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NEWSLETTER: "BREAKING: THE OLDEST PERSON TO HAVE POSSIBLY GONE ON A CLUB 18-30 HOLIDAY WOULD NOW BE 84"

 
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This Week:
* THE KUBRICK TIMES - '2001' News created with AI
* PROJECT - Blue Plaques for less important stuff
* CHALLENGE - Books into computer games 
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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving the web
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   like Jesus saves 
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|    at the Woolwich"

B3ta email 827 - 29 Jul 2022

Read this issue to your cat & watch it ignore you:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue827

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: UPSHOT SPONSORSHIP
  Spicing up the bland world of sports coverage

  If you like sport, you'll love the Upshot - a
  weekly newsletter dishing out gossip,
  controversy and tasteless jokes from the world
  of British sport.

  Sign up for free and get a five minute hit of
  sporting filth every Friday.
https://upshot.email/

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
  Other than making sweet love to their parts

  * THE KUBRICK TIMES - Matt Round has taken the
  headlines Stanley Kubrick used in his movie 2001
  for a bit of background atmosphere and used AI
  to imagine the articles that they could have
  represented. Matt brings his usual attention to
  detail to this project to make it really shine.
https://vole.wtf/kubrick-times/

  * BLUE PLAQUES OF SMALL CONSEQUENCE - Mystery
  Person writes, "So, um, I have something I've
  made that I think would be good for the
  newsletter, but I can't be credited as I do it
  anonymously. Basically, a street art project
  where I put up little blue plaques to small,
  human moments as opposed to big important people
  you've probably never heard of. Stuff like 'In
  this Cafe, Amy Cooper realised that even if he
  did show up, she didn't really want him to, and
  quietly left, 10am 5th March 2019' The anonymity
  is just a practical thing, don't want to get
  arrested and charged for criminal damage." 
https://www.instagram.com/emotional_heritage/

  * THIS WEEK'S WORDLE RIP - Robhogan has made a
  project which he describes as "Wordle meets
  Tetris" and then asks "Are you a Niall or a
  Robert?" 
https://mwenge.github.io/wordris/

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: HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
  Buy some lovely clothes

  Have you ever considered that you should cover up your legs and arms and stuff with clothes so that you're not naked? If so, Hebtro is here to help you by providing clothes for cash - all made to the highest standards, made in the UK, and designed to last:
https://hebtro.co/

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: FESSHOLE 
  Your confessions fessed up for cheap lols

  Each week you keep telling us your confessions
  and we've begged you to stop, but you won't so
  this is our life now:

  * MASK - "Got harassed by a guy on a train for
  still wearing a mask. Loudly told him I was
  undergoing chemo. Got home and made a £50
  donation to Macmillan. I don't have cancer, but
  the public humiliation of the twat was worth
  every penny."

  * CATS - "I have 3 cats, and sometimes I pretend
  to have a heart attack and collapse in a heap on
  the floor, motionless, to see how they'd react.
  They don't give a fuck. Ever."

  * PETTY REVENGE - "I work on social media for a
  top UK supermarket. Sometimes after work I'll
  log into my troll account and abuse the
  customers that are cunts since I can't do it on
  the work account."

  Join the now 558k people who won't believe you
  if you post something quite believable, and then
  dob you in to the wankers at Didn't Happen Of
  The Year.
https://twitter.com/fesshole/

  Pre-order the book because we've wasted most of
  the summer trying to make it good for all you
  ungrateful bastards:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/18041903...

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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Type-ins from 'Your HTML' magazine

  * WEIRD AI PICS - all the weirdest output from
  Dall-E in one place on a Reddit forum. Had us in
  stitches.
https://www.reddit.com/r/weirddalle/top/

  * IDEAL HOLIDAY ZONE - a visit to a ghost town
  that hasn't been lived in since the 1980s, but
  is still maintained in perfect condition.
  Spooky.
https://justinmcelroy.com/2022/07/26/visiting-cana...

  * USBORNE'S 80S CODING LIBRARY -  JimmerUK
  writes, "If you had a computer back in the 80s,
  you'll probably remember these books. They were
  full of information, tutorials and programmes
  for the ZX Spectrum, BBC Micro, and Commodore
  64. Usborne has made all the PDFs available on
  their site. Lots of nostalgic fun to be had." 
https://usborne.com/gb/books/computer-and-coding-b... 

  * FRIDAY GAME - A nice little platformer in
  which you must both use and avoid your past
  selves in order to collect all the gems. A good
  format should The Polyphonic Spree ever want a
  game that can shoehorn in all the members.
https://benjames171.itch.io/timelooper

  * FAMOUS MAP - This maps notable people from
  Wikipedia data onto a real world map - we were
  sold when we roughly clicked on London and it
  gave us Steve Jansen from 80s synth futurists
  Japan.
https://tjukanovt.github.io/notable-people

  * THE ONAION - This week AI is coming for...
  satirical news sites.  Whilst an interesting
  project, thankfully it's a bit rubbish at it. 
  The Onion is safe. For now.
https://dailywrong.com

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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Animals in charge

  Here's the best images from last week:

  * A cutesy entry from S4RK which was popular
  with this newsletter editor's 11 y/o son:
http://b3ta.com/board/11372553

  * Well of course that's what we meant - thank
  you BRB
http://b3ta.com/board/11372465

  * And an enjoyable pearoast from The Twisted
  Omentum
http://b3ta.com/board/11372597

  * See all the other images from the 'Animals in
  charge' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/animalsincharge/popular

  >> This week: Classic Book Games <<
  Turn classic books into computer games, give us
  Great Gatsby era Grand Theft Auto and Wuthering
  Heights Tetris.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/bookgames/popular

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: THINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE NEXT WEEK
  Ideas to kick you off

  * KEYBOARD WARRIOR GAME - the tweets come up and
  you have to tell them they're a cunt and worse
  60 times in a minute.

  * FAKE AI - Matt Round suggests, "if you're
  stuck for project suggestions you can nick this
  one: FORGER-E, crops any image to 1024x1024 and
  adds those coloured squares to the bottom-right
  corner to make it look AI-generated."

  * PLAY YOUR STARS RIGHT - mitchellstirling
  writes, "I spent far too long looking at
  YouGov's most famous people list for the US and
  the UK. Who knew that Alan Carr is more famous
  than Barack Obama? Way behind my technological
  skills but there must be a Play Your Cards Right
  who is the most famous game someone smart could
  develop from this!"
https://yougov.co.uk/ratings/entertainment/fame/pe...

  Send us your emails:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: PATREON THANKS 
  We love all these people. Almost romantically.

  *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
  MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
  JAMES* *STOOBERT*

  24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
  EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
  LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
  VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
  SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
  ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH

  Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
  lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
  Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
  Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
  Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
  Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
  blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
  Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
  Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
  Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
  Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
  Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
  H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
  Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
  Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
  Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
  Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
  Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
  Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
  McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
  Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
  Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
  Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
  Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
  Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
  Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
  mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
  OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
  Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
  Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
  pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
  Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
  RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
  sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
  McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
  Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
  Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
  Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
  Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
  Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
  Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
  Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
  Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
  Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
  Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
  James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
  Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
  Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
  Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
  Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
  Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
  Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
  Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
  Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
  Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
  Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
  Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
  Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
  STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
  Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
  Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
  Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
  Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
  Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
  Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
  Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
  Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
  Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
  Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
  FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
  Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
  Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
  Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
  madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
  Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
  Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
  Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
  Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
  Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
  Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
  Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
  Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
  Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
  Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
  Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
  Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.

  EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
  additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
  help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
  by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (You’re welcome - Kat)

  And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
  Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
  Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
  Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
  NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
  Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
  Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
  Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
  Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
  Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
  Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
  Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
  love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
  - extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
  Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
  Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
  and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
  McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
  Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
  PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
  Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
  the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
  to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
  appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
  Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
  Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
  Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
  YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
  Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
  you, you kind humans.

  And do please donate as you get occasional
  "bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta

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: I'M SORRY I'VE WRITTEN A JOKE

  Which Sex Pistol was the thickest?
  Sid Viscous
https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/...

 
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