NEWSLETTER: "BREAKING: THE OLDEST PERSON TO HAVE POSSIBLY GONE ON A CLUB 18-30 HOLIDAY WOULD NOW BE 84"
This Week:
* THE KUBRICK TIMES - '2001' News created with AI
* PROJECT - Blue Plaques for less important stuff
* CHALLENGE - Books into computer games
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the web
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | like Jesus saves
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| at the Woolwich"
B3ta email 827 - 29 Jul 2022
Read this issue to your cat & watch it ignore you:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue827
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: UPSHOT SPONSORSHIP
Spicing up the bland world of sports coverage
If you like sport, you'll love the Upshot - a
weekly newsletter dishing out gossip,
controversy and tasteless jokes from the world
of British sport.
Sign up for free and get a five minute hit of
sporting filth every Friday.
https://upshot.email/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
Other than making sweet love to their parts
* THE KUBRICK TIMES - Matt Round has taken the
headlines Stanley Kubrick used in his movie 2001
for a bit of background atmosphere and used AI
to imagine the articles that they could have
represented. Matt brings his usual attention to
detail to this project to make it really shine.
https://vole.wtf/kubrick-times/
* BLUE PLAQUES OF SMALL CONSEQUENCE - Mystery
Person writes, "So, um, I have something I've
made that I think would be good for the
newsletter, but I can't be credited as I do it
anonymously. Basically, a street art project
where I put up little blue plaques to small,
human moments as opposed to big important people
you've probably never heard of. Stuff like 'In
this Cafe, Amy Cooper realised that even if he
did show up, she didn't really want him to, and
quietly left, 10am 5th March 2019' The anonymity
is just a practical thing, don't want to get
arrested and charged for criminal damage."
https://www.instagram.com/emotional_heritage/
* THIS WEEK'S WORDLE RIP - Robhogan has made a
project which he describes as "Wordle meets
Tetris" and then asks "Are you a Niall or a
Robert?"
https://mwenge.github.io/wordris/
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: HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
Buy some lovely clothes
Have you ever considered that you should cover up your legs and arms and stuff with clothes so that you're not naked? If so, Hebtro is here to help you by providing clothes for cash - all made to the highest standards, made in the UK, and designed to last:
https://hebtro.co/
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: FESSHOLE
Your confessions fessed up for cheap lols
Each week you keep telling us your confessions
and we've begged you to stop, but you won't so
this is our life now:
* MASK - "Got harassed by a guy on a train for
still wearing a mask. Loudly told him I was
undergoing chemo. Got home and made a £50
donation to Macmillan. I don't have cancer, but
the public humiliation of the twat was worth
every penny."
* CATS - "I have 3 cats, and sometimes I pretend
to have a heart attack and collapse in a heap on
the floor, motionless, to see how they'd react.
They don't give a fuck. Ever."
* PETTY REVENGE - "I work on social media for a
top UK supermarket. Sometimes after work I'll
log into my troll account and abuse the
customers that are cunts since I can't do it on
the work account."
Join the now 558k people who won't believe you
if you post something quite believable, and then
dob you in to the wankers at Didn't Happen Of
The Year.
https://twitter.com/fesshole/
Pre-order the book because we've wasted most of
the summer trying to make it good for all you
ungrateful bastards:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/18041903...
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Type-ins from 'Your HTML' magazine
* WEIRD AI PICS - all the weirdest output from
Dall-E in one place on a Reddit forum. Had us in
stitches.
https://www.reddit.com/r/weirddalle/top/
* IDEAL HOLIDAY ZONE - a visit to a ghost town
that hasn't been lived in since the 1980s, but
is still maintained in perfect condition.
Spooky.
https://justinmcelroy.com/2022/07/26/visiting-cana...
* USBORNE'S 80S CODING LIBRARY - JimmerUK
writes, "If you had a computer back in the 80s,
you'll probably remember these books. They were
full of information, tutorials and programmes
for the ZX Spectrum, BBC Micro, and Commodore
64. Usborne has made all the PDFs available on
their site. Lots of nostalgic fun to be had."
https://usborne.com/gb/books/computer-and-coding-b...
* FRIDAY GAME - A nice little platformer in
which you must both use and avoid your past
selves in order to collect all the gems. A good
format should The Polyphonic Spree ever want a
game that can shoehorn in all the members.
https://benjames171.itch.io/timelooper
* FAMOUS MAP - This maps notable people from
Wikipedia data onto a real world map - we were
sold when we roughly clicked on London and it
gave us Steve Jansen from 80s synth futurists
Japan.
https://tjukanovt.github.io/notable-people
* THE ONAION - This week AI is coming for...
satirical news sites. Whilst an interesting
project, thankfully it's a bit rubbish at it.
The Onion is safe. For now.
https://dailywrong.com
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
Animals in charge
Here's the best images from last week:
* A cutesy entry from S4RK which was popular
with this newsletter editor's 11 y/o son:
http://b3ta.com/board/11372553
* Well of course that's what we meant - thank
you BRB
http://b3ta.com/board/11372465
* And an enjoyable pearoast from The Twisted
Omentum
http://b3ta.com/board/11372597
* See all the other images from the 'Animals in
charge' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/animalsincharge/popular
>> This week: Classic Book Games <<
Turn classic books into computer games, give us
Great Gatsby era Grand Theft Auto and Wuthering
Heights Tetris.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/bookgames/popular
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: THINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE NEXT WEEK
Ideas to kick you off
* KEYBOARD WARRIOR GAME - the tweets come up and
you have to tell them they're a cunt and worse
60 times in a minute.
* FAKE AI - Matt Round suggests, "if you're
stuck for project suggestions you can nick this
one: FORGER-E, crops any image to 1024x1024 and
adds those coloured squares to the bottom-right
corner to make it look AI-generated."
* PLAY YOUR STARS RIGHT - mitchellstirling
writes, "I spent far too long looking at
YouGov's most famous people list for the US and
the UK. Who knew that Alan Carr is more famous
than Barack Obama? Way behind my technological
skills but there must be a Play Your Cards Right
who is the most famous game someone smart could
develop from this!"
https://yougov.co.uk/ratings/entertainment/fame/pe...
Send us your emails:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people. Almost romantically.
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (You’re welcome - Kat)
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
- extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
you, you kind humans.
And do please donate as you get occasional
"bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
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: I'M SORRY I'VE WRITTEN A JOKE
Which Sex Pistol was the thickest?
Sid Viscous
https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/...