NEWSLETTER: "YOU KNOW WHO DIDN'T OPEN THE B3TA NEWSLETTER? HITLER"
This Week:
* VIDEO - why we're "100%" straight
* TOOL - Find out what you tweeted on this day
* DVD SCREENSAVER - recreated in shit HTML
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're sieving the web
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | for entertainment shit
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| nuggets... together"
B3ta email 783 - 13th Aug 2021
Read this issue after huffing Pritt Stick:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue783
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Other than making hay whilst the sun shits
* IT'S AN "ON THIS DAY" FOR YOUR TWITTER
ACCOUNT - Digital troublemaker Terence Eden
has made a thing so you can see what you
posted on this day for every year you've been
on this site. So apparently today is the day
b3ta interviewed Brian Blessed, we'd dig that
out for you, but we can't be arsed and also
what we mostly remember about it was not being
able to get a word in as it was like
interviewing an unstoppable truck.
http://twistory.ml
* "I'M 100% STRAIGHT..." - your editor noticed
a theme with some of the submissions on
Fesshole and had GarageBand open so he did
this. If any pop stars are reading this and
would like to cover this song to relaunch
their career then please do get in touch.
https://b3ta.com/links/I_am_100_Straight
* DVD NOSTALGIA MEETS HTML TAG NOSTALGIA - "I
Made the DVD Screensaver Using the Deprecated
Marquee Tag" writes Jimvin. He's right you
know, view the source and see, oh web nerds
that remember how to do such things and what
it all means.
https://dvd.source321.com/
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: HEBTRO SPONSORSHIP
New launch: denim tote bag
You know tote bags right? They're shit and
fall apart - so why not make one of a durable
fabric like denim so it lasts for a fucking
long time? YES, all this can be yours for the
relatively affordable price of £30. Buy two,
one for you and one for your reply guy.
https://hebtro.co/product/denim-tote-bag/
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: FESSHOLE
Your confessions shared for cheap likes
Each week you vomit lies into a bucket and we
serve up the worst as hot fib gruel:
* SNOW JOKE - "My village green has a car park
with a collapsible metal bollard at the
entrance. My mates and me built a snowman
around it. Turned into a great test for
wankers - sure enough a 4x4 tried to knock it
down, with much damage done to the car. Don't
feel guilty.
* SMS REVENGE - "I've just spent an hour
signing up for free SMS alerts from a variety
of sources. Not to my number, but the one on
the outside of the white van driven by a
roofer who swore at me out of his window."
* RESPECT - "I am a 35 year old male and each
time i go out for my morning walk i always
salute each cat that i see for good luck.
Since i started doing it months ago my luck
has changed for the better."
Join the 164,000 people who should have their
ZX Microdrives examined by the Sweeney.
https://twitter.com/fesshole
BTW: Your editor Rob Manuel also did an
interview about Fesshole with James McMahon,
the one-time editor of Kerrang, for James's
new podcast 'Shame'.
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/shame/id1577...
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Content made by some other cunts over there
* COUNTDOWN CHEATER - There's plenty of
anagram tools to help you cheat at the
Countdown letters games, but this one ruins
the numbers game. It's the way you can see it
doing the working out that makes it special.
Like a glimpse into Carol Vorderman's head.
https://countdown-solver.vercel.app
* NETFLIX FOR IMAGINARY SHOWS - A well
designed meta IMDb for movies that only exist
within movies. We tested it with UHF, and
we're glad to see Conan The Librarian has made
the cut.
https://nestflix.fun
* MORRISSEY IN A BOX - This bit of AI claims
to offer lyrics inspiration from listening to
your music. It sort of works too - we had a go
bashing guitars into the mic and then singing
the lyrics that came out and quite enjoyed
ourselves. But no, we're not videoing that and
showing you.
https://lyricjam.ai/
* THE OBSCURE BIRTH OF HOME VIDEO - The best
thread about a TV video system you'd never
heard of before that you'll read today.
Particularly liked the rudimentary DRM that
would rent you a video that you couldn't
rewind to watch again. And the list of movies
available which we now want to spend a week
looking up and watching.
https://twitter.com/Foone/status/14233690571814543...
* HELLO FAT BOY - Someone has taken a Gameboy
Advance and made it wider. Not sure why, but
we happily spent 30 minutes watching a man add
significant girth to an already quite wide
console.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
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: FRIDAY GAME
We don't like your type round here
Can you type the alphabet faster than 3.37
seconds and win a visit from the ghost of
right wing record nut Norris McWhirter?
https://typethealphabet.app/
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
New Olympic Sports
Here's the best images from last week:
* PETE DOHERTY - as imagined by Monkeon
http://b3ta.com/board/11348393
* BORIS - as imagined by S4RK
http://b3ta.com/board/11348244
* REES-MOGG - as imagined by Ninj
https://b3ta.com/board/11348501
* See all the other images from the 'New
Olympic Sports' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/newolympicsports/popular
>> This week: Rich Pets <<
What do the pets of billionaires get up to
while their owners are out? Show us the world
of super rich pets.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/richpets/popular
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Some ideas to kick you off
This section can be hard to fill so this week
we're going to look at a pile of CDs and try
and imagine what exciting web games they could
be turned into
* PINK FLOYD'S WISH YOU WERE HERE GAME -
photos with famous people removed from them
and you have to guess who was there.
* BOB MARLEY AND THE WAILERS "LEGEND" GAME -
photos of the feet of various Wailers but is
it Pete Tosh's or Bunny Wailer's 'leg end'?
* MARK RONSON'S VERSION GAME - is this
screenshot Windows 3.1 or Windows For
Workgroups 3.11?
Jesus Christ you can do better than that and
please do.
https://b3ta.com/mailus
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people. Almost romantically.
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
additional links; HappyToast for image
challenge help; and Dr Dunno for extra
support. Proofing by Kat E. Thanks Kat.
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST -
special love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart.
NEW NEWSEST - extra love love love to si
Jobling & Daniel Calvin. And bonus new love to
Douglas Pennant, Roy Santos & Will Thompson.
We love you. OH GOD, and more bonus love to
Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil McGuire & Paul
Blanchard - you sexy people.
And do please donate as you get occasional
"bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
