Airport StoriesBack when I was a moody teenager I took a cheap flight that involved changing planes and having to go through security again. My bags were pre-checked so, when I set off the metal detector, I honestly said to the security guy that I had no idea what had set it off.
Until, that is, he searched me and found the metal knife and fork stamped "KLM" I'd nicked off the previous flight.
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chthonic, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 10:09)
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My most dignified momentI'd gone to visit a mate in Malmo, southern Sweden, and the nearest airport was a ferry trip away in Copenhagen. On the last day of my stay we elected to have an all-day bender in Copenhagen.
And what a bender it was. It ended at about 1am with me throwing some poor bastard's bike into the docks as my mate sailed away on the last ferry (I am not terribly proud of this), then I had several hours to kill until I had to check in for my flight home at 7am - so I had the wonderful idea of carrying on drinking at all-night bars until I set off for Copenhagen airport.
To this day I have no idea what happened during the next few hours.
The next thing I knew, I was being roughly shaken awake by a rather agitated security guard. A queue of people were standing about 30 ft away tutting at me and turning their childrens' heads around to point elsewhere. It took me a while to work out why; or, indeed, where the hell I was. But as my senses slowly came back to life all became clear.
I was laying flat on my back in the middle of the terminal at the airport, with my rucksac nearby, all the contents strewn wildly about the floor, including the large amount of porn I had presumably purchased somewhere along the way. And, inexplicably, a big black dildo.
And I was drenched almost head to foot in piss and vomit. I can only hope it was my own.
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(, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 13:17, Reply)
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