NEWSLETTER: "WOULD YOU USE A TIME MACHINE TO GO BACK IN TIME AND THROW A MILKSHAKE AT BABY HITLER?"
This Week:
* GAME - Splash The Fash
* RUTLES - Fascinating Neil Innes podcast
* STUFF - Same old sperm & swearing content as usual
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're shitting the bed
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | and sticking the turdy
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| sheets into the wash"
B3ta email 717 - 27th May 2019
Read this issue whilst pretending to be a plum:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue717
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How do you know if Phil Collins has got root on your system?
Su-su-sudo.
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: SO WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING TO OLD B3TANS
Your guide to the trouble they're making
* SPLASH THE FASH - Old B3tonians Matt Round
and Mushybees have collaborated to make a game
where you can throw milkshakes at fascists
without the risk of getting a thump in face.
https://theovertake.com/~beta/splash-the-fash-with...
* RUTLES PODCAST - Chris Shaw has been raising
his game on the quality of his guests for his
Beatles Podcast I Am The Eggpod. He started
with your lazy editor Rob Manuel and now he's
climbed the podcast ladder all the way to
Rutles genius Neil Innes. It's a great episode,
Neil gives so much.
https://iamtheeggpod.com/2019/05/18/neil-innes/
* FIFTY YEAR OLD TINNED COW TONGUE - Ashens is
eating a 50 y/o tongue. We couldn't get through
this video. Stu you are a bad person.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* BORIS JOHNSON SPERMY CHAT - Cassetteboy has
been trolling Boris. Let's hope he's not the
new PM ok and forces Mr Boy into the salt
mines.
https://twitter.com/Cassetteboy/status/11290452001...
* JOEL VEITCH CAUSES DIPLOMATIC INCIDENT -
Veitch & Natt (Sir Ian Bowler) have made a chat
show pilot with Vladimir Putin. And it's
borderline caused a diplomatic incident. which
is nice.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/23/world/europe/bb...
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Robert Smith whispers "I spy with my little eye
something beginning with S" at the beginning of
Lullaby.
Playing I Spy is rubbish with The Cure as it's
always S and it's always a fucking spider.
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: B3TA BOOK NEWS!
Coz yeah, paper is the new HTML
* SISTERS OF MERCY BOOK FUNDED - We've been
huge supporters of the Sisters Of Mercy
biography and we're pleased to report that it's
now been funded 100% and the author Mark
Andrews just now has to write it. (Old goth
fans should look out for Wayne Hussey's
biography too - where he makes amusing claims
to have inspired Harry Potter)
https://unbound.com/books/sistersofmercy/
* CYRIAK'S BOOK NEARLY OUT - Mutated Monty's
novel is now being sent out to people who
bought it on Unbound - it'll be available on
Amazon soon.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B07NRYZQ...
* JOHN HIGGS NEW BOOK - B3tan friend John Higgs
has written a book that turns the doom
narrative on its head and says the future is
going to be wonderful. Let's hope he's right.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/14746093...
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Phil Oakey of the Human League never had
children. Which is a shame as if he had a
daughter who liked to sing his songs he
could call her Carrie Oakey.
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Content for your clicky paws
* BEEFY MAN PLAYS TEARS FOR FEARS ON PIANO -
You didn't know you wanted to watch a
bodybuilder play Shout on the keyboards but
you'll be glad you did. Great version.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* CREATE FAKE NEWS CHAOS - Turn a wweet into a
Guardian headline.
https://guardian-fun.glitch.me/1122521025827229696
* IMPROVED SONG - Radiohead's Creep with lyrics
rewritten by Google autocomplete. Not bad
lyrics in places, traces of meaning suggest
themselves, like someone looking at the modern
world with bafflement and horror
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* THIS IS ART - bloke makes painting of dogs
looking at the grave of the dogs they were
cloned from.
https://simonwillison.net/2019/Mar/7/oil-painting/
* NOD TO THE RHYTHM. Make photos nod to the beat.
http://nodtotherhythm.com/
* MATTHEW SMITH PODCAST INTERVIEW - Manic Miner
bloke speaks. It's good to hear him and we hope
he continues making public appearances. There's
a lot of love for him out there.
https://overcast.fm/+F2TQVa9ps/53:53
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What did David Bowman say to the wildcard
dictionary search? “Oh my god, it’s full of
st*rs”
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
Batman
Here's the best images from last week:
* A MAN'S GOTTA EARN A LIVING SOMEHOW from LS18:
http://b3ta.com/board/11286291
* THIS from atomic
http://b3ta.com/board/11286454
* TOXIC by Captain Howdy
http://b3ta.com/board/11286240
* See all the other images from the 'Batman' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/batman
>> This week: Food Weapons <<
With Milkshake being classed as a deadly
weapon, we thought we'd look at other food
stuffs in a different light. Banana guns,
yoghurt pot grenades, thermo nuclear
cheesecake. get to it.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/foodweapons
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Please sign our petition to remake Jaws from the
point of view of the lost hungry shark who just
wanted to find his mummy and daddy.
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Free idea for inspiration
* NEW OLD FORMATS - Question Time format is
actually good - it's just ruined by having it
cover contentious politics. Proof? Gardeners'
Question Time on Radio 4 is basically the same
thing and it's lovely. BBC should make Pets'
Question Time.
* NEW POLICIES - Inheritance tax should be
100%. And every time someone dies it's like the
national lottery and a random UK resident
inheritance their entire estate.
* NEW WAYS TO COMMEMORATE THE DEAD - Benches to
commemorate dead loved ones are all well and
good, but really, I've spent a lot of time in
parks walking the dog in the last six months
and parks don't need more benches. But a few
dog bowls to pour water into would actually be
really handy.
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The dog diet: eat anything you like but with a
dog looking you in the eye going "go on, give me
a bit"
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: CREDIT
Edited by Rob Manuel with help from Matt
Round, Monkeon. Extra link via Yoofaloof
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We've discovered this thing called a "radio"
that's just like an Alexa but you can turn it on
simply by pressing a button instead of repeatedly
talking to it in increasingly angry tones until
it does something you don't want it to do anyway.
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: PATREON THANKS
BIGGEST BROTHERS: *EUGENIE VT*, *ALEX MORRIS*,
*HEBTROCO*, *JAMES O'BRIEN*, *JAMES PETTS*,
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: YAY WE HAVE A NEW(ISH) NEWSLETTER SPONSOR
Mediamasters Podcast
Paul Blanchard has got in touch to sponsor the
newsletter "My primary purpose is to see you
prosper! Love your work" and also promote his
podcast. There's lots of big media names on it
like Sir Trevor McDonald and Alan Rusbridger,
so get stuck in:
http://www.mediamasters.fm/
And if YOU also want to be a big sponsor then
fill "company sponsorship" in on the old
Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
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Let's play 'tech movies':
Rear Windows 3.1
Stand By Windows ME
Lost In Google Translation
Some Like It Hot Key
It's a Wonderful iLife
Dos Boot
Taxi Driver.dll
The (dot) Matrix (printer)
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: AND SPECIAL THANKS TO ED
For being our longest patreon
Follow him on the Twitter. Go on.
https://twitter.com/edzitron
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: TOP TIP
IF MAKING COFFEE FOR GUESTS - stand in the
kitchen for 5 minutes, making "prk, prk"
noises, before serving up cups of instant. Your
guests will be impressed with your percolated
coffee, and think you dead posh. (monster
munch)
http://b3ta.com/questions/toptips
