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This is a question Airport Stories

Back when I was a moody teenager I took a cheap flight that involved changing planes and having to go through security again. My bags were pre-checked so, when I set off the metal detector, I honestly said to the security guy that I had no idea what had set it off.

Until, that is, he searched me and found the metal knife and fork stamped "KLM" I'd nicked off the previous flight.

Tell us your best airport stories.

(, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 10:09)
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Mussels from Brussels
I had a business trip to Brussels which involved an overnight stop and flying back to Heathrow for a meeting early the next morning. So I went out on the town and made a new friend with whom I got seriously drunk and seriously laid.

Next morning I woke late and took the taxi ride of death to the airport and somehow managed to check-in, where I was told to rush to the gate as the plane was ready go.

Moving quickly had a deteriorating effect on my stomach but I managed to keep it together until I walked along the ramp to the plane, when I felt one of my infamous projectile vomit moments coming on. I spotted the door leading to the tarmac near the end of the ramp but it was locked, so I decorated the door handle with Belgian mussels and beer and then walked onto the plane - to be greeted by the cheery smile of the hostess and the disgruntled faces of the delayed passengers - which was nothing compared to the look of horror from the ground staff who was opening the door behind me.

When I got to Heathrow I felt so terrible I called in sick and went to the cafe to recover before going into work 3 hours late.

- Mussels smell really bad when mixed with beer and stomach acid for 8 hours.
- Got my own back on the ground staff who piss about with the ramp for 20 minutes when you're trying to get off the place, twats.
- Belgian beer gets you laid.

Apologies for length and putting you off your breakfast.
(, Wed 8 Mar 2006, 3:44, Reply)

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