dog story was on air?
no it really wasthey talked about the jcb comparisons of dogs ladeeez of choice.
what the _fuck was that phone call i got on saturday by the way?
(what the _fuck was that phone call i got on saturday by the way?
monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com,
Sun 23 Nov 2003, 12:44,
archived)