whippet hatchI have a lovely flatmate known as the whippet. He is normally well behaved but occasionally he is not.
I went out one night and was returning home at about 4am when I got a phone call from flatmate #2 “why don’t we have a front door, what the watermelon have you done to the front door?”.
Odd.
Got home to find a very angry and very drunk flatmate #2 sitting next to the front door, with its newly created ‘whippet flap’. The whippet was comatose on the couch. Turns out the whippet had gone out, got hammered, come home, decided that using his keys was far too conventional and kicked a nice little whippet sized hole in the front door. Flatmate #2 was none too pleased with this and stormed round the flat threatening to kill the whippet. Eventually the whippet awoke and stood by the front door giggling his tits off (mushys), then said in a very sober tone 'shit, doors are expensive aren't they'.
Not exactly a hellish experience, but quite a surreal one at the time. We have recently had a new front door fitted (4 months later), the first thing the whippet did when he saw it was give it a few kicks and complain that it was too flimsy.
(,
Fri 21 Nov 2003, 13:04,
archived)
I went out one night and was returning home at about 4am when I got a phone call from flatmate #2 “why don’t we have a front door, what the watermelon have you done to the front door?”.
Odd.
Got home to find a very angry and very drunk flatmate #2 sitting next to the front door, with its newly created ‘whippet flap’. The whippet was comatose on the couch. Turns out the whippet had gone out, got hammered, come home, decided that using his keys was far too conventional and kicked a nice little whippet sized hole in the front door. Flatmate #2 was none too pleased with this and stormed round the flat threatening to kill the whippet. Eventually the whippet awoke and stood by the front door giggling his tits off (mushys), then said in a very sober tone 'shit, doors are expensive aren't they'.
Not exactly a hellish experience, but quite a surreal one at the time. We have recently had a new front door fitted (4 months later), the first thing the whippet did when he saw it was give it a few kicks and complain that it was too flimsy.
scarred for lifelast night I was washing my face, and through the splashes heard my roommate calling me from her bathroom. "Uh, just so you know I'm naked" she said. okay, then. I walk slowly in and she asks me a horrible question. "have you ever had any problems, you know, down there?" I tried to keep my jaw from dropping. No and if I did I wouldn't tell you, well thats what I wanted to say, but I decided a simple "no" would be better. To make a long story short she had a bump on her stuff and thought it was an STD. Sooooo, I had to, of course while she sat in the bathroom, look up the symptoms of herpes to see if she had it. Then try to diagnose it, then she decided it didn't look like herpes. So, she couldn't really see the "bump" and i had to...*gasp* look at her stuff to see what I thought it was. eww.
I may be scarred for life.
(I may be scarred for life.
Lisette von Falcon,
Fri 21 Nov 2003, 13:44,
archived)
Grey Hair.Bad Housemates - I've had a few...
Number 1 - shared accomodation the first year...15 people in a big house. One of them happened to be a paranoid schitzophrenic
He thought we were communicating with him through secret messages on the doors - to the point that he nearly beat someone up over it. He used to beg and grovel for weed (which he smoked 24/7) if u had any - and then come and steal it anyway. He used to go outside at 3am and kick bins and concrete bollards around while muttering loudly.
He used to threaten everyone - until he picked on the wrong person and i came back to find him cowering in the corner surrounded by about 8 pissed off rugby players!
The last straw came when he punched one of my housmates in the face and then jumped on a table howling. he then threatened to have one of the girls raped, scratched someones car with his keys and dissapeared into the night...got a few mystery phone calls from him - but seeing as i only know one person with a strong brum accent its not so mysterious really.
House Number 2
Moved in with my best freinds...
1 - boy went completely off the rails - doing loads of ket and coke - started sleeping with the dealer before landing himself in lots of debt. we had people knocking on the door screaming WHERE's XXXX I'LL RIP HIS FUC*ING FACE OFF!!!
2. My best freind and his freind ... lovely people initially - but they were toffs and needed a mother too look after them - if i didnt clean then the kitchen would look like withnails, the living room would have rubbish piled up to ur knees and the bathroom would smell of piss and shit...they also developed a bit of a coke addiction and become the most unpleasant arrogant cranberry ive ever met.
3. my (soon to be) ex. turned out she was a total junkie - constantly boshing pills, speed and ket - on a permenant comedown - also had the heater on 24/7 so she left us with an gas bill of over £1000 for the year before she finally ran out and didnt pay anything.
She slept with the gas man - and anyone else who was stupid enough to put it in her...she left a bloody tampon on the floor, her cd player was broken and would loudly loop 20 seconds of one particular song for days at a time. She invited smackheads round to the flat - including one that decided that they were going to move in for a few days - and so nicked our backdoor key. Her freinds also spat on me and nicked food.
Worst of all...after sleeping with the whole of the city and managing to catch herpes - she told me that I'd given it to her - which lead to 2 years of HELL - Until I was finally told by a number of doctors that I was totally clean!
I now live with some delightful chinese housemates who appologise if they don't have a DVD that i want to borrow...much better - but the grey hairs aren't going to dissapear from those 2 years...
(,
Fri 21 Nov 2003, 14:10,
archived)
Number 1 - shared accomodation the first year...15 people in a big house. One of them happened to be a paranoid schitzophrenic
He thought we were communicating with him through secret messages on the doors - to the point that he nearly beat someone up over it. He used to beg and grovel for weed (which he smoked 24/7) if u had any - and then come and steal it anyway. He used to go outside at 3am and kick bins and concrete bollards around while muttering loudly.
He used to threaten everyone - until he picked on the wrong person and i came back to find him cowering in the corner surrounded by about 8 pissed off rugby players!
The last straw came when he punched one of my housmates in the face and then jumped on a table howling. he then threatened to have one of the girls raped, scratched someones car with his keys and dissapeared into the night...got a few mystery phone calls from him - but seeing as i only know one person with a strong brum accent its not so mysterious really.
House Number 2
Moved in with my best freinds...
1 - boy went completely off the rails - doing loads of ket and coke - started sleeping with the dealer before landing himself in lots of debt. we had people knocking on the door screaming WHERE's XXXX I'LL RIP HIS FUC*ING FACE OFF!!!
2. My best freind and his freind ... lovely people initially - but they were toffs and needed a mother too look after them - if i didnt clean then the kitchen would look like withnails, the living room would have rubbish piled up to ur knees and the bathroom would smell of piss and shit...they also developed a bit of a coke addiction and become the most unpleasant arrogant cranberry ive ever met.
3. my (soon to be) ex. turned out she was a total junkie - constantly boshing pills, speed and ket - on a permenant comedown - also had the heater on 24/7 so she left us with an gas bill of over £1000 for the year before she finally ran out and didnt pay anything.
She slept with the gas man - and anyone else who was stupid enough to put it in her...she left a bloody tampon on the floor, her cd player was broken and would loudly loop 20 seconds of one particular song for days at a time. She invited smackheads round to the flat - including one that decided that they were going to move in for a few days - and so nicked our backdoor key. Her freinds also spat on me and nicked food.
Worst of all...after sleeping with the whole of the city and managing to catch herpes - she told me that I'd given it to her - which lead to 2 years of HELL - Until I was finally told by a number of doctors that I was totally clean!
I now live with some delightful chinese housemates who appologise if they don't have a DVD that i want to borrow...much better - but the grey hairs aren't going to dissapear from those 2 years...
friendsYour new friends sound quite nice though.
(
Beve The Spaniard broke off his horse's head,
Fri 21 Nov 2003, 16:15,
archived)