Gullible Children...I remember whilst on vacation from uni my parents had my 5 year old cousin over for a while. Of course, me being the bastard that I am, I decided to fill his little noggin with tons of filth. At one point in time we had convinced him that German chocolate cakes actually contained German casualties from world war two, and that french factories were using gigantic machines to squeeze the victims into a rather disgusting paste. We also convinced him that Spam was made of people, and that Switzerland stays neutral due to the fact that they have a dirty little secret involving the true ingredients of the product. To this day, I still wonder if the kid laid awake at night, fearful of being turned into either paste or assorted other unidentifiable meat products.
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Thu 27 Nov 2003, 0:23,
archived)
Have you ever tried Mexican Laughing Beans?Being at a loose end one day I asked my 10 year old sister if she had ever tried eating Mexican Laughing Beans. When she told me that she hadn’t I convinced her that they were the best fun in the whole world and she shouldn’t miss out. I had her close her eyes and popped a teaspoon of dried chillis into her mouth. After she carried on a bit I explained that I had laughed and therefore they had worked. Life continued and no-one was particularly scarred by the experience until our six year old cousin came to visit six months later. My sister was left alone with her and she remembered the Mexican Laughing Beans. Perhaps her imagination is better than mine or maybe she is just plain sick, but this time the joke went too far. She managed to convince our cousin that the Mexican Laughing beans were the best fun in the world. She agreed to try them. Kate then explained to her that she would have to be tied to a kitchen chair in case she injured herself laughing so much. The poor little six year old agreed and patiently submitted while Kate bound her to a chair using Mum’s headscarves. She should have been a sailor considering the knots she tied. With a straight face Kate then administered a very unhealthy dose of Mexican Laughing Beans. Still bound to the chair, my cousin began screaming within seconds and proceeded to have some form of conniption which involved foaming of the mouth and thrashing around on the floor. Everybody came running into the room. Kate was found stifling a laugh and looking very sheepish. She tried to blame me but I denied all knowledge.
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Thu 27 Nov 2003, 6:11,
archived)
long time listenerfirst time boarder - hi all.
so. lying. did alot at school, had issue with homework, but this particular episode was to do with my best friends burds' maths assignment.
she went to an all girls school and had been chased for this particular assignment for some time - and her luck had run out.
she didnt have the work to hand in and had run out of excuses. could her boyfrind or myself think of something to get her out of this fix?
we did. bomb threats. from random payphones. her school was evacuated.
she got out of maths. as did everyone else for the day.
(im going a little further south than the equator for that whopper)
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Thu 27 Nov 2003, 9:23,
archived)
so. lying. did alot at school, had issue with homework, but this particular episode was to do with my best friends burds' maths assignment.
she went to an all girls school and had been chased for this particular assignment for some time - and her luck had run out.
she didnt have the work to hand in and had run out of excuses. could her boyfrind or myself think of something to get her out of this fix?
we did. bomb threats. from random payphones. her school was evacuated.
she got out of maths. as did everyone else for the day.
(im going a little further south than the equator for that whopper)
Esate Agent rip offI was an Estate Agent back in the 80s, lying was of course part of the job...
Went to value a nice little flat in a village just outside London, worth about 50k at the time. Bloke selling it was doing so on behalf of his late father. He was from some northern hell hole where houses were 12 for a shilling and had no idea of southern prices.
He said "would it be easy to sell?",
I said "ummm welll probably ok" (lie 1),
"as a matter of fact im looking for somewhere to live myself" (lie 2)
"tell you what, its worth about 30k (lie 3) I will give you 32k for it cos its just what I need (lie 4).."
"Cor! as much as that!" says northern man,
we shook on it, the deal was done and I bought it.
Sold it straight away to another estate agent for 50k which was probably about 2k under price.
Now, call me a lying, scheming git but if you were selling a house and an estate agent said "I would like to buy your house, its just what I need" would'nt you smell the teeniest little rat?
I packed it in a year or two later having only ripped off one more vendor and that was the Prudential Insurance co for 16k.
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Thu 27 Nov 2003, 10:23,
archived)
Went to value a nice little flat in a village just outside London, worth about 50k at the time. Bloke selling it was doing so on behalf of his late father. He was from some northern hell hole where houses were 12 for a shilling and had no idea of southern prices.
He said "would it be easy to sell?",
I said "ummm welll probably ok" (lie 1),
"as a matter of fact im looking for somewhere to live myself" (lie 2)
"tell you what, its worth about 30k (lie 3) I will give you 32k for it cos its just what I need (lie 4).."
"Cor! as much as that!" says northern man,
we shook on it, the deal was done and I bought it.
Sold it straight away to another estate agent for 50k which was probably about 2k under price.
Now, call me a lying, scheming git but if you were selling a house and an estate agent said "I would like to buy your house, its just what I need" would'nt you smell the teeniest little rat?
I packed it in a year or two later having only ripped off one more vendor and that was the Prudential Insurance co for 16k.