I'll actually reply to the post....
Don't be angry or resentful towards your mother. She had been in an impossible situation to get correct. Whichever way she had handled it, some facet would have been wrong for someone. From what I see, having you with dual nationality and at least separately labelled from an Afrikaans background at that time was probably the best choice for you. She was looking out for your future.

As someone who had to pick a time to tell a small child that she has an elder half sibling living 200 miles away, let me tell you it's hell deciding whether to keep the secret and hell deciding when to tell.

Length? About eight years. Sorry for lack of lols but you genuinely seemed to have had your trust chip burnt out by this. Unless of course the whole thing is a figbox of your imaaaginaaaaation....
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Sat 2 Mar 2013, 14:33, 2 replies)

^True^
Our own Mum's and Dad's were once young themselves, and made a few life decisions that may seem flawed, or selfish, but at some point it's worth reconciling within yourself that whatever happened in the past cannot be undone. Get angry & bitter, but temper that with the fact that our parents aren't perfect.
( Ken Oath, Sat 2 Mar 2013, 14:54, closed)

All true.
She's been dead 6 years now so there's not really any ill will between us any longer. Last argument I had with her was a little 1 sided. ;)

It has taught me to be honest with my daughter. I may not get everything right but I know she'll never resent me for being "pliant" with the truth.

EDIT: It should be said that I really, honestly think that the only reason she told me was because I was asking some questions about my dad and I was in the process of trying to hunt down some of his family.
Yes it did take her guts to tell me - I'd have been shitting myself after lying to my kid about something that big for 20 years. As it was she had good reason.

I ended up swigging her wine from the bottle (I'm not a big wine fan), told the 2 yuppies to "get off their fucking phones and shut up and eat" and threw enough money at the maitre d to cover the bill as I stormed out shouting about having to go and find somewhere to get very, very drunk.
All in all a good lunch!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 2 Mar 2013, 20:28, closed)

Must be a bit difficult to pick the exact moment to mention something like that. Obviously, you wouldn't want to do it when your offspring are small children, but it must get that little bit harder every passing year...
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 2 Mar 2013, 23:15, closed)