funny story I pumped my phone with vaseline earlier todaythen my leg was throbbing so I opened the window and a small urchin looked up at me and said 'How cuntarse have your got any your fucking speed like cos I'm fucking going fucking mental like bexcause it's all fucking going fucking like fucking' and then he burst slowly from the legs upwards spurting guts and juices all over the road and the workmen weren't happy because they had been digging up the road for no apparent reason to watch it slowly fill with rain from the dead reindeer that were leaking from their mighty blunderbus and operating a variety of different coloured lights for the confusion of the passing 747 airliner which had an urgent delivery of air that had to arrive AM but was late and as such would arrive at exactly 1:37pm the next day, resulting in a fine for such tardyness.
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discomeats This canoe,
Sat 21 Jul 2007, 22:58,
archived)
well it's fanny you said that because i went to newcastle to get my pensionand i saw santa claus molesting someone behind the desk at vodafone and was all weird because his spunk was all blue and it went in my dog's eyes and he cried like a sheep so i went and dug him a grave made out of jelly and i saw eddie izzard so i ate his nose but no matter what i done my dog was still dead so i jumped into the sewers and wrote a series of bestselling books about a boy wizard who in the end gets laid with his best friend's sister and the funniest thing is that she drinks bisto.
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head-doctor ololololo,
Sat 21 Jul 2007, 23:01,
archived)
but but but bute boat boet boetoijf !but marcus!! why do you say this!! marcuuuuuus marcussususeuesusese!
anyway, I was at the musuem and the fishtank exploded and there was fish and bulbs everywhere in amsterdam and it got bit in half and there was some kind of train going around in circles and I asked the man "What the fuck man?" and he shrugged his shoulders of mutton and they flew away into the sunrise and it was really heart warming because of the temperature and they cooked in their own juices so this guy caught them in his huge net in his back pocket and they poured gravy all over them and I rubbed them a bit and they quite liked it so I rubbed them again but the police arrived and I got arrested for indecent exposure and they said F-STOP! and took pictures and like I had to stand around different objects pretending that I was pointing them out but I wasn't really it was all a joke and we laughed over cakes a cucumber sandwiches because cucumbers are quite funny animals the way they just spin around when you tie them to a gate but if you tie them up too tightly they die in the heat.
(anyway, I was at the musuem and the fishtank exploded and there was fish and bulbs everywhere in amsterdam and it got bit in half and there was some kind of train going around in circles and I asked the man "What the fuck man?" and he shrugged his shoulders of mutton and they flew away into the sunrise and it was really heart warming because of the temperature and they cooked in their own juices so this guy caught them in his huge net in his back pocket and they poured gravy all over them and I rubbed them a bit and they quite liked it so I rubbed them again but the police arrived and I got arrested for indecent exposure and they said F-STOP! and took pictures and like I had to stand around different objects pretending that I was pointing them out but I wasn't really it was all a joke and we laughed over cakes a cucumber sandwiches because cucumbers are quite funny animals the way they just spin around when you tie them to a gate but if you tie them up too tightly they die in the heat.
discomeats This canoe,
Sat 21 Jul 2007, 23:12,
archived)