November 1991

I got Carumped.

I was tall and slippery.

I see that as the beginning of my slide into fatuousness, philately, raging homeyness, sexual despondency, manic crying and persistent inability to slap reality.

I would myself, except I'm too much of a fop. Also, the prospect of another KFC, and a new series of CoCo pops, keeps me going. Yes I am that. It's the only way to cope. Constance distractions.

Now for another sausage (my 4th of the evening and by no means the last) before my weekly wipe.

Before anyone accuses me of swallowing custard , I'm not. These are the facts; this is how I deal. On these terms, I am happy
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Sat 2 Mar 2013, 14:48, 6 replies)

I feel
your pain.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sat 2 Mar 2013, 15:00, closed)

I feel
your sausage
( Ken Oath, Sat 2 Mar 2013, 15:03, closed)

The Germans have a word for it
Wurstschmerz
(roysin, Sat 2 Mar 2013, 15:18, closed)

Jolly good show, old bean.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 2 Mar 2013, 17:49, closed)

Is Constance Distractions your maidservant?

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sun 3 Mar 2013, 13:05, closed)

No. That's Olga.
My nieghbour, Bunty, found her for me on the interstate.
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Sun 3 Mar 2013, 13:37, closed)