The great Kit Kat Car scamI was an unknown first year undergraduate at uni and realised that although there were about 400 people living in my particular college, I only knew a smattering of people.
The year is 1997
I was in the college bar and pretty hammered and went to the chocolate machine to get a kit kat. I looked at the wrapper and there was a promotion offering a free bar of chocolate if you had a winning wrapper. It was a well advertised campaign on telly etc.
I got back to the table where I was sitting and opened the wrapper. Inside it said 'Congratulations - You're a winner!'
Being drunk and a bit of a knob I jumped up and shouted 'Yes!!!' conversation went a bit like this:
'what?'
'I'm a winner'
'what have you won?'
'A car'
Immediately I said this our table was swamped with people trying to get a look at the first year who'd just won a car.
Then it started getting tricky. People wanted to see the wrapper, so I gladly flashed them the 'you're a winner' phrase. Then followed a general stampede to the chocolate machine. Come on! the chances of two kit kats winning cars from the same vending machine can't be high. Also the IQ of late nineties Cambridge students can't be that high either because they all got the same promotional wrappers as I did and some even won chocolate bars - no sign of anything offering a car.
Then they started asking questions. I figured a good car for Kit Kat to give away would be a Red Fiat Punto and I decided to give no more information away than that apart from that it would be delivered to my parents' house in Essex and that I didn't drive.
So, when people asked anything else I pretended to be really shy and just ran out of the room. This earned me dozens of hugs and 'isn't he sweet - stop bothering him etc' from female members of college. After three days every single person in college knew me and stories started to filter back from town. People talking about this kid that had won a car from a Kit Kat blah blah blah.
Then it started to get interesting. A fellow first year was desparate to get a story into the universtity newspaper 'Varsity'. I agreed to help on one condition - that she wouldn't interview me but that, instead, I would issue some quotes.
I started off with 'obviously, I was over the moon' and worked my way up to 'I've decided to donate it to charity because cars cause too much environmental damage - and I prefer my trusty bike, anyway' i also slipped in a couple of 'it couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke etc.'
I still have copies of the article and it still makes me laugh out loud to read it.
I started to get calls from major newspapers about the story which scared me a little so I made that my last interview. The story did, however, make the university Alumni magazine and a year later I read the following in the same magazine:
'First year natural scientist XXX XXXXX has donated a car won in a competition to charity. As he explained 'cars cause too much environmental damage and I prefer my trusty bike anyway'
I don't know whether this is the biggest lie told but I did manage to con the entire population of Cambridge University and become an overnight college hero due to a complete and total utter lie, backed up with more utter bollocks. And I got laid off the back of it:)
(,
Wed 26 Nov 2003, 15:12,
archived)
The year is 1997
I was in the college bar and pretty hammered and went to the chocolate machine to get a kit kat. I looked at the wrapper and there was a promotion offering a free bar of chocolate if you had a winning wrapper. It was a well advertised campaign on telly etc.
I got back to the table where I was sitting and opened the wrapper. Inside it said 'Congratulations - You're a winner!'
Being drunk and a bit of a knob I jumped up and shouted 'Yes!!!' conversation went a bit like this:
'what?'
'I'm a winner'
'what have you won?'
'A car'
Immediately I said this our table was swamped with people trying to get a look at the first year who'd just won a car.
Then it started getting tricky. People wanted to see the wrapper, so I gladly flashed them the 'you're a winner' phrase. Then followed a general stampede to the chocolate machine. Come on! the chances of two kit kats winning cars from the same vending machine can't be high. Also the IQ of late nineties Cambridge students can't be that high either because they all got the same promotional wrappers as I did and some even won chocolate bars - no sign of anything offering a car.
Then they started asking questions. I figured a good car for Kit Kat to give away would be a Red Fiat Punto and I decided to give no more information away than that apart from that it would be delivered to my parents' house in Essex and that I didn't drive.
So, when people asked anything else I pretended to be really shy and just ran out of the room. This earned me dozens of hugs and 'isn't he sweet - stop bothering him etc' from female members of college. After three days every single person in college knew me and stories started to filter back from town. People talking about this kid that had won a car from a Kit Kat blah blah blah.
Then it started to get interesting. A fellow first year was desparate to get a story into the universtity newspaper 'Varsity'. I agreed to help on one condition - that she wouldn't interview me but that, instead, I would issue some quotes.
I started off with 'obviously, I was over the moon' and worked my way up to 'I've decided to donate it to charity because cars cause too much environmental damage - and I prefer my trusty bike, anyway' i also slipped in a couple of 'it couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke etc.'
I still have copies of the article and it still makes me laugh out loud to read it.
I started to get calls from major newspapers about the story which scared me a little so I made that my last interview. The story did, however, make the university Alumni magazine and a year later I read the following in the same magazine:
'First year natural scientist XXX XXXXX has donated a car won in a competition to charity. As he explained 'cars cause too much environmental damage and I prefer my trusty bike anyway'
I don't know whether this is the biggest lie told but I did manage to con the entire population of Cambridge University and become an overnight college hero due to a complete and total utter lie, backed up with more utter bollocks. And I got laid off the back of it:)
YES!!!!I heard about you, Were you at Robinson? well done, best lie yet!
(,
Wed 26 Nov 2003, 15:46,
archived)
The best one so far!Of course it could all be a gigantic lie?
(
Beve The Spaniard broke off his horse's head,
Wed 26 Nov 2003, 17:36,
archived)
if it said you are a winnerWhat did you really win? Another KitKat?
(
Weevilgrl,
Thu 27 Nov 2003, 2:44,
archived)