NEWSLETTER: "MR BLOBBY'S FAVOURITE NEWSLETTER DEMANDS YOUR EYEBALLS"
This Week:
* FRANKIE SAY - "Play this web interactive"
* WEEBL & BOB - Twenty years old, fuck me
* HOW TO - Win at Penga
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're shaving the web
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | like a yak, every week
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| and beyond... together"
B3ta email 822 - 17 Jun 2022
Read this issue begging for the content to stop:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue822
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
Other than making sinister "marmalade" again
* FRANKIE SAY RELAX: THE COMPUTER GAME - Monkeon
has taken an idea we posted in a recent
newsletter about making a reaction game out of
Relax and made it real. He writes, "My pointless
research for this has actually made me quite a
fan. Their 12 inch remixes are particularly fun
for being such stupid sample-heavy things.
Crediting Klaus Schulze with a remix he didn't
actually do is a nice bit of trolling."
https://monkeon.co.uk/frankiesayrelax/
* CELEBRATE TWENTY YEARS OF WEEBL - Jonti
Picking is celebrating two decades of "well come
back bring pie" and yes we are all old, but
we're (mostly) not dead so here's to the next
twenty years. B3ta is less than halfway done.
https://b3ta.com/links/1587963
* HOW TO WIN AT PENGA - last week we launched
Matt Round's Penguin Tetris game and this week
JimmerUK tells you how to WIN:
https://twitter.com/JimmerUK/status/15370307133876...
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: HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
Buy some shorts
Look, it's burning up with heat around here so
you probably don't fancy buying jeans, but
Hebtroco also sells shorts, so let's get those
legs out with some British-made clothes that are
built to last.
https://hebtro.co/product/action-shorts/
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: FESSHOLE
Your confessions hucked up like a cat being sick
Each week you type some bollocks into a Google
form and we pick out the bits that we find funny
or amusing and share it for empty internet
likes:
* ELDERY PARENTS - "I buy my dad, who's in his
late seventies, top quality tools for birthdays
and Christmas. He appreciates them but I'm also
playing the long game. My wife would never let
me buy expensive tools for myself."
* IMPROMPTU GAMES WE PLAY - "Whenever I wake up
in the middle of the night I try and 'sense'
what the precise time is before checking my
phone to see if I am right. This morning I got
it spot on: 4.46am. I am really thrilled at my
achievement but haven't told anybody as it just
sounds weird."
* COPING STRATEGIES - "Once a week during the
first lockdown I'd drive 150 miles to the middle
of the Moors never using the same route twice
like a shit spy. Then I'd walk 40 minutes,
scream my lungs out and go home. I think
planning and executing this each week stopped me
from topping myself."
Join the half a million people who just want the
pain to stop.
http://twitter.com/fesshole
BUY THE BOOK: Please pre-buy the Fesshole book
that'll be out for Xmas and is the ideal gift
for your grumpy Uncle who can sit in the corner
occasionally smirking, before leaving in the loo
to entertain guests.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/18041903...
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Content for Amy's I in 2003 or whatever
* 'RING TONE BANGERS' - an account that reposts
old ringtunes and system start-up bongs etc.
Good stuff, if that's your bag.
https://twitter.com/ringtonebangers
* WOEFULLY NEGLECTED WEBSITE - painfully
accurate satire on the state of the web in these
platform dominated times.
http://woefullyneglected.com
* AI BOLLOCKS OF THE WEEK - Interesting look at
some of the limitations of AI image generators
https://astralcodexten.substack.com/p/a-guide-to-a...
* REMEMBER WEEZER? Weezer have launched their
new single with this novelty record player to
which you listen by spinning round in circles,
neglecting to acknowledgethat their fanbase is
now at an age where bad knees should be more of
an accessibility consideration. If they're now
in the web interactives game, then we'd like to
suggest one in which you upload your photo and
an AI tells you precisely how much you look like
Buddy Holly.
https://humanrecordplayer.com
* CHESS 2.0 - Chess, but with pawns as the only
pieces. The idea could be expanded to make a
chess construction kit - can you design a better
starting layout than the traditional board?
https://aslangames.itch.io/pawn-battle
* GOODBYE IE - Missing Internet Explorer
already? This site gives you an authentic
experience of the good old days. Now get off the
internet, your mum needs to use the phone.
https://lagplorer.tms.sx
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: BEST B3TA 'PHOTOSHOPS' THIS WEEK
A sideways look are the news through Corel Draw
Each week the b3tans open Paint Shop Pro and
train their satire pixels on current events and
here's three of our favs:
* Happy Toast has waged war upon India Jones:
https://b3ta.com/board/11369826
* Monkeon is worried about how Michael Knight is
copying with the credit crunch
https://b3ta.com/board/11369948
* Cumquat May is being rude about Boris Johnson,
the naughty scamp
https://b3ta.com/board/11369269
Check out the rest of our popular images this
week:
https://b3ta.com/board/popular/
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: THINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE NEXT WEEK
Free ideas to stick into your brain pipe
* THE MANIC MINER SEQUEL THAT *SHOULD* HAVE
HAPPENED IN 1984 - take the Jet Set Willy
screens and rework them as Manic Miner, so
they're sequential, get the blobs, next level.
Screens that can't really be done in one, coz
lack of access, could be grouped. So a level
could be three screens occasionally.
* SCLEROTIC BY MADONNA - An economic confidence
indicator could probably be plotted over time by
counting the amount of times the FT and
Economist use the word 'sclerotic'
* IS THERE A THIRD FRANKIE GAME SOMEONE CAN
MAKE? - Two Tribes would lend itself to some
sort of nuclear war text adventure, or maybe
just write a choose-your-own-adventure where you
play the one of 'the lads', Nasher, Basher,
Tasher, whoever they are, and wake up drunk in
some terrible hotel room in Liverpool, in a pile
of your own vomit, and have to hitchhike to
London to appear on Cheggers Plays Pop, else
Trevor Horn will give a bad remix.
Stick your content here, and we'll be the judge:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people. Almost romantically.
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
by Kat E. Thanks Kat.
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
- extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
you, you kind humans.
And do please donate as you get occasional
"bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
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: I'M SORRY I'VE WRITTEN A JOKE
The Porcupine From Purgatory apologises
What's the opposite of Piers Morgan?
Piers Nacht.
https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/
