I've got a new twist on the Convienient Grandparent Death SyndromeWhen I was a Manchester Uni I was flunking my first year pretty hard. I managed to get several extensions by phoning up, pretending to be in a state of shock and whimpering ...I dont mean to bother you, but one of my Grandparents just died....
Unfortunatly I was mashed pretty much constantly and didn't keep count, eventually I got a phone call from the admissions office who sensitivly said 'We're very sorry to hear about your Grandparent, but we have it on record that all your grandparents are deceased...and they all died since september. Could you come in and discuss this.'
Sneaky bastards kicked me out at the end of the year!
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Thu 27 Nov 2003, 23:09,
archived)
Unfortunatly I was mashed pretty much constantly and didn't keep count, eventually I got a phone call from the admissions office who sensitivly said 'We're very sorry to hear about your Grandparent, but we have it on record that all your grandparents are deceased...and they all died since september. Could you come in and discuss this.'
Sneaky bastards kicked me out at the end of the year!
Also...When my little sister asked me why sheep were good hillside farming animals for her GCSE Geography project I told her that conwieniently all sheep have two legs shorter on one side so they can stand up straight on hills!
The funny thing is that she wrote it in her project and handed it in, when it came back marked I had never seen so many red rings around one sentence, along with comments like "NO!!!" and "WHICH IDIOT TOLD YOU THIS?".
It was me :)
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Thu 27 Nov 2003, 23:21,
archived)
The funny thing is that she wrote it in her project and handed it in, when it came back marked I had never seen so many red rings around one sentence, along with comments like "NO!!!" and "WHICH IDIOT TOLD YOU THIS?".
It was me :)
Reminds me of a storyMy mate (Jon) is an air cadet... Not one of the arrogant arseholes that they tend to be thankfully. Due to the cowboy nature of the US armed forces, he has no time for them.
Anyway, the MOD and "Old Liz" as he calls her (the Queen), payed for a trip for a bunch of the cadets to Sweden for a few days. There they saw SAAB griffin fighters etc. (I think that's what they're called.) It was an international affair with many country's representitives there. My mate is welsh and can speak the language and had several stories the Americans were all lapping up.
Some may be aware of this but the Americans think the rest of the world live in shanty town in the North of France drinking each other's urine for nourishment (or something similar anyway). On one occasion one of them was talking about call forwarding on phones and how they had technology we "could only dream of". So Jon says we lead the world in pastoral genetics. How sheep have been bred to have longer legs on one side to graze the hills.
"That's all very well... but I don't believe you" says one of the American contingient. "How do you store them when it's winter? When they have to come off the hillside?"
Without breaking stride, Jon claims there is a Welsh company called Stiltei, who make stilts for sheep. These are strapped to our ovine friends when the time comes to take them in. Jon also suggested he look up the stock when he gets home 'cos they're really gonna take off in the US.
The US cadet bought right into it... He was never told the truth and probably asked a broker to look into 'Stiltei' stock. Hmmmm. A demand for stock? Who wants to form a fake company and con millions of brokers?
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Fri 28 Nov 2003, 8:42,
archived)
Anyway, the MOD and "Old Liz" as he calls her (the Queen), payed for a trip for a bunch of the cadets to Sweden for a few days. There they saw SAAB griffin fighters etc. (I think that's what they're called.) It was an international affair with many country's representitives there. My mate is welsh and can speak the language and had several stories the Americans were all lapping up.
Some may be aware of this but the Americans think the rest of the world live in shanty town in the North of France drinking each other's urine for nourishment (or something similar anyway). On one occasion one of them was talking about call forwarding on phones and how they had technology we "could only dream of". So Jon says we lead the world in pastoral genetics. How sheep have been bred to have longer legs on one side to graze the hills.
"That's all very well... but I don't believe you" says one of the American contingient. "How do you store them when it's winter? When they have to come off the hillside?"
Without breaking stride, Jon claims there is a Welsh company called Stiltei, who make stilts for sheep. These are strapped to our ovine friends when the time comes to take them in. Jon also suggested he look up the stock when he gets home 'cos they're really gonna take off in the US.
The US cadet bought right into it... He was never told the truth and probably asked a broker to look into 'Stiltei' stock. Hmmmm. A demand for stock? Who wants to form a fake company and con millions of brokers?