Airport StoriesBack when I was a moody teenager I took a cheap flight that involved changing planes and having to go through security again. My bags were pre-checked so, when I set off the metal detector, I honestly said to the security guy that I had no idea what had set it off.
Until, that is, he searched me and found the metal knife and fork stamped "KLM" I'd nicked off the previous flight.
Tell us your best airport stories.
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chthonic, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 10:09)
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Once you pop, you can't stop...Can you? you Egyptian cunt..!!!.Flew to Egypt with my then other half for a romantic Nile cruise...a week of idyllic peaceful sailing down the Nile, stopping off at temples and buying cheap knock off shite and daft little pyramids and statues from annoying Egyptian gimps who won't leave you alone...not to mention the perverts who leer at your bird and say things like "how much for sexy lady?" "What have you got? You can't even afford a hat for fucks sakes, and have to use a tea-towel...what could you possibly give me that I don't already have, or that I couldn't buy with my own money?" "One Million Camels, very good, very good"..."er, no, its not very good you see, whilst the thought of owning a million camels is tempting (4 million camel toes at my beck and call) It'd cost me a fortune to import them to britain, and then I'd have to buy acres of land to keep them all on..no thanks...I'll keep the bird"...
anyway, I digress...we'd enjoyed the holiday (topped off with a heavy love making session atop the steaming cruise liner under the moonlight on the last night...Again, I digress) and were in the airport...
I had some pringles in my flight bag brought from home, to eat on the way back...going through the bag checks, this pharoah cunt decided to check my bags...fair enough, nothing in there incriminating...just my pringles, and all our shite bought from random gimps...anyway, the cunt only opened my pringles and ate some...to which I replied "What the fucking hell are you doing? They're mine.." he then looked at me, and ate some more, so I went psycho and ranted at him, only to be ushered away at gunpoint to a small room where I was made to see the error of my ways...but not before I'd made my point, naturally...anyway, I got out, finally, to find my bird surrounded by loads of these fucking mummy lovers, and see the cunt of an attendant sharing my pringles with his mates...what an arsehole...
then the cunts searched me and found my lip balm...the cunts...the whole plane saw it and laughed at me...I hate egypt...
So if you ever go to Luxor airport, and you see a guy eating pringles, give him a slap from me...
(, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 19:15, Reply)
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