we love the web
email us
NEWSLETTER: "WILL I ENJOY REVOKING ARTICLE 50 IF I HAVEN'T REVOKED THE FIRST 49 FIRST?"

next issue »
« previous issue 

"Will I enjoy revoking article 50 if I haven't revoked the first 49 first?"
This Week:
* PHOTOS - People selling mirrors
* BOT - 'How To Have A Number One The Easy Way'
* SONG - Annoying potato song

-------------------------------------------------
________  ____ __  ___ 
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |       "The people 
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      voted for pain 
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|      ... together"

B3ta electric e-mail 712 - 22 Mar 2019

Copy this issue to a CD-R:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue712

-------------------------------------------------

: PHOTOS OF PEOPLE SELLING MIRRORS
  Reflecto-scorn

  Chairman L'Mao writes, "Found myself cracking
  up at people not managing to get themselves out
  of the photo when selling a mirror online. So,
  as you do, I made a Twitter account to collect
  them."
https://twitter.com/SellingAMirror

-------------------------------------------------

Weird to think that no one revved their dog's
ears like a motorbike before the invention of the
motorbike.

-------------------------------------------------

: HOW TO HAVE A NUMBER ONE THE EASY WAY
  The Manual, tweeted out by a bot

  Your editor Rob Manuel writes, "I've decided
  I'm going to tweet out The Manual by The
  Timelords as it's my favourite ever book and
  it's worked as inspiration to me since I first
  read it in 1995 or so. It really does work as
  tweets, it's like the most inspirational thread
  of truth bombs ever written. Follow now and it
  all starts Sunday coz as the book says, 'you
  can start any Sunday'"
https://twitter.com/_the_manual_

-------------------------------------------------

Ham: snorty but sliced.

-------------------------------------------------

: ROTATE A POTATO SONG
  We know a song that'll stick in your head

  Pi Bennett has written a song about baking a
  potato in the microwave and we nearly didn't
  feature it but found ourselves with the chorus
  stuck in our head whilst making a cup of tea,
  so don't say we didn't warn you.
http://b3ta.com/links/1513557

-------------------------------------------------

Brexit is a plot to turn us into Harry Potter
island where people can come and visit and see
our funny hobbity ways, how the old folk used to
live before modernity came and made it all
baffling apps and 17 genders.

-------------------------------------------------

: YAY WE HAVE A NEW NEWSLETTER SPONSOR
  Mediamasters Podcast

  Paul Blanchard has got in touch to sponsor the
  newsletter "My primary purpose is to see you
  prosper! Love your work" and also promote his
  podcast. There's lots of big media names on it
  like Sir Trevor McDonald and Alan Rusbridger,
  so get stuck in:
http://www.mediamasters.fm/

  And if YOU also want to be a big sponsor then
  fill "company sponsorship" in on the old
  Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta

-------------------------------------------------

: MORE B3TA PEOPLE DOING STUFF
  Yes, the content doesn't stop

  * THROW STUFF AT THERESA MAY GAME - yeastymeat
  has made a oddly atmospheric game where you get
  to throw fruit at Britain's Prime Minister.
  Maybe coz our laptop is slow it plays like a
  terrible dream.
https://ramjam.co.uk/brexitboogie/

  * EATING BOGIE SONG - Ross Butter and Dr Frank
  have teamed up to bring you a revoltingly
  animated song about kids eating snot.
  Entertainment doesn't get better than this.
https://www.b3ta.com/links/Yum_Yum_Song

  * X-FILES THEME BASS SOLO - Blonix has been
  amusing himself playing X-Files music using a
  bass guitar, a loop and LOTS of effects. Made
  us want to play with an echobox again.
https://www.b3ta.com/links/X_Files_theme_bass_solo

-------------------------------------------------

Fats Domino
Chubby Checker
Porky Pawn
Dumpy Draught
Blubbery Bishop
Thic Tile

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
  Good stuff made by bad people from the internet

  * GOOGLE'S MUSEUM OF FAILURE - comforting to
  know they launch plenty of dud ideas.
https://killedbygoogle.com/

  * ANCIENT CAT CALENDAR - love this for the
  photo of the cat in front of the old computer. 
https://archive.org/details/Morris-ACatForOurTimes...

  * MAKING OF FIRESTARTER - interesting footage
  of Keith giving the cameras what they want. He
  was so lovely and unthreatening when viewed
  from a different angle. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch

  * 62000 WINAMP SKINS - Don't click this, your
  eyes will melt.
https://archive.org/details/winampskins

  * LOCK PICKING KIT - we went down a rabbit-hole
  of watching 'lock picking lawyer' videos and it
  awakened in us an interest in lockpicking. This
  kit is less than £10 and it totally got us
  started - it's quite alarming quite how easy it
  is. Well not ALL locks, but your average
  padlock is pish.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B01BB79F...

-------------------------------------------------

Anyway. If you want to improve your chances of
being on local news as the person who found the
body - get a dog.

-------------------------------------------------

: IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Dogs

  Here's the best images from last week:

  * HOW ROADS ARE PAINTED - from Ninj.
http://b3ta.com/board/11280799

  * WOOFY MCWOOFERTONS IN SPACE - from Pizopop.
http://b3ta.com/board/11280884

  * THREE MOVIE DOGS - from Monkeon.
http://b3ta.com/board/11281253

  * See all the other images from the 'Dogs' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/dogs


  >> This week: Ridley Scott <<
  We've done Kubrick, now we're doing Scott. Give
  us your best photoshop lols of Ridley Scott's
  films and adverts.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/RidleyScott

-------------------------------------------------

We wish Sister Sledge and MC Hammer would
collaborate and cover the Peter Gabriel tune
Solsbury Hill.

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
  Free ideas for your creative minds

  * STUPID BOT - A bot that manually retweets
  people you don't like and adds the word
  "simples" to make them look stupid.

  * ANOTHER BOOK TROLL BOT - A bot that tweets
  "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" line-by-line with the
  occasional grammatical error. Or Pet Shop Boys
  lyrics.

  * QUIZZES - A quiz called "Do you know your
  onions?" Where you identify types of onion. And
  when the questions run out it says "that's
  shallot!"

  * MELANCHOLY PHONE CALLS PODCAST - We got a
  phonebook through door and realised that it was
  about 40 pages thick and most of the people in
  it are probably old. Just phone up these people
  and talk to a world that's leaving us.

  * BPM GAME - game shows you name of famous
  song. Say "Staying Alive" and asks you to tap
  along the beat. Then it plays the actual song
  and you can see if your brain had remembered it
  right. It's 103 BPM btw. Actually you can just
  play this yourself on YouTube, but automating
  it would be nice.

  * TEST OUR HYPOTHESIS: "You can tell how Tory
  council is by how unforgiving the traffic
  lights are on pedestrians"

-------------------------------------------------

: PATREON THANKS
  We love you

  * BIGGEST BROTHERS: *EUGENIE VT*, *ALEX
  MORRIS*, *HEBTROCO*, *JAMES O'BRIEN*, *JAMES
  PETTS*, *JON GRANT*, *KATE*, *MARK MCCREADIE*,
  *MR PHIL DONNELLY*, *SHOWRAT*, *SIMON JAMES*,
  *STOOBERT*, *24-7 DEATH*, *ALAN CHARLTON*,
  *ALISTAIR*, *ANDREW FLEMMING*, *ANDREW WREN*,
  *BEVAN JOHNSON*, *BRIAN EELES*, *CHRIS
  BLAKENEY*, *CHRIS CARLINE*, *CHRIS LOCKE*,
  *CRISS MORENO*, *GEORGE STEPHENSON*, *GREG
  MCGOWAN*, *IAN SHEEN*, *JAIMIE VANDENBERGH*,
  *JAMES CRONIN*, *JON BINSTEAD*, *MARK ADAMSON*,
  *MICHAEL TRINDER*, *NAT KING COLESLAW*,
  *PATRICK CATES*, *RICHARD BARCLAY*, *SIMON
  NICHOLLS*, *SPAZZCAPTAIN*, *TOM DOLAN*, *WENDY
  GOODE

  * BIGGER BROTHERS: NICK MORGAN, LEE BURNETT,
  @MATTDAWHIT, ADAM ATACK, ADAM COONEY, ADAM
  INGLIS, ADAM LLOYD, ADRIAN WOODFIELD, AL
  DAVIDSON, ALBION GRAY, ANDREW SCHEUBER, ANDY
  ASHTON, ANDY STORRAR, ANDY TILLETT, ANDY
  WEBBER, ANDY YATES`, ANNA, ANNE-MARIE SCOTT,
  AUNTIESASH HAZLEWOOD, BEN BRICE, BEN WARD, BEN
  WATSON, BERTIL HANSSON, BERTRAM WOOSTER, BEX
  COOK, BLOSSOMSHED, BRAD GREGORY, BYRON GEOFFREY
  FARROW, C BOND, CARL MORGAN, CATHERINE
  MCALLISTER, CATROASTER, CHEF TWAT, CHRIS
  BRANCH, CHRIS EVANS, CHRIS GARRATT, CHRIS
  GOUGH, CHRIS PATERSON, CHRIS SAUNDERS, CHRIS
  SHAW, CHRIS WHITWORTH, CIARÁN R, COURTENAY
  FERRIS, CRAIG LIDDELL, CRAIG TONKS, CRAIG
  TURNER, DAMIEN SMITH, DAN STOTT, DANIEL BROWN,
  DANIEL CHOTE, DAVE NATTRISS, DAVE TICKLE, DAVID
  AULT, DAVID CATLEY, DAVID GARDINER, DAVID
  GREEN, DAVID KING, DAVID KNOLL, DAVID MILLS,
  DEREK LAW, DEREK ROBERTS, DOMINIC HAIGH, ED CAN
  DO, ED COOK, EDWARD ALMOND, EMMA LAY, ERIC VON
  BORSTEL, ESSY DAVE, FAITH H. MARTIN, FEARGHAS,
  FERGUS MCKAY, FIONA JAMES, FOURSTAR, FRASER
  LEWRY, FUNKSTER, GAYNOR CLARKSON, GEOFF TIDEY,
  GEOFFREY BALME, GEORGE PRESTON, GIA MILINOVICH,
  GNEISSROCKS, GRAHAM LICENCE, GREENFOX, GREG
  NEILSON, GUS NICOL, HANNAH CHUBB, HEIDI
  COLTHUP, HELEN GASKELL, IAIN, IAIN BRASSINGTON,
  IAIN FULLER, IAIN HENSHAW, IAIN MOFFATT, IAIN
  RUXTON, IAN BEVERIDGE, IAN BOLTZ, IVAN KELLY,
  JAMES CLAYTON, JAMES DONNELLY, JAMES GOLBEY,
  JAMES KERRY-BARNARD, JAMES MACINNES, JAMES
  O'MALLEY, JAMES PEARSON, JAMES SHAKESPEARE,
  JAMIE TAYLOR, JANE BAKER, JASON STEWART, JAY
  ROCHE, JAYMIE THOMAS, JERRY QUARTLEY, JIM
  DABELL, JIM FRAYLING, JIM HALFPENNY, JIM
  MACARTHUR, JIM WOODWARD, JOE BANNER, JOE
  MCNALLY, JOE SIMMONDS, JOEY MOORE, JOHN
  FARAGHER, JOHN FOSTER, JOHN HAMMERSLEY, JOHN
  HIGGS, JOHN MATTHEWS, JOHNNIE SHANNON, JOHNNY
  WATTERS, JONTY WAREING, JOSH MCMILLAN, JOSHUA
  THOMASSON, JUDE EVANS, JUSTIN BRETT, J&#463;M
  MCN&#463;VEN, KATE DEVLIN, KEV ADAMS, KONRAD
  PETRUSEWICZ, LISA WESTHAVEN, LOUISE ALLEN, LUKE
  MEPHAM, MARINA DE JOSLIN, MARK HIBBETT, MARK
  WILSON, MARTIN BEER, MARTIN DAVIES, MARTIN
  HOLLOWAY, MARTIN PEACHE, MATHEW CLAYTON,
  MATSIMPSK, MATT BUCHANAN, MATT DREWRY, MATTHEW
  COLLINGE, MATTHEW FORMAN, MATTHEW MORRIS,
  MATTHEW WILKES, MICK CURTIS, MIDNIGHTRAMBLER,
  MIKE MIDDLETON, MIL JAMIESON, MONTOCAT, NEIL DE
  CARTERET, NICK ROSS, OBIW4N SHINOBI, OLIVER
  BEWES, PAUL CHERRY, PAUL LEADER, PAUL SMITH,
  PAUL WESTERMAN, PETER ASHTRAY, PETER COOMBE,
  PETER GOSLING, PETER MCMINN, PETER WOUDA,
  PHILIP KINCHINGTON, POOKONG, REBECCA MCMANUS,
  RHYS WYNNE, RICH POPE, RICHARD BECKETT, RICHARD
  MATTHIAS, RICK LINDLEY, RIVEN A BUCKLEY, ROB
  AFFLECK, ROB MAHON, ROB VINCENT, ROBBIE LESIUK,
  ROBERT HILLS, ROBIN, ROSS CARTER,
  ROSSOVERTHERE, RUPERT HULL, RYAN DORAN, RYAN
  RHODES, SALEEM AHMAD, SAM ANDERSON, SAM
  RUSSELL, SARAH WILLIAMSON, SCOTT S. KRAMER,
  SEAN CASELY, SIMON COWAN, SIMON HOLMES, SIMON
  MCDOUGALL, SIMON SMITH, SIMON WATERFALL,
  STARLORD MIXTAPE, STEPHEN WALLER, STEVE
  ANGLESEY, STEVE LAKER, STEVE PROWSE, , STEVEN
  SMITH, STEVEY GARLAND, STEWART NOLAN, STUART
  ALLDRED, STUART ASHEN, TIM JOKL, TIM MOUNCER,
  TIM WEAVER, TOM CRICK, TOM HEBBRON, TOM
  REES-WILLIAMS, TOM RYAN, TOM WRIGHT,
  TOWNSENDSPUBLISHER, TYRONNE MANN, VICKI JAKES,
  WIL HADDEN, WILL GOULDEN, GAVIN TOMMEY, IAN
  APPLEBY, PETE, STUART RICHARDS, TOBIE FYSH,
  CARL MESNER LYONS, CHRIS JOHNSON, EMMA SYKES,
  JAN SPIELHOFF, JESS BAKER, JOHN FIELD, MIKE
  CONGREVE, SEAN FLANAGAN, TOM FREKE, ED ZITRON,
  ADAM BEARDWOOD, DAVID STARK, ALASTAIR DODD,
  ALEXANDRE STRUBE, ANDREW ROBINSON, ANDY
  CANDLER, CHRIS GOODE, CONNOR PARSLOW, CRAIG
  NAPLES, DAN TASSE, DANIEL MOELLER, DANNY
  KODICEK, DOMINIC LE GARSMEUR, DUNCAN
  STRICKLAND, HARRY, IRENE SEMANCHUK, JOSEPH
  MULVANEY, JULIE BEACOCK, MARK BENSON, MICHAEL
  KITT, NICKY HEWGILL, PAUL TOPPING, PETER ROYAL,
  RICHARD SPEED, ROSE JOHNSON, SENTIENT MEATBAG,
  TIM BEACHY

  * BIG BROTHERS: Deny Coughlan, Peter Cooper,
  Nick Kent, Russ Anderson, 5telios, Adam
  Kaczmarek, Adam Tickner, Al Napp, Alex Wren,
  Alex Wrottesley, Amy Oliver, Andrea Vail,
  Andrew Harris, Andy Nattan, Andy Shirling, Ben,
  Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben Groom, Ben
  Sugden, Ben Webb, Bobod, BSG, Cat Conner,
  Centuries of Sound, Chris Ward, Christina
  Freeman, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Dan
  Fairs, Darren John Harris, Dave The Hammer
  Parry, David Bond, David Ellinor, David
  Whittam, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
  Fenris Games, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Graham
  Freeman, Gwyn Fisher, Hadleigh Charles, Hugh
  Noble, Iain M Barker, Ian Silvester, Ilya, Ivan
  Shiel, Jace Otting, James, James Meers,
  Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John Griffiths,
  John M, Jon Bounds, Julie Brumlik, Lee Ball,
  Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
  madgwick, Mark Ryan, Martin Vindahl Olsen, Matt
  Carr, Matt Loren, Michael Bryan, Mike Booth,
  Mike Carter, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick, Nick
  Murdoch, Nigel Ford, Oli, P Underwood, Paul
  Bayfield, Paul Braithwaite, Paul Mancini, Paul
  Slade, Peter, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
  Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Rob
  Potter, Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan,
  Russell Webster, Sam Brown, Seirian Hanner,
  Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen McAuley,
  Stephen Williams, Stewart C. Russell, Stéphane,
  Swedemason, Tanya Kant, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim
  Knight, Tim Polglase, Tom Clark, Tony East,
  Victoria Wood, wigglywigglyworm, Wine School of
  Philadelphia.

Please bung us your cash:
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta

-------------------------------------------------

Newsletter written by Rob Manuel with some help
from Monkeon, Matt Round Wil & Kris. 

-------------------------------------------------

: AND SPECIAL THANKS TO ED
  For being our biggest patreon

  Follow him on the Twitter. Go on.
https://twitter.com/edzitron

-------------------------------------------------

All people who need glasses should have guide
dogs. It's not technically necessary but getting
a dog is more fun than going to the opticians.

-------------------------------------------------

: TOP TIP:
  Make your life easier and better by being nice
  to people. (The Lurker)

next issue »
« previous issue