many flights, no time
1. Coming into New York for a two-month 'holiday' (read: trying to get a job and a visa from the inside out), I had to fill in an immigration form. I did this. As I got to the desk I realised I'd failed to fill in the back section, where you tick (or not) boxes admitting to membership of pinko subversive organisations, have a pocketful of semtex on you and dislike cheese. Nick pen off fellow passenger and fill this in. Hand it over to the nice man. Blag the 'holiday' story with the official. Smugly get through.
As some of you may (or not) recall, my big claim to fame (until something better turns up) is that I was in NY during September 11. Which promptly happens. Report self as not dead to the British Embassy, as I'd heard you were meant to.
Discover when I'd dragged myself off the plane back in Blighty, having failed to stay, that had 9/11 not happened and the company I worked for had been able to sponsor me (teh US stopped giving out visas the same day), that the card I'd filled in but had quite stupidly forgot to actually sign would therefore have resulted in quite potentially a long night in the clink and deportation. Jolly good.

2. Flight aged 13 back from Portugal on my own (ooh, exciting), MASSIVE storm over London. A small irritating child next to me (American. I wish I could say differently, but I bet you knew it even before I wrote it) has been bashing me with toy locomotives etc for an hour. As we circle London, slowly we can see the epicentre of the storm. I kid you not, it looked like a mushroom cloud. Plane starts to sound like it's breaking apart. Kid crashes two toy cars into each other repeatedly, shouting loudly "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEE!!!!!"
Kill it hard.
We did land safely though, if a bit shaken.

3. My brother. Where to begin. So many stories. I still like the time he got stopped coming into the States after the scanner beeped. He was 14, but they still took off his belt, shoes, and most importantly here, his watch. He didn't beep the second time.
What made us laugh once outside the airport is the fact the watch handled and approved by the men with guns was an official Russian Airforce watch my dad had smuggled out of Russia, and at the time tensions were briefly back up between the two countries. My brother is tall, broad shouldered, blonde, blue-eyed, chisel-featured, and couldn't look more Russian Military if he TRIED. He also looked about 30 even as a 15 year old.
Just a few seconds more attention from the yank with an AK-47 and we would have been in for a long night.

I will post the funnier ones another time. I have none right now.

TA!
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Thu 9 Mar 2006, 16:13, Reply)