Ryanair, Barcelona to Luton, September 2005
On my way back from a weekend break with The Boyfriend to celebrate my degree results, our plane got taken over by a chav hen party.

I'll say that slowly so that it can sink in properly. CHAV....HEN....PARTY.

We first came across these ungodly creatures in the duty free shop - they were buying huge bottles of vodka and yelling at the checkout staff. The bride to be was one of the most hideous creatures I have ever seen. She basically looked as if she didn't eat, but smoked and drank instead. She was skeletally thin with peroxide hair, grey bags under her eyes and yellow teeth. She was sporting a large badge featuring a cock and balls which jutted out grotesquely from her chest, and which she periodically sucked suggestively, amidst much mirth from her companions, who were all wearing personalised vest tops, reading such hilariously alliterative names as "Cock-Sucking Carly". We decided immediately that we wanted to be as far away from them as possible when we got onto the plane, which we made sure of - unfortunately they changed their minds about where to sit and ended up right behind us. A man on the plane was obviously rather taken with them as he proceeded to flirt with all of them in the most disgusting manner imaginable. The bride to be had an absolutely repulsive laugh, which she let rip at full volume each time he propositioned her. During this interchange we also discovered that she had had sexual relations with several men of extremely poor taste whilst on the trip. The whole thing was just unbelievable - not in the most depraved underbelly of my imagination could I have envisaged the carnage.

Also on the plane were several Spaniards on their way to London, who were looking rather peturbed at their first glimpse of English culture. I hope things picked up for them after we arrived.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Sun 5 Mar 2006, 19:20, Reply)