Use toilet paper like the rest of us.
Smears, I'll tell you about smears:
White sticky gloop, laced with runny brown, often nutty, seams matted with dry arid sharp things, smouldering with fire and burning the insides ....oh wait that's s'mores, my bad.
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Marxist Pig Better Red Than Smeg, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 18:33,
Reply)