NEWSLETTER: "B3TA NEWSLETTER WINS NO CONFIDENCE VOTE BY NARROW MARGIN AGAINST CRUSTY WANK SOCK"
This Week:
* PENGA - It's Penguin Jenga from Matt Round
* LOCAL PAPERS - rounded up by Scary Duck
* RATHERGOOD - Veitch gets the Netflix deal he wanted
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're deleting the web
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | because it was a horrible
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| mistake... together"
B3ta email 821 - 10 Jun 2022
Read this issue whilst wanking off tramps for coins:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue821
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
Other than making suspicious stains again
* PENGUIN JENJA - Matt Round has made a version
of Jenga but with Penguins and called it Penga.
It's fucking great and actually a proper game
rather than a novelty item masquerading in the
shape of a game, unlike the bullshit we'd think
up.
https://vole.wtf/penga/
* LOCAL PAPER ROUND UP - Alistair Coleman AKA
B3tan Scary Duck has done a round up / best of
of his 'Angry People In Local Newspapers' social
media, but as a blog, like it's still 2006,
https://apiln.co.uk/oh-no-its-another-angry-people...
* RATHERGOOD NEWS - Joel Veitch, of old school
B3ta fame, has got a kids series commissioned
and he tells us, "we just got announced by
Netflix so I'm allowed to talk about it finally.
My Dinosaurs thingy that started life as
Dinosaurs: Terrible Lizards is just going into
production now as Bad Dinosaurs.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! We were announced along
with a bunch of other stuff on their slate,
here's a link to their release." BTW: Natt
Tapley, also an old B3tan, is the head writer.
It's currently unknown if Spacefish is accepting
the position of key grip.
https://b3ta.com/links/Our_Dinosaurs_are_going_to_...
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: HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
Let's talk about socks baby
Each week we implore you to buy some stuff from
our lovely sponsors, Hebtroco, all made in the
UK to the highest standards, and this week we're
going to big up their socks as they've got an
offer on them. Six pairs for £36 rather than
£90. Yes, Hebtro want to socks you up.
https://hebtro.co/product/6-pack-of-viking-socks/
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: FESSHOLE
Your confessions industrially pulped into 'likes'
Each week you vomit into a urinal and we sieve
for chunks and hold them aloft shouting "is this
shitty gold?"
* PARENTING DONE RIGHT - "I've replaced my
daughters gerbil 3 times and she's not noticed.
Last year as part of a school project she wrote
to the Guinness book of records to tell them how
old it is."
* SECOND PUNNING - "I spent a bit of the 90s
wondering what a dord was and why the Stone
Roses wanted to be one."
* GOING TO HELL? "When I was 16 my dad sat me
down and told me I had an older brother who died
of cot death before I was born. They had a
little box of his stuff, wrist band and his
birth certificate. I nicked the birth cert every
weekend to get served in pubs in town. Figured
my bro wouldn't mind."
Join the half a million followers that only
understand one German word: schadenfreude.
http://twitter.com/fesshole
BOOK PLUG - Pre-buy the book which will be out
for Xmas, and today is a special day because we
completed the first draft. Hooray, it's properly
happening.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/18041903...
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: SITES IN BRIEF
HTML cakes, sprinkled with CSS & a dash of tags
* "WHY SO MANY MOTHS?" - This blogger set out to
find the least viewed articles on Wikipedia.
It's an enjoyably nerdy read about how Wikipedia
works, with comfortingly boring results.
http://colinmorris.github.io/blog/unpopular-wiki-a...
* PIXEL ART WALK - This hiker is blogging his
journey along America's Appalachian Trail in the
form of pixel art, which is kind-of the 2020s
version of when Neighbours' Helen Daniels used
to go to the Bungle Bungles and would log her
experiences via the medium of paint. This
reference may be a bit niche. But the end result
is fucking beautiful.
https://atrailtale.com
* CAN YOU LOSE THIS GAME? Wordle of the week is
this one, in which the aim is to not win.
Surprisingly, it is one of the harder variants
we've played, due to you having to still obey
the computer's feedback from previous guesses
and pretend you are trying to win.
https://dontwordle.com
* TWITTER FOLLOW MAP - This website plots your
Twitter followers on a map and purports to be
like Harry Potter's Marauder's Map. Pretty
interesting, although it guesses quite a bit and
stuck B3ta in Sicily and your editor in Russia.
http://smallworld.kiwi
* BUT WILL IT PLAY DOOM? - someone has managed
to make the map of the first level of Doom out
of HTML sliders. Next week: Minecraft made of
Oxo cubes.
https://twitter.com/blinry/status/1533443430679990...
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
Jubilee
Here's the best images from last week:
* Dick Wonder tells us what Prince Charles is
really thinking
http://b3ta.com/board/11368978
* Stiubh brings us the David Cronenberg
crossover that you didn't know you wanted, but
will demand now
http://b3ta.com/board/11369094
* Unclepills gives us the truth on how the
Queen and Paddington would interact
http://b3ta.com/board/11369190
* See all the other images from the 'Jubilee' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/Jubilee70/popular
>> This week: Cost of living crisis <<
Food's getting expensive, energy bills are going
through the roof, pay has stagnated for years,
it's a cost of living crisis. Depict it, or
better still solve it with daft pictures and
gifs.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/costofliving/popular
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: THINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE NEXT WEEK
Free ideas to kick you in the inspiration penis
* CHEESE ROLLING GAME - not sure quite how it
would work but watch this clip and get started
with a physics engine. I.e. ask Matt Round for
help
https://twitter.com/Urban_Pictures/status/15334447...
* I'LL GIVE IT A GO - imagining a national
project called "I'll Give It A Go" where you can
buy a lottery ticket every week and get selected
to restore a work of art, direct the floats at
the Jubilee, write the new James Bond etc. All
the British prestige projects up for grabs vs
amateur pluck.
* A BUTTON TO MAKE IT STOP - we're not sure
quite how this would work either but we think we
can all agree, things just need to stop.
Stick your content up our inbox bottom:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people. Almost romantically.
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
by Kat E. Thanks Kat.
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
- extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
you, you kind humans.
And do please donate as you get occasional
"bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
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: I'M SORRY I'VE WRITTEN A JOKE
It's Covid69's turn to apologise
Which dinosaur is terrible at first person
shooter games?
Tyrannosaurus Rekt.
https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/
