Terrible.Kitten is too frail and endearing a term. Women mean trouble and so on to these men.
*notices you changed word literally as I hit the reply button*
Twist is better. To be honest the synatx and speaking style doesn't sound typically noir, they were more like an odd extended monologue of thoughts and so on than an actual narration. So it would be more:
'She was high class ankle. The smell of trouble was all over her as thick as the/her cheap perfume.' - those kind of characters always say cheap perfume, anything else just sounds weird regardless of whether it's supposed to be a high class hooker or not.
(,
Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:26,
archived)
*notices you changed word literally as I hit the reply button*
Twist is better. To be honest the synatx and speaking style doesn't sound typically noir, they were more like an odd extended monologue of thoughts and so on than an actual narration. So it would be more:
'She was high class ankle. The smell of trouble was all over her as thick as the/her cheap perfume.' - those kind of characters always say cheap perfume, anything else just sounds weird regardless of whether it's supposed to be a high class hooker or not.
i'm not really aiming for perfect pastiche of noir reallywe'll see what happens as the story progresses, i don't want to do out and out piss take or a proper noir story, we'll see.
thanks for that glossary, it'll be handy.
(thanks for that glossary, it'll be handy.
Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank,
Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:36,
archived)
I was actually going to do either a parody noir story, or a sort of typically dark and emotionally crippled one but with a woman at one point.Then I realised I can't even finish the one book I've started so abandoned that idea fairly swiftly before I even bothered researching it.
I do do a passable imitation at times though, the weird Blue Jame esque monologue, which I had to do in third person due to the restraints of the story, for the b3ta bunk3r writing thing was at least fairly authentic.
(,
Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:39,
archived)
I do do a passable imitation at times though, the weird Blue Jame esque monologue, which I had to do in third person due to the restraints of the story, for the b3ta bunk3r writing thing was at least fairly authentic.
whats this b3ta bunk3r writing thing? Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank,
Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:44,
archived)
Sort of writing add a chapter project they decided to do.b3tabunker.ning.com/forum/topic/show?id=2251263%3ATopic%3A1471
To be honest it's decidedly less b3talically bizarre than I expected, and more seriously trying to attempt plot and intruige (though in my opinion there's nothing worse than trying to write a serious story, there's more subtle methods, reason and motivation than I could even go into - hence why haven't tried ever since the first draft of my book *shudder*).
My post is on the second page, and to be honest I don't think the preceding chapter even establishes it or makes it make any more sense, other than perhaps the last two lines.
(,
Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:52,
archived)
To be honest it's decidedly less b3talically bizarre than I expected, and more seriously trying to attempt plot and intruige (though in my opinion there's nothing worse than trying to write a serious story, there's more subtle methods, reason and motivation than I could even go into - hence why haven't tried ever since the first draft of my book *shudder*).
My post is on the second page, and to be honest I don't think the preceding chapter even establishes it or makes it make any more sense, other than perhaps the last two lines.